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I'm livid! (long)

(27 Posts)
teamrigby Thu 05-Nov-15 12:27:07

I'm 34 weeks and this is our first baby. I had the midwife yesterday afternoon and thought I would ask about antenatal classes as had not heard anything.

My midwife has been off sick for the last three visits and her stand-in was on holiday this week, so I mentioned to the cover that I hadn't heard anything, which is when she turned to me and said I was supposed to arrange them at about 26 weeks and should be taking the classes about now. Why hadn't I arranged them?!?! err this is news to me grin !!!!!!!!!!!!

Turns out that they are fully booked until January, as is the neighbouring town's centre and the hospital's overflow classes are booked up until the end of January!!!!!!!!

I phoned my midwife centre back this morning to update and got quite angry at their cock-up! I have asked if we could have an extended appointment with my stand-in midwife as it is their fault and they have said I will need to get the midwife's approval and I need to telephone her 1st thing on Monday to confirm...

They said that they could squeeze me in on an emergency class on 10th Dec but I'm due on the 15th lol!!

Feel like the NHS is falling to bits and if you don't take charge of your own care, no-one else seems to bother!! sad

Grrrrrrrr

FrozenPonds Thu 05-Nov-15 12:31:44

I thought it was pretty standard to arrange your own classes, NCT or otherwise.

The paperwork I was given at my booking appt mentioned that hospital ones book up fast, so to book straight away.

Your not missing anything though, they just cover basic stuff about feeding choices, analgesia, maybe a tour of a post natal ward.

Loads of people never bother at all with them.

Whatthefreakinwhatnow Thu 05-Nov-15 12:35:46

You are lucky your local trust still offers them, the NHS is so overstretched a lot can no longer afford to so its pay for NCT or equivalent or don't go.

I can understand your disappointed but to be livid seems a bit strong, Midwives are crazily busy people and human at the end of the day, they forget thongs just as we do.

Perhaps calmly explain that you would like to attend an earlier class if possible and why, rather than taking it out on the MW.

I went to classes with my first but to be honest, I didn't need to its all very basic stuff and I learnt nothing there that I didn't already know from my books etc.

It really won't be the end of the world if you don't get to go, I promise! You will just know how to look after your baby instinctively and ad for paim relief options etc, there are some great websites and books that are far more comprehensive.

Enjoy the rest of your pregnancy and good luck for delivery smile

space0bongo Thu 05-Nov-15 12:36:23

Looks like they really dropped the ball here. If all else fails go here? www.babycentre.co.uk/e1042530/sign-up-for-free-antenatal-classes

Pootles2010 Thu 05-Nov-15 12:43:46

Most places don't do them - I bet you already know most of what you'll be told. All we found out was where to park at the hospital!

And yes the NHS is stretched to breaking point, sadly.

cth1982 Thu 05-Nov-15 13:10:10

I was lucky that my local NHS trust offered classes for free - they are drop-in sessions so you just turn up and they can accommodate large numbers of people if required (we started at 30 and have now dropped down to 10!) - but you do have to arrange everything yourself.

I have to say although this is my first baby I haven't found them earth shattering but I figure if I learn one new thing each time it is worth the effort.

I have friends who have done the NCT courses and really enjoyed themselves - I just couldn't part myself with the fees considering I could go to my current ones for free.

catbertha Thu 05-Nov-15 13:40:37

My midwife told me about the local NHS ones but said that if I was going to NCT or another class then I shouldn't book in as places are so limited. the NHS ones were really just for those who couldn't afford other classes. I decided to investigate them but when I called the next day they were already booked up.

From what I've heard, NCT classes are very good for making friends with other new parents - not so sure that's the case with NHS ones. But as others have said, most of what you learn you can get online.

VegasIsBest Thu 05-Nov-15 13:49:35

I can see that it feels like you've been let down. However you say;

Feel like the NHS is falling to bits and if you don't take charge of your own care, no-one else seems to bother!!

You aren't ill, you are about to become a parent. Of course you need to take charge of your own care.

teamrigby Thu 05-Nov-15 13:50:54

Thanks for all the feedback peeps. As this is my first, I was completely unaware - learn something new every day!

teamrigby Thu 05-Nov-15 13:52:36

VegasIsBest - that was a bit of a rant. But my dad has really been messed around with hip replacements over the passed year and he also works for the NHS, so not just this smile

DeputyPecksBentBeak Thu 05-Nov-15 13:52:58

It's perfectly normal to arrange your own antenatal classes. It's a shame the midwife didn't mention about it earlier in your pregnancy but it is still your responsibility. And I would have expected you to ask about them sooner than 6 weeks before you are due.

