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Not sure if this is the right place for it but toddler and pregnancy is hard work...

(32 Posts)
Chloeisobelle21 Mon 19-Oct-15 09:36:17

I'm in my 11th week and really have been pretty ill since week 6. I am not being sick that much but always heaving and my tummy feels horrible. Completely off all foods, and I just feel like a piece of poo.
My worry is my 20 month old daughter, for the last month she hasn't been out as much as usual,( I would take her out everyday we were always doing something) but now I just don't feel able too because of how bad I feel. I have family that sometimes takes her. But I'm relying on cebeebies and the telly way too much sad
I feel like she's being affected, I mean it won't be forever but I jut can't see when I'm going to start feeling better get. I'm just so worried she's loosing social skills and things...

Iammad Mon 19-Oct-15 09:57:04

I'm 27 weeks and have 5 other children,14,8,7,6 and 12 months old.
I have felt that way I haven't taken my children out as much as I normally do.
My husband works a lot so Its me that normaly does this type of thing.
I try and do baking with the older children playing games, just sitting singing,talking playing games with my 12 month old.
Going in the garden picking up leafs and making a picture with them, talking about what you are doing (amazing what they pick up from you) .
At 20 months she will be happy with your attention and playing with her.
There will be plenty of time to make it up to her, don't feel bad.

Chloeisobelle21 Mon 19-Oct-15 10:00:32

Ah thank you, that's a good idea. Sometimes just the thought of sitting on the floor and playing makes my back ache and I'm so uncomfortable, I feel so guilty though. The weather isn't amazing but I would still be taking her out sad just hope this crap feeling eases soon! And you must be seriously busy, it's good that you can do baking and things. My little one does just walk about and play but I feel like such a rubbish mum cause I'm just sat on the sofa

PosterEh Mon 19-Oct-15 10:03:51

I think the benefit from a sibling close in age out weights the short term disadvantage.

waxweasel Mon 19-Oct-15 10:38:45

Dont feel bad! I'm 15 weeks and have a DD who is 2.3. I'm signed off work at the moment as I'm such a vomity state, so DD is still in nursery the 3 days I would have been in work. So I only have 2 days on my own with her, and she's not even a very active child - just wants to sit playing Sylvanian families with me all day long. And I still can't cope! I have no energy, just feel totally drained and nauseous, and can't handle sitting on the floor playing for hours and hours. I just want to die on the sofa quietly while she watches peppa pig, so we've been doing that a lot. Yesterday she sat there patting me and feeding me bits of breadsticks going 'eat these mummy, you feel better than, DD look after you'. I feel like such a useless mother atm. But I think you just have to do whatever you can to survive. Could you get her some cheap new toys that she might get engrossed in for a bit and just play with on her own, like some second hand happyland or something?

captainproton Mon 19-Oct-15 10:44:12

I have a 2 and 3 year old, now I am 24 weeks the tiredness and sickness has worn off a bit. It's a lot easier once you get out of that first trimester, unless you are unlucky like I was last time and have morning sickness right until the end.

I found that if I forced myself out in the morning, even if to walk to the shop, go to the library, anything then my two would have a nap in the afternoon and I could curl up next to the youngest on my bed and nap too.

It meant they went to bed a bit later but DH agreed to take over the evening shift when he got home and do bath, teeth, stories etc whilst I went to bed again.

My two are like springer spaniels and they need to get out of the house at least once a day otherwise we all end up crawling up the walls and they turn our home into a demolition site.

Sighing Mon 19-Oct-15 10:47:29

I was there (around 8 years ago) with DC1 & DC2. My DC1 had a fair few days of low input from me. Honestly, she was fine and still is. I frequently ended up in my bed with her at the end of her day as I'd read until we both fell asleep (at 7 from post bath together). I would sit in the garden with her running around "planting" or we'd "count rain drops" on the window behind the sofa. We also did a lot of drawing/ colouring in.

Chloeisobelle21 Mon 19-Oct-15 10:51:09

Wax I hope you feel better soon, it's bloody miserable isn't it. im only 11 weeks so I hope it doesn't last too long, it's been over a month and I'm slowly going crazy...
My daughter is playing by herself a lot, I bought her some new duplo and a duplo car which she loves at the moment, she's playing with those while I'm sofa dying haha. I've really got to get up and shower and wash my hair but it's so much effort. I'm a single mum so I don't get help other than the odd family member popping in. Hope this all goes soon for all of us.

Chloeisobelle21 Mon 19-Oct-15 10:51:57

I could force myself out but I look like the walking dead haha, I haven't plucked my eyebrows in over a month!

Iammad Mon 19-Oct-15 11:54:13

And as a pp have said the benefits of having a sibling will outweigh the not going out for a while.
Serously it will not damage her, just talk to her, play with her.
I think we think our children need to be entertained all the time, I think its good to have a balance, and let them play on there own sometimes to gain some independence.
Hopefully your start feeling better soon, just do what you can and take it easy.

notsoold Mon 19-Oct-15 12:33:57

Op I could have written your post!!! Unable to go out as too much nausea and vomiting. So tv for now unfortunately. But it will get better soon (I hope)

captainproton Mon 19-Oct-15 13:43:07

Chloeisobelle21 - Oh god I am past caring what I look like these days. Sometimes I catch myself in the mirror and recoil in horror!

nuttybananas Mon 19-Oct-15 13:48:03

ahhhh my people! am about 6-7 weeks with a 2 year old and I feel so rotten! just want to lie on sofa and quietly moan as feeling nauseous most of the time at the moment while DD is trying to get me to join in!
i seem to 'feel' pregrant so much quicker this time around - the sickness and tiredness... Have a secret fear that it's twins because it feels so much worse...

