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feeling a little down about my weight at 30 weeks... your stories welcome

(25 Posts)
ALR123 Fri 06-Nov-15 23:26:34

I feel so bloody selfish writing this as I was told I wouldn't be able to conceive naturally and they were wrong, so I know how blessed I am.
I've always been naturally slim and a size 8-10. I am now 30 weeks pregnant and so far have put on 2.5 stone. Mother in law just commented that my legs and face are fat and other friends have made comments in a jokey way about my weight gain.
I saw a photo of myself taken at a meal earlier and seriously could have cried.
I don't recognise myself! Nothing has swollen and I don't seem to have water retention, I just look fat!
Did you find your changing body hard to deal with and how soon after did you go back to normal?
I now have awful cellulite too and am just waiting for the stretch marks to appear. I cannot wait to become a mum bit I just feel so unattractive it's really getting me down :-(

5hell Sat 07-Nov-15 08:11:58

flowers for u OP ...I used to be an 8-10, and I'm only 5' 2", now at 19w4d I've put on about a stone and yes I'm finding it hard, strange and as a shorty I don't think I'm carrying it that well confused

But I'm just trying to keep active, not pig out massively and focus on remembering what a massive change this is for our bodies!

Look after yourself and remember that most likely ALL pregnant women feel like this to some extent.

You'll get back to u eventually (or won't care because u'll have a wonderful new baby!)

Do u think something like a hair cut, facial or massage might make u feel better in the short term?

Mumberjack Sat 07-Nov-15 08:20:41

Well your MIL and friends are just being nasty. They are perhaps jealous of your slim figure so are using your pregnancy to have a sort of glee that you've put on weight.
2.5 stone seems an OK weight to put on and definitely within healthy ranges. Don't let their comments spoil your pregnancy.

I found it hard to see my figure adjusting but it does adjust again afterwards.

GizzyBoo Sat 07-Nov-15 08:28:57

Yes. I'm struggling too.
Although this baby is very much wanted I have spent the previous year very much trying to lose weight and had lost just over 4st taking me down to a size 12.
I'm 12 weeks today and have put on 8lb already. I'm struggling to get my head around this being ok.
I also know I need to start watching what I eat but the first 12 weeks have been hard and I've needed carbs and crap to combat the nausea.

Your weight sounds fine to me and I'm sure you have a lovely bump by now. Xx

BeeMyBaby Sat 07-Nov-15 08:39:52

I'm 5"2, started off a small size 10 and at almost 30 weeks have gained about 2.5stone as well. I started heavier in my previous 2 pregnancies but gained the same amount and found the longer I breastfed the easier it was to shift the weight afterwards. I think it's more important that you keep your exercise levels up so you are still fit for birth than what weight you've gained although I'm loathing the chub rub I'm currently experiencing with my new mega thighs.

Junosmum Sat 07-Nov-15 08:47:55

My friend has an 8 week old little girl. She put on 4stone in total. 10 days after birth she was at her pre pregnancy weight and now she's a stone lighter and hasn't been trying to lose weight. I wouldn't worry too much.

Runningupthathill82 Sat 07-Nov-15 08:49:50

I know it sounds trite but, honestly, try not to worry about it. If you're eating well, and remaining active, ignore the scales as there's so many factors that come into play with weight gain.

I started my first pregnancy as a size 12. Gained 2st exactly and lost it all by 7 weeks. I then went on to lose another stone and a half.

I then started this pregnancy as a size 8-10 and have gained almost 2.5stone at 29 weeks. That seems ridiculous, and I feel huge, but there really is no explanation as to why I've gained so much more this time round.

I'm eating well (ish) and am still very active. I only stopped running at 25ish weeks. Although I don't like feeling so chubby and bloated, there's little more I can do aside from stay healthy and worry about losing it afterwards.

I've also mentioned my huge weight gain to the midwives at each appointment. They're not remotely worried!

