Partner saying things feel different(3 Posts)
I need some advice and reassurance, I'm 33 weeks pregnant and for the past few weeks my partner has been acting differently with me. We've always been fairly vocal with each other and we've had our disagreements but always come through them. He said today that he feels things are different between us and that there's something wrong, I've suffered with depression during this pregnancy and he's been very supportive but I think that has changed us a lot. His attitude towards me has changed he used to be a happy go lucky character but now he seems grumpy a lot of the time. He's gone off sex, I have as well but my reason is due to feeling uncomfortable. I just want us to be how we used to be, Its so sad because we used to laugh and joke all the time but now all we seem to do is argue
Have you had any help with your depression? Is there a particular reason for your depression during this pregnancy? I don't know what to suggest but given how stressful pregnancy can be, it sounds like a temporary blip. If you could find out what he thinks has changed and what he wants to do to rectify it, that might help. A few sessions at Relate might help. As for sex, some men do go off this during pregnancy.
Could it be that your partner is starting to get apprehensive about the birth and being a dad? So much of the pregnancy process is (rightly) focussed on us that sometimes I think the men just get sidelined as being the ones that have to (again, rightly) run around after us. But their role as a dad is huge and they get very little input on how to be effective and he might be feeling helpless or (wrongly) resenting that you get the attention and sympathy when he is also stressed out.
Just trying to see things from his point of view. Counselling sounds like a good idea if you can get chance to do it - talking through the huge changes and how you both feel about it must surely be helpful. I am halfway through our nct course at the mo and what I have really liked is the way they get the guys involved in stuff. I think it has helped my dh to feel more involved - I don't think he seems all that excited about the baby but I love to see him engaging with other dads at the course and getting stuck in (he's really not a 'joiny-in' kind of guy), so it gives me hope!
It's a difficult time for couples, I really hope you can find a way to talk to each other about how you feel
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