LBOCS2 Mon 19-Oct-15 13:58:32

I felt much worse this time around too nutty. I think it's because having a toddler as well is just so relentless so you don't get the 'down' time to make you feel better. Definitely only one here though smile

DD goes to nursery full time so they're entertaining her for me; it's all I can do to stop her from jumping on my stomach from the back of the sofa to be honest.

Chloeisobelle21 Mon 19-Oct-15 16:06:54

Wish mine went to nursery at the moment, I managed to have a 40 min nap while she napped earlier, now it's back to destroying the living room until dinner. Which is another issue, her diet is terrible because I can't bare to cook! It's more fish fingers and chips right now

MamaDuckling Mon 19-Oct-15 16:10:48

Oh it's so much harder with a toddler...

LBOCS2 Mon 19-Oct-15 16:44:17

My DD doesn't nap any more sad it makes me extremely sad, I miss them so much. I've taken it up recently (napping) only I can't really do it when I have her on my own...!

GothicRainbow Mon 19-Oct-15 16:52:39

Completely feel your pain!! I honestly thought that once I made it to the second trimester (I'm 17 weeks) that I would feel better. The sickness has gone thankfully but I'm still exhausted.

My DS is 2.5 and literally does not stop moving ALL day! He's very hit and miss with naps too and will only sleep for 45mins max.

We have been relying on the garden a lot, we invested in a slide during the summer and it's been a godsend - lots of time spent on that with me in a deck chair clapping!

When we can manage it I've been getting out in the mornings to the local playgroup, soft play etc as I find it actually less tiring than being at home and the only source of entertainment for DS!!!

I must say though, I'm bloody sick of watching Ben & Holly!!

Chloeisobelle21 Mon 19-Oct-15 17:12:51

I feel like I have a virus or something, I just feel so rubbish. Constant nausea today and with a banging headache ahhh

PeasinPod1 Tue 20-Oct-15 15:39:30

Chloe could've written your post... 10 1/2 weeks here with a 22 month old DS, also feel awful that on my day off and at weekends I spend a lot of time lying on sofa while he runs around/plays with toys next to me...try to force myself to the playground just for a short while but often cant manage it. He really doesn't seem to mind/be suffering at all, but still feel very guilty sad

Duckstar Tue 20-Oct-15 15:46:59

I found pregnancy with DS2 really tough. Was exhausted, had SPD and had a small energetic toddler. I used to go to work for a rest! A lot of CBeebies was watched. I actually found once baby was born I felt a lot better. I had people asking if I was tired and I was like, "no, I can walk, sleep at night (in between feeds) and don't feel like I want to vomit constantly". All I can say is DS1 is absolutely fine. Loves his brother and no issues from having watched a lot of CBeebies!

Reebok Tue 20-Oct-15 15:51:02

Hi all, I can completely relate to this post. I have hyperemesis, on medication, signed off work and still feel like death to the point I can't even cuddle my poor 2 year old dd as she makes me retch. Shes starting to understand mummy is sick and daddy has to take over in evenings/weekends but she does sometimes come up to me, hug me and say dd miss mummy. She only turned two in August. Luckily she's at nursery 5 days a week so gets proper interaction and good nutritious meals as I can't cook and oh is useless. When she is home I'm either laying in bed or on the sofa and I can see she wants to play with me. I feel terrible but hoping it will be short lived as with her my hyperemesis subsided by 16 weeks. Kids are more adaptable than us and it's not forever so if you have to put them on the iPad/in front of the tv for a while, do it. Soon enough they will have a sibling they will love forever and they will forget these few months.

MamaDuckling Tue 20-Oct-15 21:50:28

Good to hear you came through the other side unscathed, Duckstar. I know a few other mums with two who said the second pregnancy was actually the hardest part... That life was easier once they got their body back.

I'm suffering with SPD, vile varicose veins in my nether regions, and generally feel like my entire uterus is about to fall out. I'm 30 weeks so the end is in sight. Poor DS wants to play but I can't get on the floor and simply don't have the energy. We're slipping into bad sleeping habits with him too because I just don't have the determination to keep up the controlled crying we do with him when he goes through a regression. Urgh it's all so tiring.

It will be worth it though... These siblings will soon be running tiot together and all I'll need to do is clear up the ensuing mess... Right??!!

grin

Duckstar Wed 21-Oct-15 16:49:04

Mama it will all be worth it. DS1 and DS2 love each other. They cause absolutely chaos and mess, but they are just so sweet together. When they cause each other to giggle or they give each other big cuddles I am so glad I went through the 7 1/2 months (DS2 was preemie). It can't be too bad I am doing it again (currently 23 weeks with DC3, but I am adamant this is it!)

Chloeisobelle21 Wed 21-Oct-15 20:46:54

I'm 12 weeks now and it's worse not better, aghhhhhhhhh can't deal with it, feel sick all day constantly blurgh shock

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