ALR123 Sat 07-Nov-15 10:07:43

Thanks everyone for your stories. I'm glad I'm not alone. I'd obviously take this over not being pregnant any day but sometimes I just feel horrible.
It doesn't help that my husband hasn't laid a finger on me since we found out I was pregnant at the start of May as he finds it 'weird' -we've only been married less than a year and had a good sex life despite being together for 10 yrs. I feel like he must be finding me unattractive too!
For the first couple of months I was absolutely fine and was just gaining a nice little bump, but at 19 weeks I was bed bound for almost 5 weeks due to severe back and joint problems which came overnight but then also disappeared overnight eventually top. During that time even walking to the toilet was a huge struggle and was done on crutches and I seemed to just put weight on. Now I'm back to my old self and trying to walk about as much as possible but I feel like those 5 weeks just ruined me!
I'm planning on breast feeding so hopefully that'll help me lose it blush

goodnessgraciousgoudaoriginal Sat 07-Nov-15 13:40:13

It's way easier to put on more weight than necessary when pregnant - I've been really surprised by it to be honest.

If you had a period where you were pretty much on bed rest (especially in the second trimester when nausea has probably calmed down), then it's no wonder that you've put on a bit more weight than you were expecting. But five weeks is really nothing compared to the pregnancy as a whole - it won't have "ruined" you! Maybe try some pregnancy workout videos online in addition to your walking, and just make sure you aren't going too crazy on food. If you do that, then at least you know in yourself that however much you gain, it will be less than if you had sat on your arse doing nothing.

It's difficult to know about your MIL - only you will be able to tell if she is just being totally thoughtless (but not malicious), or if she is just being a total bitch. If it's the former, maybe have a gentle, quiet word with her. If it's the latter, maybe have a sharper "So it's my turn to critique YOUR appearance now is it?" quip for next time.

goodnessgraciousgoudaoriginal Sat 07-Nov-15 13:42:18

PS, Your husband might need to grow up a bit as well - sounds like he might have a bit of a childish Madonna/whore complex.

How would he feel if you refused to lay a finger on him after the birth because it was "weird" that he was a father now?

Havalina1 Sat 07-Nov-15 13:49:37

Oh my god OP please please listen to me!! I am 6 weeks post partum and I'm looking at myself with delight - yes I've still got a roundy tummy but exactly like you I weighed up a lot while pregnant and my face was so puffy - my normally long slim legs started to resemble tree trunks ... It all just fell off after the baby! I wish I'd known it would, I was convinced it was FAT but I now think it was water retained.

Sorry it didn't fall off, rather it sweated off in the first few weeks at night.... Now that wasn't pleasant! Pools of sweat between my breasts. Lovely. But glad now it's all gone. My face looks normal - I am so glad to see my face again as I know it! So don't worry, just don't! You'll be your lovely self again in no time. Plus your body is doing an amazing thing now plus after birth in the way it rapidly adjusts, I am a little in awe with what our bodies can do so rapidly!

Havalina1 Sat 07-Nov-15 13:54:03

Sorry by 'weighed up' I mean your weight gain is/was similar to mine - it's not a lot at all through. I don't mean to imply you have gained "a lot"!

I was also bed bound for a period and on crutches. My OH also didn't go near me which I think is very sad, as I think a pregnant body is a lovely thing, and it's fascinating!

Mintyy Sat 07-Nov-15 13:58:15

Junsmum - your friend has lost 5 stone in 8 weeks? Are you quite sure?

Sunshine511 Sat 07-Nov-15 14:07:42

I agree with what a previous poster said that they are probably jealous of your naturally slim physique so they are using your pregnancy as a chance to make nasty comments to make them feel better about themselves!! I've seen this happen many times before! One of my friends is a lovely girl who just happens to be extremely slim and pretty and even does some modelling! She had a really rough time of it when she was pregnant with people being nasty! Within a few months, she was back modelling again and also had a beautiful baby boy to show for it!!! Let them talk!!! Be proud of your body for the fact it's going to give you the greatest gift! Your weight will drop as soon as you have the baby but in the mean time, wear those extra pounds with pride!! flowers

magpie17 Sat 07-Nov-15 14:12:55

I feel your pain. I had a BMI of 19 before I got pregnant and was really fit. I gained nearly FOUR STONE when pregnant and felt horrible (delighted to be having a baby though obviously). DS is now 16 weeks and I've still got 20lb to go, I eat well and exercise more than any of the mums of a young babies I know, but it still won't budge. I have no advice but you are not alone!

