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Sex failure!

(20 Posts)
AmiL123 Mon 17-Aug-15 22:10:08

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mummyneedinganswers Mon 17-Aug-15 22:13:10

I was able to has sex until 21 weeks as it then became uncomfortable and painful. Don't force yourself if you don't feel up for it. X

WhatILoved Tue 18-Aug-15 06:29:32

Don't worry I didn't feel like it for first 16 weeks due to nausea in my last pregnancy and then when my bump started to appear it was a complete turn off for my husband ( not because I was fat but because he felt like the baby was already in the room!) this pregnancy so far at 12 weeks very similar. You have the rest of your lives to make up for it x

Brummiegirl15 Tue 18-Aug-15 07:17:49

I'm on a sex ban from midwife until post 20 wks due to previous miscarriages and my god I miss sex.

Worried though I'm going to get to 20 wks (I'm currently 16 wks) and feel to uncomfortable / not up to it!!!

sizethree Tue 18-Aug-15 07:20:14

I'm 29 weeks and not had sex since conception. Honestly because I'm too damned terrified as I've suffered from recurrent miscarriages, so I don't want anything poking around up there!
DH is being brilliant and although he's not put off one bit and is adoringly mesmerised by this bump and general changing of my body, there is other ways to 'attend' to things.
But the moment I get to full term the sex will return with avengence to encourage this baby out!

contractor6 Tue 18-Aug-15 07:31:15

We had sex for first time since conception at 20 weeks, am 36weeks now and only just getting mojo back

BertrandRussell Tue 18-Aug-15 07:34:44

"I know lube will help but how can I mentally get myself to want it again?
Husband is being lovely but I feel bad sad"

If you don't want to have sex, then don't! Simple.

leadcrow Tue 18-Aug-15 07:43:05

Have you thought about pleasuring each other in ways others that penetrative sex? My husband is scared to have sex because he's worried about the baby (silly I know!) so we got creative about it smile

Me624 Tue 18-Aug-15 07:53:21

leadcrow my DH is the same, he is being really weird about it. I'm only 11 weeks and have been totally exhausted anyway so haven't minded but I'm a bit shocked that he seems not to want to do it for the entire pregnancy! We've done other stuff a few times ...

tinyme135 Tue 18-Aug-15 07:59:00

My OH wouldn't have sex till I felt comfortable as he didn't want to hurt me or the baby. I made it up to him in other areas. Luckily we're fine now.

Like everyone else has said don't force yourself.

jmac88 Tue 18-Aug-15 08:08:13

Don't feel you should be having sex for him. Sex is for you both to enjoy. If you don't fancy it that is completely fine. As previously said you could try other ways of getting intimate? A massage is definitely going to come in useful with all the aches and pains and your partner gets to feel your beautiful body!

KittyCatKittyCat Tue 18-Aug-15 08:16:41

There might come a point where your hormones shift and you do quite fancy it, or you perhaps don't mind once it's suggested! Then again, there are also times your hormones send you in a bit of a pregnancy rage, it can change over the weeks so don't worry about how things are right now.

BertrandRussell Tue 18-Aug-15 08:36:13

Just be a little bit careful. A lot of the posts on this thread seem to be about men's wants and needs. Starting with the OP- "he's being wonderful, but I feel bad". Responding and being sensitive to your partner's feelings is not "being wonderful" - it's being a decent, loving, thoughtful man. Being pregnant is uncharted territory for both of you. It is incredibly common not to feel like sex during pregnancy - there are sound evolutionary reasons for it.

lauraa4 Tue 18-Aug-15 08:57:36

My OH and I have probably had sex averaging on once a month or even less since I've been pregnant, and I'm now 35 weeks.

He didn't feel comfortable in the beginning and now I don't feel comfortable because I feel unattractive and big! grin

It's not the end of the world, as PP have said there are other ways to be intimate.

MerryMarigold Tue 18-Aug-15 09:05:50

Personally I would force yourself and I think you week start enjoying it after 30 mins or so of foreplay. If you're not enjoying it after a decent amount of time, then don't go the whole hog, but you could help him out as it were. It's a long time for someone to go without if their sex drive is in tact!! Also, after the birth, it may be quite a while before your having any sex of there's any intervention. It took me a year.

Junosmum Tue 18-Aug-15 09:35:26

I'm 18 weeks and OH and I have had sex twice since conception. I'm just not feeling it. He isn't pressuring me but I know he'd like it, it's a an important part of our relationship. Neither time we did it was I 'in the mood' but I did initiate it, and I actually found I really enjoyed it and had missed it and the level of intimacy. Its not increased my desire for it though!

Brummiegirl15 Tue 18-Aug-15 13:10:32

I am still making sure DP gets enjoyment. Not because he expects it, but because I want to.

Im hoping once we get past 20 week scan I can jump him. But at moment I'm exhausted and feel like shit so I can't quite imagine it at moment

April2013 Tue 18-Aug-15 15:18:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Treezees Tue 18-Aug-15 15:49:03

How about a bit of self manipulation? I find it keeps me peppy smile and good for endorphin release.

Then when me and DP do have sex (around twice a month now at 38 weeks...) it's not so out of the blue!

Wish we were having more TBH but so damn uncomfortable getting into a good position now. He's pretty cool about it!

AmiL123 Tue 18-Aug-15 19:43:13

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