I'm 24wks into my second pregnancy and it basically seems taboo to say 'I don't like being pregnant' and I feel compelled, before going any further, to make it clear how desired and loved this baby already is and how grateful I am to my fertility and how blessed I feel to be able to procreate as I wish.
It's just that I hate pregnancy and find it mentally and physically exhausting.
Physically:
My back hurts
I have SPD
I can't get comfortable ever, especially at work
Headaches
Weight gain: I stopped my 20 a day habit and also love food and this has made me zoom from size 12 to 16 already
Breathlessness
All clothes bar maternity leggings are uncomfortable.
My nose is swollen and massive
My face is puffy
I have awful varicose veins
I have painful piles.
Both shoulders hurt really badly from not sleeping on my back
Spots: I have bacne.
My nipples are insanely sensitive and hurt in the shower.
Mentally:
I seem to be behaving irrationally according to my close family, as such, I currently don't trust my instincts at all. If I feel sad, angry, frustrated or tearful my first response is 'you shouldn't really feel like that, it's just your hormones'. It is incredibly draining to be constantly second guessing myself and my confidence is at an all-time low. I have to rely on my husband to tell me if what I feel is 'right'. Which is terrifying. He is definitely not always right and I'm sure sometimes my emotions are correct.
Sleepless nights: makes the days so hard
Mum guilt: being unable to play with my toddler because I am so exhausted
Irritability and lack of patience with everyone/thing
Paranoia seems to be a new one and I don't think anybody likes me.
I'm not sure if I've got depression or if these hormones just do not agree with me. I felt exactly the same in my first pregnancy and for the 18 months afterwards when I was breast feeding.
So, please do let me know if I'm not alone in feeling this way? If nobody agrees with me or thinks I do sound depressed I am going to the doctors. I can't trust myself to gauge if it's depression.
I definitely love my growing baby. I definitely don't want any more children!!
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Is anybody else finding this hard?
23 replies
1wokeuplikethis · 06/10/2015 11:19
OP posts:
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