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Don't know what to do

(45 Posts)
stepup2003 Mon 14-Sep-15 18:47:44

Hello. So I'm 21 and whilst my partner and I aren't actively trying for a baby, we wouldn't mind becoming parents. We use the pull out method and have done for a year now. He hasn't finished inside me, however people have warned me about pre-cum (sorry tmi). So with all that in mind (sorry!) I am now 2 days late for my period, been rather nauseous and I haven't slept properly for a week or so, which makes me extremely exhausted. I've been wearing my pads just in case for the past 3 days, and today I've noticed a small brown bit of discharge and nothing else. I had my normal menstrual symptoms until today and now I feel nothing (which isn't normal). I don't know what to do because I'm not sure if I am pregnant, but this is very unusual for me. Anyone else experienced this?

lauraa4 Mon 14-Sep-15 18:52:33

I'm not even going to bother to tell you the 'pull out' method is completely idiotic and stupid, as you have obviously been told that by other people. Not sure why you didn't listen to them.

If you are two days late the only way to know is to do a test. No one on here can guarantee whether you are pregnant or not, everyone has different symptoms. The likelihood is that there is a very strong possibility you are.

CultureSucksDownWords Mon 14-Sep-15 18:55:34

Yep, just do a test. Wasting any mental energy on it before you know exactly what's what is pointless.

irie Mon 14-Sep-15 19:00:53

Pee on a stick. Do you want to be pregnant?

QueenMolotov Mon 14-Sep-15 19:12:04

The withdrawal method is either as effective or more as condoms ^if used correctly^: that is, your partner can control the timing of his orgasm and pulls out before he ejaculates. Also, ejaculate can contain semen if you have sex and he cums again without urinating inbetween.

My DH and I have been doing this for over 3y and I haven't got pg.

That said, we wouldn't mind if I got pg again. Once we're sure we don't want anymore children, I wouldn't rely upon this method, especially at times I know I'm likely to be fertile.

The brown discharge you're having could be usual pre-menstrual discharge. You might be noticing it more because you think you might be pg, so you're symptom spotting. The only thing to do is POAS.

NerrSnerr Mon 14-Sep-15 19:16:30

You need to do a test. No point in or tying until you know for sure.

chopsface Mon 14-Sep-15 19:43:08

Let us know how you get on with a test!

stepup2003 Mon 14-Sep-15 19:44:48

@Lauraa4 I know it's not a good idea if you're not ready for a baby, but my partner and I are both in a position that if it were to happen, we'd be extremely happy. We have our own place, been together a while and are stable. It's not like I'm actively ignoring everyone's warnings because I'm naive. I've heard many people who try for a baby for months and don't get pregnant. We've both decided that instead of trying, we should do what we do, and if it happens, then that's great. If it doesn't, it doesn't and we have lots of time for it to happen again in the future.

stepup2003 Mon 14-Sep-15 19:45:59

Might try to do a test tomorrow if I don't get anything by then. I'll let you guys know!

spandau1980 Mon 14-Sep-15 20:14:27

Think some ppl are a little harsh
If you are congrats xx do a test though I wanna know now lol

lauraa4 Mon 14-Sep-15 20:21:55

stepup that's fair enough, if you would be happy either way then hopefully you will get some good news when you do a test.

WombOfOnesOwn Mon 14-Sep-15 22:48:54

Used properly, withdrawal is as effective as condoms--no joke! Don't let people guilt you about that.

stepup2003 Tue 15-Sep-15 00:03:20

The only thing that it's bad for is STDs etc. I only use withdrawal with my current partner as we've been together for a long time so I know he has no STDs and if we were to get pregnant, we'd be happy.

Update: Got a tiny amount of blood in my pad. Very bright pink and literally just a blob. Thinking about leaving it until tomorrow and getting a test. Could be a very weird period (normally in doubled over in agony and needing to change every hour). I'll update more tomorrow smile

newbian Tue 15-Sep-15 07:36:42

OP I think the reason people had some of the reactions they did is the name of the thread "Don't know what to do" doesn't sound like the view of someone who is OK getting pregnant. Slightly confusing.

TheUnwillingNarcheska Tue 15-Sep-15 07:46:00

I agree the thread title suggests a possible pregnancy is bad timing or a very new relationship.

I'd still POAS though just to put my mind at rest and because you need to start prenatal vitamins if you are pregnant.

WhatTheJeffHasGoneOnHere Tue 15-Sep-15 08:19:48

If you're two days late then you can do a test. I always found first response accurate.

spandau1980 Tue 15-Sep-15 09:38:50

They're only a quid
Buy a test ...

stepup2003 Tue 15-Sep-15 11:10:09

I suppose the title didn't help. I was more thinking I don't know what to do, either test now or wait a little longer. My partner and I had a false alarm a while ago and we tested straight away and it was negative. I was told it was too early to tell and to go to my GP a week or so later. It was so awful waiting that week as my partner and I were really looking forward to the idea of having a baby. Turned out my periods were extremely late due to stress. That's why I wasn't sure what to do. The only reason why I thought there could be a chance was because I have no symptoms of my period and had a bit of brown discharge and a small amount of blood so I wasn't sure what was going on. I'm going to test today and see what's going on. Trying not to get my hopes up!

WhatTheJeffHasGoneOnHere Tue 15-Sep-15 15:49:00

Best to test first thing in the morning with first wee of the day.

LilyRose16 Wed 16-Sep-15 17:19:31

Laura, i completely disagree, the withdrawal method is neither stupid or idiotic! If you do it properly it is completely fine. Myself and DH have done this for 2 years then when we started 'trying' i got pregnant straight away. Therefore proving its a reliable form of contraception.

If it doesnt work for some people it means they're not doing it properly!

To the poster, only way to know for sure is buy a test, will put your mind at rest.

stepup2003 Thu 17-Sep-15 22:33:54

Okay, this is a bit of a weird one. I started bleeding Monday night, but it was only a bit of blood. Extremely light for someone who suffers from incredibly heavy periods. I had a normal period on Tuesday so I assumed I wasn't pregnant. Yesterday was a weird day as all I had was slight brown discharge and today I have absolutely nothing. So I've technically had one day of a normal period. I usually last 5 days. I guess maybe it's due to stress or something? I guess I wasn't pregnant as I was bleeding a lot on the Tuesday.

CultureSucksDownWords Thu 17-Sep-15 22:56:11

I would maybe get some cheapy tests and do one just to check what's happening. Anything else is just second guessing.

Focusfocus Fri 18-Sep-15 03:37:53

I fail to comprehend these threads.

What is stopping you from buying a stick to pee on?

How on earth can strangers on the internet (or even you yourself) guess whether you are pregnant or not?

Why would you want people to guess?

But really - the first question is vital. What on earth stands between you and a pee stick?

stepup2003 Fri 18-Sep-15 12:22:37

Because I didn't know if I was being ridiculous or not. I've had a false alarm before and I was buying tests, visiting my GP etc. and basically they made me feel like I was being stupid. My partner and I got excited at the thought and it actually made us quite disappointed when we found out we weren't expecting. All I needed is a bit of advice and to see if this has happened to other people seeing as I have no one to talk to in rl.

CultureSucksDownWords Fri 18-Sep-15 13:34:36

Then I would buy the cheapest tests you can buy, and then use them at home if you think you might be pregnant i.e. if your period is late. If that test is negative then wait another week and test again if your period still hasn't shown up. There's no need to go to the GP until you've got a home pregnancy test positive, or you have negative tests and your period is very very late (more than a couple of weeks).

Are you tracking your cycle? I use an app on my phone which makes it easier, and tells you your likely ovulation days.

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