ALR123 Sat 07-Nov-15 14:16:14

Thanks so much all, and Havalina that's so nice and reassuring to hear. I really don't know why I am letting it get to me so much, everyone keeps telling me to embrace it as it's the only time you can eat what you want but I always has this image in my head of what I'd look like pregnant and this is most definitely not it!

magpie17 Sat 07-Nov-15 15:42:05

Hmm, to be honest, I learned that's it's not a time to eat what you want!! I did and I really wish I hadn't, I feel like I have given myself a lot of work to do at this end and it's much harder with a young baby. If I was lucky enough to get pregnant again I would try very hard not to pile on the weight because I only have myself to blame for my weight now!

goodnessgraciousgoudaoriginal Sat 07-Nov-15 18:22:09

Agree with magpie that it's definitely not a time to "eat whatever you want"! Not only because "eating what I want" would certainly involve a metric ton of forbidden cheese and red wine, but also because all the weight you gain when pregnant doesn't magically disappear after the fact unfortunately! grin

Never really understood where that idea came from to be honest!

Jjcrackers Sat 07-Nov-15 18:30:48

I really struggled with accepting the weight gain and actually went to see a counsellor about it as I was sending myself a bit nutty with the fact I had lost complete control over my body

I ended up putting 4 stone on in the end (going from 8-12 some due to acute polyhyradramnios so don't panic; it is unlikely that you will do too!) and spent much of my pregnancy in a state of self loathing/hiding as much as I could

Looking back I really wish I'd just enjoyed it a bit more and embraced my body - there is nothing better than a pregnant woman who is loving it!

If you are naturally slim and like exercise the weight will come off. Walking was my friend!

Featherstep Sun 08-Nov-15 15:42:18

OP I feel very similar and glad to have read this thread. I've always been a slim size 8 and a reasonably fit dancer.
Now at 21 weeks I've been gaining about a pound a week. I like tight tailored clothes normally and now struggle to dress nice. I feel like Humpty Dumpty, and surprised I can't even use my stomach muscles - recently while on holiday I tried to lift myself up to sit on the side of the river for a photo, failed and alarmed my husband who seriously thought I was going to tumble backwards into the river!!
My husband also says he thinks sex is 'weird' because the baby is in the way. He marvels at my shape change - in a nice, affectionate way - but I no longer feel like I'm attractive to him.

I know it's vain to think these thoughts, and the changes are temporary. I just think a lot of people (myself included) underestimate how hard it is for women to cope with losing control of their body. I guess it's all very personal and in the larger scale of things, is a phase that adds to your own understanding of yourself as you go through life.

ALR123 Sun 08-Nov-15 21:13:14

Yes definitely, I think it is the out of control element of the weight gain that I struggle with. People keep telling me to eat what I want but I don't! I am eating well most of the time and am working full time but just feel gross. My bump is so high too, I can't even fit my hand between boobs and bump which I think makes me look fatter.
I've ducked out of my xmas party because I can't bear the thought of wearing a dress and having pics at 8 months pregnant! Thank god I'm heavily pregnant in winter when I can cover up that's all I can say wink

Dixiechick17 Sun 08-Nov-15 21:50:38

I was a 6-8 and I put on four stone. By six weeks post birth I had lost over two and a half stone without trying. Am now five months post birth and half a stone off of my booking in weight. I haven't been trying to lose as didn't particularly want to get down to my pre birth weight and quite like my new curves smile

toffeeboffin Mon 09-Nov-15 00:48:45

I put on 50 pounds.

That's about 3 and a half stone! I promised myself I would only put on 30 pounds, maximum. That went by the wayside as I literally couldn't stop eating, I used to wake up because I was so hungry, tried to eat healthily but just wanted carbs.

I was back to my pre-pregnancy weight within 4 months and losg more weight, I now weigh less than before I got pregnant.

I know it's difficult to listen to but try not to worry about the weight gain. It's natural and you'll soon lose it. One woman I knew gained 70 pounds. Single pregnancy too!

Good luck flowers

ConsciousPilot Mon 09-Nov-15 00:56:08

Please don't think breastfeeding is the answer. I found it caused monstrous hunger and some considerable laying down of lard. Pram pushing every day will melt the fat away. Stay out of your car.

I was a 6-8 before getting pregnant, I'm 5'2". I put on 6 stone (including the baby). In my case, the weight gain was at least partly because I'd had to very quickly come off some medication when I found out I was pregnant, which affected my appetite & caused awful insomnia. I made up for lack of sleep by eating more, as I was so tired. It didn't really work though - I just got big. I was back in my pre-pregnancy jeans by the time DD was 2. I'm really not a gym person either, I just watched what I ate & it slowly came off.

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