Help - do I go for this job??

[Daphnedolittle]

Hey mumsnetters,

I'm in desperate need of advice from people who might have been in a similar situation.

I have applied for a new role at work, a promotion. The role would be an 8-10k pay rise managing a large team. I was encouraged to apply by the guy interviewing so think I would be in with a good chance.

My interview will be next week, but I found out last week (after applying) that I'm now 5 weeks pregnant.
My role at the moment is decently paid, I enjoy it and it's fairly autonomous. I don't manage anyone and it's quite analytical, I could come back part time potentially or reduce my hours, it's not stress free but it's manageable.
This new role would be overseeing a new team of 13 people, very challenging, lots of change and I doubt I would ever be able to work part time. I prefer what I do now, but the extra money would come really handy.

We don't NEED the money but we are by no means we'll off.

Has anyone else been in a similar position?
Did having your first baby change you?
What was your priority after coming back?
I've always been ambitious but think that might change when I have a little one at home, and my focus will be there.
The thought of managing a large team scares me, but equally turning down so much money is hard to justify.

Sorry that's so long, any advice or help would be appreciated.

[KatyN]

I was in a similar position, my boss announced he was leaving in the same meeting when I said I was pregnant. He left about a month before me. There was only one other member of our team and I was more experienced than him.
I didn't apply for the manager post as I decided it wasn't the right time for me to take additional responsibility. I'm not hugely career motivated and wanted to return to work part time. It was a bit harsh when I did return to work to be managed by someone with less experience but I got over it!!!
I would consider the change in stress levels and whether you want that with a new baby. If you are hoping to have more children consider that too.
You don't have to tell the interviewer why you haven't applied until a few months down the line!!!

Kxx

[Daphnedolittle]

Thanks for replying Katy!

I think my biggest fear is if I get the job and go on maternity, someone will be stepping into my role who desperately wants the job. The thought of coming back and knocking that person down would be really hard and I'm sure my life would be made hell in the process, as I've seen it happen before.

It's so hard! I feel like worrying about this is clouding my excitement over the pregnancy

[CityDweller]

I would, but I'm pretty career oriented and anyway DH has always done most of the childminder drop-off/ pick-ups and picked up the slack when DC been unable to attend (illness, etc) as he works 15 mins away, whereas I have a 90-min commute. Also, we've always had the agreement that my career takes priority over his (for various reasons).

However, having said all that, the first few months back at work after DC1 (I went back after 8 months) were challenging. You're balancing lots of things, DC often get ill a lot when they start childcare as they're exposed to lots of germs all of a sudden. I also hadn't really taken into account things like a decent settling in period. And regardless of the fact that DH does the lion's share of the parenting, my career progression has still taken a hit - due to general exhaustion, not being able to work as late as I used to, not working on weekends, etc.

Anyway, I would apply for it if I were you. Partly because who knows what will happen with your pregnancy. Hopefully it will be smooth sailing, but until you're past 12/13 weeks the risks are higher...

[Junosmum]

Personally I'd go for it. You may not get it, and if you do you can make the decision then. It gives you more time to consider it and it's a nice boost to your confidence. If you get it you can always say 'I've since found out I'm pregnant and don't feel I could give the job my all at this time'.

Plus, you don't know what may happen, the future isn't set in stone.

[Daphnedolittle]

Thanks ladies, very helpful advice.

[cloudjumper]

Go for it. You don't know what will happen, you don't know how you will feel, but if you do get offered the position, you can always re-consider and step back from it.
You might enjoy the role so much that it might make it easier for you to come back to work after maternity leave - there is nothing worse than going back to a job that you don't enjoy. Yes, your focus does shift, but it doesn't necessarily mean that you won't want to work. Your work might agree to a phased return, might let you work flexible hours etc. - however, I'd say you can cross that bridge when you get to it.

[saivartelija]

You haven't mentioned much about your partner, but did you know you can now legally share the 1 year leave after you have a baby? It is possible for the mum to go back to work, eg after 6 months leave, and her partner can then take 6 months off their work to look after the baby, which can mean that the mum's return to work is much simpler since baby doesn't have to start childminder or nursery at the same time. It won't be for every couple, but I'm just pointing out that you don't have to take 9/12 months off.

I think you should keep pursuing the job for the moment, and see what happens. You said your biggest fear would be 'taking the job away' from whoever covered you during maternity leave, and I think it would be a pretty unusual situation for that to go so wrong...so if that is your biggest fear, you should definitely go for it!

[Daphnedolittle]

I think I would want to take a full year maternity. Whilst it's something my partner could request, I don't think his company would be at all receptive to the idea, his career is very technical and it would be detrimental to step away (science type job) My company on the other hand offer an excellent maternity leave and I want to make the most of that year, or at least 9 months with my baby that I won't get again.
Thanks for the advice though I can see that it would work well for some couples.

The other thing holding me back is that I enjoy my current role, Im quite a shy person and the thought of managing a large team is very intimidating. The man interviewing has encouraged me as he used to work with me. I think he's concerned about the change we will have to manage (whole team restructure) and wants someone familiar and hardworking to offload on. If this job wasn't a payrise and promotion I wouldn't touch it with a barge pole, the role itself doesn't appeal to me.

[Junosmum]

If role doesn't appeal then I may not go for it, if your current position is secure.