Things no one tells you about pregnancy...

[Zamaz]

Was thinking in the car this morning about stuff no-one ever told me about being pregnant, which I am discovering for myself as the weeks go on! I know everyone's different, but here are some of my observations, in no particular order:

• Bumps (mine at least) take ages longer to 'properly' appear (i.e. other people congratulating you, rather than just assuming you've piled on the pounds) than I thought.
  
• A bra which fits today will not fit tomorrow. Or possibly ever again.
  
• More body hair, dammit.
  
• Nice strong nails (very welcome!)
  
• My ahem lady parts look totally different, even though I've not squeezed anything out of them yet!
  
• Baby brain really is a thing. A terrible thing.
  

Am really interested to know what others would add to the list?!

[Every1KnowsJeffHesUsuallyACunt]

Haemorrhoids! Lordy

[TillITookAnArrowToTheKnee]

• How quickly your boobs will grow (5 cup sizes in first tri alone every time here!)
  

• UTIs and thrush when pregnant make you feel like you've been kicked squarely in the fan fan very, very hard.
  

-PGP (4th pregnancy, 19 weeks in, first time I've had it and I'm so achey)

-People feel like they have the right to molest your stomach, especially total strangers.

[Reebok]

I'm in my second pregnancy so I know more than the first time but if I think about their first, I wish I had known:

• that morning sickness is a myth...if you're as unlucky as me, you will feel sick/vomit all morning, day and night (I have hyperemesis)
  

• that my body will ache all night before I even gain my bump
  

• that I will feel super tired but be unable to sleep for 9 months!
  

• that every little twinge will freak me out
  

• that pregnancy is the hardest thing I would ever do and it can make you lose complete control of your body, emotions and self.
  

-

[Cherryblossomsinspring]

Nobody tells you how unexciting is can be when it actually happens. Or even how overwhelming and depressing it can be even when you desperately wanted it. I wish I could be excited and hug myself about it like some women do but I never seem to react like that for some reason. So I focus on how excited I was at the thought of it before it happened and don't worry too much about being so numb during the actual 9 months.

[wonkylegs]

Wind - no one ever told me how windy I would get, it was quite a shock as I was never like that before.
How tired I'd be even from the start.
How scary it can be

[sophiaslullaby]

No one told me sickness could come back in the 3rd trimester.

[Thelushinthepub]

How painful the early stretching etc is.

How your entire bump can move in the bath (or out of the bath!)

[99percentchocolate]

How utterly crap you will feel for the whole nine months

[MrsGentlyBenevolent]

I concur with the gas and the PGP. Especially the latter, I'm nearly 39 weeks and in so much pain that I'm housebound (next time I leave will either be for midwife or (please God) hosptial to give birth).

The heartburn (like drinking hard spirits straight, but without the fun of getting drunk. Really thought I was going to breathe fire the other night)

How high up your ribs a baby can kick (swear I have a baby giraffe in there)

How your BP can drop in a second and you end up making a fool of yourself in random shops by being the fussy cow who needs to sit down

How invisible you become especially on transport, despite feeling like the largest person in any social situation.

How attached you get to the bump, even though I'm quite done being pregnant.

[MI6Agent]

That, no matter how much you go through to get pregnant in the first place, tiredness and morning all day sickness/nausea makes you occasionally feel like it isn't worth it.

It took me a while to get over the guilt at my not enjoying the first 17 weeks.

And, people are protective and attracted to pregnant women. No matter whether your face has a "fuck off" tatoo on your forehead, people approach you and want to look out for you. It was nice but not all the time, I'm pregnant and not the first person in the world to be, leave me alone!

[BexusSugarush]

I was obsessively worried about getting pregnant, that I thought I'd at least accept it when I got the positive result. But every moment of this pregnancy has been filled with sheer terror that something has gone wrong, or something will go wrong. Every pain, ache, lack of movement, I am terrified that something is wrong, even though I have a very healthy little 26-week baby inside of me. Reassuring comments do not make this fear go away.

[MI6Agent]

I can recommend a book by Maggie Howel, call Birth Preperation bexus. It helped me become less anxious to the point I was horizontal about the pregnancy within 2 weeks of reading it. I had been through Ivf and had the same feelings as you.
All the best with your pregnancy

[tinyme135]

I knew you could get heartburn but how bad it actually can get. I was on a&e thinking I had a problem with the bump to find out it was really bad indigestion :S my bad.

[NorahM]

Yeah no one talks about haemorrhoids. This is my third pregnancy, I avoided them with the previous two, but now at 38 weeks, I just got one last weekend. Just ONE small pea sized one and it's already a pain to deal with. Ladies who have more have my utmost sympathy.

[NoArmaniNoPunani]

Vaginal discharge. Why does my body need to produce so much?

[Junosmum]

How windy and bloated I would get.
How boring it can be!

[Junosmum]

The mucus. My nose, my lady parts, even my ears. All mucus.

[MingZillas]

yes definitely the farts! I get them bad anyway but I'd have combusted if you lit a match near me when I was up the duff.

[Brummiegirl15]

Oh yes

The farting, the discharge - there is so much I could literally swim in it.

The aching, at 21 weeks!!! How will I cope for other 19?

The sheer terror and fear and how scared I am. I'm not enjoying being pregnant, I'm miserable and scared and not interested about hearing what a wonderful thing birth is.

It's a means to an end

[Sunshineandsilverbirch]

The dreams!!!!

I had to wake my DH up on a regular basis to comfort me after upsetting dreams.

[Stylingwax]

Ditto on the dreams. Absolutely fucking awful.

[whatlifestylechoice]

Yy to the boringness! And the tiredness. My day has compressed into about twelve hours, eight f which I'm working for. I'm too tired to do anything very exciting for the other four hours, and I can't even have a drink to brighten up my short evening.

Also, headaches. This may be the longest period of my life I've been off alcohol for. So why do I wake up every morning feeling hungover?

Also, also, why are onions suddenly making me blub, when I ever had a problem cutting them before?

[cloudjumper]

Constipation. That I will not go for up to a week, only to then have to go through a birth-like effort to produce some rabbit droppings.

Wind and indigestion. Certain things will just make me emit gas in great quantities from both ends.

Upper back ache! It's killing me - have booked a massage this weekend, but can't afford that often enough. My upper back just seizes up, regardless of what I have been doing.

How difficult it is to find maternity clothes and that there are hardly any shops who stock any, it's all bloody online!

It is so not glamorous.

[RockerMummy184]

The complete and utter debilitating exhaustion that gets sooo bad it stops you sleeping! how does that work?!

When you do finally get to sleep, the highly amusing and vivid dreams that then mutate into terrifying nightmares.

Not being in control of your own bladder. (Have my waters gone or have I pissed myself....again?) Similarly, the bowel movement mystery....will I be chronically constipated this week or am I going to struggle to get to the loo in time without shitting myself?!

Burst blood vessels everywhere. My 2yo DS is fascinated! 'Look...little spiders mummy!'

[JassyRadlett]

The fact that you may, on occasion, vomit so hard that you fart enormously at the same time.

And conversely, vomiting whenever you have to do an even slightly challenging poo.

Hyperemesis is v v glamorous.