baby 14weeks old... pregnant again!(14 Posts)
Hi, first of all I'd like to explain that my partner and I always wanted our children close in age. We were thinking maybe a two year age gap would be perfect. It took a long time to conceive our daughter so we weren't expecting it to happen this quickly!
Our daughter is now 14 weeks old. I'm pregnant again. Roughly around 5 weeks gone. I'm so over the moon about this but I can't shake the feeling of guilt. I feel guilty that neither of my children will have 100% my attention through their most vital years.
I was just wondering if any other mummies have two or more children with a close age gap and how did you find it? I want the brutal truth. Any advice ranging from sibling rivalry, double buggies, feeding time, lack of sleep etc etc. Literally any insight at all to what life is like with two young ones would be great!
They will be 11 months apart :-)
Thank you xx
Mine will be 13 months apart in about a month or so, depending on when I give birth. So no advice on how it works yet!
Buying 2 of everything is a bit of a pain and I struggle to find a double buggy I like or can lift, also found being pregnant harder - morning sickness and nappies, 3rd trimester with a mobile baby and no time to rest. Plus as my body hadn't fully recovered my anaemia and muscle pain was worse.
Oh and people can be very judgey but who cares!
BUT I'm hoping it'll pay off when they are older and into similar things
Congratulations OP! I'm about to do a 17 month gap so not quite as full-on as yours.
I know it's going to be hard work but I'm really looking forward to it. I also have a 14 year old so I have a bit of perspective on how fleeting the early years are and I just want to cherish every moment!
I have a 14 month gap. I can't lie, the first year was incredibly tough. Exhausting physically. Tough on my relationship. But every year it has got easier and the kids have been terrific buddies to one another. I had some good friends who I'd meet up with at playgroups and playgrounds who would help to keep an eye on the older one who was toddling around.
It is now fine, and I wouldn't want it any other way. Good luck.
Just over a year gap here. Found it fine tbh. Didn't even get a double pram or extra cot etc ( mine both co slept 3+ years, and just put one in a sling). They were never jealous of each other as never remembered life without the other.
Congratulations! It sounds as though you are pleased- and at least you get it out of the way all at once. Your babies won't know any different!
I think people get too hung up on this individual attention thing, personally. You can still do one on one stuff with them while your partner or family look after the other.
Pleased for you! I should have taken the plunge myself, I never got round to it and with DS now nearly 17, I don't suppose I will now! X
I'm expecting in dec and will have a20month age gap, and I feel the same too. I love being able to give all my time to my dd, and I'm not going lie I do wish we had waited until dd was around 3, just so we can enjoy her first but baby's on the way now so know going back I'm sure they will grow up really close and thank me one day
Wow! Will they be in the same year at school? That will be a bit odd if it timed like that? But congratulations, they'll be lovely together.
I can't speak from experience as a mum but I am the product (now 34 and preggers myself with twins) of a very similar situation. I'm the oldest of 2 and my sister and I are 10 months and 27 days apart.
From discussions I've had with my mum as an adult she was shocked, but it wasn't a complete surprise. She was told that her greatest chance of having a second baby was to get pregnant soon after the first because she had such difficulty getting pregnant in the first place, she just never expected it to literally happen 6 weeks after I was born.
So how did she cope? probably not well at times, but I think that can probably be said for many new mums. But, as our family grew it became quite apparent that the fact that my sis and i are so close in age was actually very advantageous. We were never in the same year at school though, we could have been, but I'm pretty sure my parents and school administrators took great lengths to make sure we weren't. I started school quite young and there were girls in my sister's year who were actually born in the same week as me but I was a year above.
Support from family was key, and this was especially important when one of us was ill thru the first few years. Mum did get her tubes tied as soon as my sis was born and I suspect she's pretty happy she stopped at 2!
We've a 16 month gap the older one started nursery at 12months and goes every morning so get a good break when dc2 takes her morning nap.
We've a mountain buggy double which we absolutely need as dc1 only started walking a few weeks before 2 was born and I had bad spd so slings were ruled out. 2 has a much looser routine than 1 at the same age but they have shared a room and gone to bed at the same time from around five months.
I have 2 DD's with a 12 month to the day age gap, they are now just over 1.5 and 2.5
It took a little while to get used to juggling two in the beginning, DD1 wasn't walking yet and was still only a baby herself but it does get easier and now they are the best of friends, looking back I wouldn't have it any other way!
One thing I found which was an absolute life saver was a baby chair that was off floor level so big sis couldn't give extra
suffocating snuggley cuddles if I had to leave the room quickly.
Good luck with your pregnancy
Thank you all for your replies. I'm in the UK and here the cut off for school years is in September so they will not be in the same school year. My daughter was born in June and the next will be born in May (roughly). I'm very nervous but thinking ahead ten years I think it will be worth it when they grow up to be close :-) thank you everyone xx
Yes mine have now both started school and are the best of friends!
I know sisters 10 months apart! They are best friends and closer than any siblings I've ever known. They have often been at similar developmental stages at the same time. The older one has no recollection of life before her sister was born and there is virtually no sibling rivalry. Their closeness as sisters is because of their closeness in age, not despite it.
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