It's sounds as if the person you spoke to was very helpful getting you in before (albeit 5 days) before your due date, especially as you blamed them for something that was your job to sort out confused

DeputyPecksBentBeak Thu 05-Nov-15 13:53:23

X-posted with your last replies

SpaggyBollocks Thu 05-Nov-15 13:54:54

meh. can't bring myself to get too worked up about that.

my midwife suggested that I could investigate classes if I wished, but also added that they are really just a bit of a jolly so mums-to-be can meet each other locally. I didn't bother and ds has turned out fine!

why should your midwife arrange them for you?

Fairydogmother Thu 05-Nov-15 13:54:58

To be honest you haven't missed much if you don't go to them. If you're fairly well read up then honestly it will be enough. I found them utterly useless before I had my first baby. Good luck!

April2013 Thu 05-Nov-15 14:09:43

I found health visitors, local children's centre and mumsnet more useful than antenatal classes - also there are lots of useful videos on nhs website about safe sleep, bathing a baby etc. I found some midwives great at offering advice and tips once I was in hospital recovering from birth and getting to grips with a newborn but some fairly disgruntled that I didn't know already but it was all totally new to me, there is a lot to learn\decide on an ongoing basis (forever lol) once you have your baby and thankfully there is lots of info out there. I used to rely on the NHS website and luckily had a wonderful health visitor. Also the NCT helpline is very good, and I think Tommy s describe themselves as 'your online midwife' and have a FB page.

teamrigby Thu 05-Nov-15 14:11:11

Ok. Thanks for everyone's feedback.

NicoleWatterson Thu 05-Nov-15 14:17:29

I had exactly the same, I also had barely any midwife contact.
Do you know what, it was fine. I very much had the attitude, what will be will be. Baby will come how baby will come.
I had no baby experience, the hospital midwives were lovely and showed me how to change a nappy and feed.

I also got lost on the doctors and health visitors systems so was very much on my own after too - that one I am bitter about! But again it was all fine.

What people expect and plan can and often goes out the window, so sometimes I think your better off reading and doing your own research, and going in without expectations.

Runningupthathill82 Thu 05-Nov-15 14:46:38

The provision of NHS antenatal classes is excellent in my area, but you still have to arrange and book onto the course yourself, through the hospital. I don't think the midwife mentioned it at all, but all the info was there online.

It's not at all usual in my experience for midwives to arrange antenatal classes for you. I mean, for all they know you're already doing NCT or something else privately.

I think you've realised now that your being "livid" is misplaced, OP, so I won't go on any further. But I feel a bit sorry for the midwife who you got "quite angry" on the phone with.

PeppasNanna Thu 05-Nov-15 15:17:16

Honestly in this day & age new mums have so much information available through the internet, pregnancy classes won't teach you much.

Good luck!

Autumn2014 Thu 05-Nov-15 15:52:31

First time round I didn't get to attend my local nhs ones or the nct we had booked on as I delivered at 31 weeks. This time the nhs ones don't exist and we can't afford nct

April2013 Thu 05-Nov-15 16:49:25

Tbh I think it is normal to expect a midwife to mention NHS antenatal classes with enough time for you to book onto them, its not a crazy expectation at all. Things are just changing a lot with the NHS unfortunately sad

Wishfulmakeupping Thu 05-Nov-15 16:52:49

Same happened to me but I found out bit earlier- managed to get on nct type one but tbh it wasn't worth the stress didn't learn anything I didn't already know.

PrincessPunzie Fri 06-Nov-15 23:35:11

Having glanced at this thread a few days ago, I asked my midwife today (at my booking in appointment) what happened regarding antenatal classes, and she told me that I would be booked onto them automatically. So perhaps it simply depends on where you live. I'm grateful that this was flagged up, anyway, as I wouldn't have thought to ask at this early stage otherwise and at least it's one less thing to worry about now!

Dixiechick17 Sat 07-Nov-15 19:22:18

One thing that I wouldn't have known about had I not done NCT was the perineal massage which you can start from around now. It is meant to minimise tearing, worth googling.

toohardtothinkofaname Sun 08-Nov-15 09:12:58

I'm quite pro-active & had researched and booked my classes before my midwife even mentioned them. I think it would be unwise to expect everything to happen for you, they're massively over-stretched & we sometimes just have to help ourselves.

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