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When to tell your children another is on the way?

(9 Posts)
Sezramum Tue 15-Sep-15 10:15:32

I am 8 1/2 weeks and have had an early scan showing everything to be fine so far.

My DC are 16, 12 and 9 (big age gap, I know!) and I am wondering when best to tell them. My pregnancies with my three were all straight forward and I basically told the world at 5 weeks each time.

I am now 43 and had a MC last November at 7 weeks so I am feeling much less confident than in my previous pregnancies.

My eldest two DDs are not daft and I am already getting bigger (due to excessive eating to get rid of constant nausea!) so I am not sure how long I can keep it quiet.

Any experience or advice on when best to tell your children gratefully received! smile

BigBroIsWatching Tue 15-Sep-15 10:19:23

I am also 8 weeks and have two children, 6 and 4. I also have past experiences of MMC.

From my past experience, I told people early on the had to break bad news. It felt awful to be honest!
I've also had an early scan this time round. But even so, I'd rather wait until after 12 weeks. Knowing my kids, they'd tell their teacher and friends, who'd then tell their parents etc Etc grin

So we are waiting! Even though it's hard what with the sickness!!

TealCarpet Tue 15-Sep-15 12:45:47

I waited until about 13 weeks but that's for several reasons that probably don't apply to you (DD1 is 4, so would announce it to the world, but also be very very upset/not fully understand if anything bad happened). I couldn't hold off any longer than 13 weeks though as I was really starting to show (and she'd already asked if I had a baby in my tummy!) and wanted to tell other people and wanted DDs to know first.

If you would tell your elder two (or all of them) anyway if anything were to happen then you might as well tell them now? You could always share the happy news but stress that it's still relatively early days so you're keeping it under wraps for now?

helensburgh Tue 15-Sep-15 15:14:05

hi, Im 7 weeks and have an 11 and 6 year old and like you its difficult due to nausea, tiredness, inability to cook etc etc.

im holding off till the 12 week scan but its difficult as im expanding due to constant carb munching ad sweet eating.

Hairballs Wed 16-Sep-15 09:58:23

I told our 4yo DS after the 12 week scan. I was cautious after a previous miscarriage, but then it's easier to hide pregnancy from a four year old.

MrsBartlettforthewin Wed 16-Sep-15 16:31:08

Told DD about DS after the 12 week scan she was 4 at the time and we knew she wouldn't be able to keep it quiet any earlier than that. Did the same this time with DC3 didn't tell DD who is now 6 until after the scan but this time before we had told any extended family as felt we could trust her to wait to tell people a few days until we saw them all at a family get together. Also told DS about DC3 at the same time but for some reason he didn't seem to care/understand possibly as he was only 16 months at the time grin

Sighing Wed 16-Sep-15 19:10:24

Due to my experiences of mc / mmc /scans etc I am not yet telling my DC (7 and 9). I am waiting for 20 weeks minimum, I can see it would be trickier with teens. 12 weeks sees a significant lowering of risk, that's not so far away?

Junosmum Wed 16-Sep-15 21:21:10

I'd certainly tell your older 2. FWIW my mum always told me almost immediately, and I witnessed 2 miscarriages age 6 and 12 (not the blood and stuff I hasten to add) and it didn't traumatize me, I felt better knowing what was happening.

Sezramum Wed 16-Sep-15 22:14:44

Thank you all. It is really useful to have your thoughts.

The weird thing is I cant remember when I told my two DDs that I was expecting DS! The eldest would have been 7 at the time. I do remember it prompted an earlier than planned chat about how babies are made. Only a very simple version though!

Helensburgh you sound just like me! I wonder how ling we will be able to last?

MrsBartlett Love your story about DS at 16 months! smile

I am going to try and hold out to the 12 week scan if I can. I think I have decided to take each week as it happens and decide from there. If I am getting too fat I might tell them earlier. The reassurance form the 12 week scan will obviously make me feel happier about telling them the news.

Has anyone not had a positive reaction when telling siblings?

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