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second pregnancy and feeling low

(4 Posts)
HarrysMummy17 Wed 14-Oct-15 22:24:38

Hi, I'm currently pregnant with my second child and I'm feeling pretty down.

This pregnancy was planned and wanted but I'm feeling so different to the first pregnancy. I'm not excited like I was with the first. I was forever rubbing my tummy and chatting to baby but this time there's no excitement at all.

I'm currently only 9 weeks so no scan yet. I'm hoping I'll feel a bit better after seeing baby.

I was on antidepressants when I fell pregnant and was told to slowly come off them. I'm guessing this may be a reason for the low feeling.

I'm also worried about my ds. He's a complete mummy's boy and with me 24/7. It will be a huge change for him and I'm feeling quite guilty about turning his world upside down. He will be just over 3 when baby is born.

The midwife is referring me to a pregnancy psychologist but I'm not sure when the appointment will come through.

Any advice or anyone been through similar?

TheABC Wed 14-Oct-15 22:35:22

Hi Op

No real advice, but I am in the same boat (10 weeks pregnant with a 2.5 year old) and feeling the same way. I think it is a combination of tiredness and hormones, although I am seeing the midwife next week to rule out antenatal depression. For myself and DH, it's also the awareness of just how much work lies ahead, having been through it before. With DC1, we were blissfully ignorant of just how bad the sleep deprivation was!

Be gentle with yourself - it's still early days and you have another 33 weeks to prepare yourself and DS for the new baby. I have gently tried to explain to mine that I am growing a baby and he is now obsessively carrying around a baby doll. So you never know....this could work out! grin

Scattymum101 Wed 14-Oct-15 22:38:17

I felt utterly different when I found out I was expecting dd2. We had two miscarriages before dd1 so I was SOOO ready to be pregnant and a mum and I was so excited and scared and it was all consuming. The pregnancy was the most important thing in my life and i could get lost in it. The second time around dc1 is still the most important thing in the world and you can't be as absorbed in the pregnancy.

Second time was so different. It was planned in that we really wanted a second baby but we were planning on waiting a few more months before trying and then I thought it would take ages again but I fell pregnant after a drunken night being irresponsible with contraception.

I spent the first 10 weeks in shock that it happened so fast and terrified because I'd had an awful time in work and struggled juggling work with being a mum and I felt like I'd almost swung a balance but that it was very precarious. I was terrified about upsetting all the plates I was managing to spin.
Then I felt guilty because I wasn't as excited and I didn't feel a connection straight away.
I felt more connected after the 12 week scan and we found out the gender at 20 weeks and I definitely felt it was more real then and bonded more. I got a bump almost right away with dd1 but I didn't get a bump til almost 25 weeks with dd2 so again it was something less to bond with.

Sorry I'm waffling a bit but just wanted to say I think how you're feeling is very normal. It's a very different experience the second time around.
I had a wonderful pregnancy second time around and the 'perfect' birth with dd2 that I never got with dd1. She's now 8 months and a total character. I have found it harder second time around as she had bad reflux and is generally a more demanding baby but she's fab and I wouldn't change a thing.

You'll be ok but it's a good idea to chat to someone about it all and work out how you're feeling and why xx

HarrysMummy17 Sat 17-Oct-15 22:55:25

Thanks for the replies.
I'm starting to feel worse do will definitely have to speak to someone sad

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