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MC @ 10 weeks. Worst day of my life.(46 Posts)
Just looking for a little support, went in for an early scan today, as been having some brown blood for over a week now, and went in and they gave me the " I'm sorry, its bad news " - Instantly killed me.
Ive been told to let it run its cause naturally; as it's the best. I'm just VERY unsure as to what I'm to expect, I was told to prepare for clots, but im just so so scared.
Anyone have any advice?
I'm so sorry you're having to go through this
It is hard, and the wait is horrible. I've had 6 losses, but not late as this. My latest was 8 weeks
Get together some decent pain relief, hot water bottles and heavy/night sanitary pads so you're prepared
Have you a close friend that can sit with you? I appreciated having someone to distract me, and to hold my hand through the worst parts
for you. I had exactly the same happen to me last year, lost the baby at 10 weeks, but it had stopped growing at six. I let nature take its course.
I had some light bleeding then got in the shower a couple of days later and had contraction like cramps and passed the sac which I wrapped up and we then buried in the garden under a rose bush - I know this isn't for everyone but it seemed better than flushing it away/putting it in the bin.
I found that I did talk about miscarrying and so SO many other women I know told me they have been through it too - everyone from colleagues and friends to neighbours I barely speak to. It's so common and not talked about much.
I don't know if you're planning to try again, but I fell pregnant again 8 months later and am now a month away from giving birth so I hope that might be of some comfort.
Be kind to yourself, it can be emotionally very daunting x
I'm sorry for your loss op, miscarriage is a cruel beast (you don't need me to tell you that) I'm not a medical professional, however from experience you don't necessarily have to let things run their course if you don't want to. If you don't want to let things happen naturally you can ask about having surgery or medical management. All 3 options have their pros and cons so it is worth talking to someone at the hospital. I called my epu when I needed to choose and I went in and talked everything through with somebody.
There is a board under 'body and soul' which is for miscarriage and pregnancy loss, everyone on there is super supportive and getting each other through.
I hope you've got people around you in real life for support, make sure you look after yourself. I don't know if I've been any help but so sorry again for your loss.
Oh sjd I'm so sorry - I've been following your posts x
Please stock up on paracetemol (+codiene if you can have it), get a nice hot water bottle and stock up on the ben and jerry's and hot chocolate. - I had a mmc at 11+4 (baby had stopped growing at around 8weeks ish) last year. And even though I was fairly prepared for the news it was still utterly awful. I ended up having d&cs
i don't want to scare you with the details but please don't be frightened. Your body knows best and what to do.
Oh, OP, I'm sorry. A 10-week MC seems so late, because you're thinking of yourself as a quarter of the way through pregnancy and almost into the post-13-weeks 'safe' zone.
I've no idea of your obstetric history, but if it is any comfort, I went on to fall pg a months later and the result was a hulking happy baby.
All the best.
Imnotaslimjim Oh I'm sorry to hear that, I have stocked up on all of those things, and guess it's just a waiting game, but not a game I've enjoyed playing. I have a few friends / family that are supporting me. So won't be alone..
I'm sorry to hear about your loss, but congratulations on your pregnancy & I hope all goes really well for you!!
That sounds beautiful, although I don't think I could bring myself to do that, I know it sounds brutal, but I just don't think I could bear to see / hold it.
I've found that a lot of women go through this, and although that is the case, it doesn't make it any easier.
I'm giving it a go, im trying to be as positive as possible, its becoming very hard.
And also don't give up hope and be kind to yourself. I've suffered horrible losses but there is always light at the end of the tunnel - I wish you peace and that it goes easily for you.
So sorry for your loss SJD this thread helped me through my first one, hope it helps guide you a bit too x
Thankyou all so much for your responses; - I will reply to you all individually, but right now, my brain is such a mess.
but thankyou again.
It doesn't sound brutal at all. I couldn't do it either - I wrapped it in a flannel without touching and DH dealt with it after that. But like I said, it's definitely not for everyone and everyone deals with it differently. I grieved for the child that might have been and I think that's natural so don't be surprised if you get hit with those feelings even after the physical miscarriage has finished. It's totally shit and no one deserves to go through it. I'm glad you have some family and friends to support you.
You don't have to be positive all the time - it's okay to be sad, angry and bereft. It's completely normal.
I'm sure no one's worried about that SJD ... Just take it a minute at a time, and be kind to yourself. Keep talking to us if it helps but feel free to back away too.
I tend to find myself more upset the week afterwards, once all the practicalities are out the way... Watch out for that too x
Oh sjd i'm sorry. I had the same about 5 weeks ago happen to me - at the 10 week mark as well.
I'm sure others wiser than me can give better advice physically if you choose the natural route but having had the erpc it made it much easier as it meant it was dealt with and finished - if you can't handle it carrying on it may be worth seeing if this is an option? I found it helped me as well as my body hadn't clicked baby had died so the surgery meant the pregnancy symptoms stopped which made a huge difference.
Personally as well I found lots of easy films and tv along with hiding away helped distract and calm me in the immediate aftermath - the films to stop me obsessing and the being a hermit meant I could focus on me.
Again you have my sympathies
I had the same at 11 weeks in April.
Just be aware that if you're losing lots of blood you might need to go into a and e, I was filling a pad every 20 mins and had to (ended up with an emergency eprc). Really hope it's over soon and look after yourself. Ask for help if you are concerned. Lots of blood loss can make you feel terrible. It's awful but you will come out the other side. Xxx
Thank you, it wasn't a pleasant experience, but I went on to have 2 healthy PG's
Be kind to yourself, its ok to feel a bit lost. Don't feel you have to be strong. You can be sad, or angry, its totally normal
Hi ladies. another update I was told I had miscarried on Monday - but was sent back the the epu for more blood tests to check my hormal levels are dropping; although today I went in and they had said they hadn't dropped so needed to scan.. (this broke my heart) but they can see the sac!! & it's grown.. a lot. As I went in before thinking I was 10 weeks.. They have written on the paperwork I am 6 weeks?! Also, they have told me I have a 50/50 chance. And to go back next Friday for another scan... but I'm obviously not getting my hopes up, as I've been told it's a miscarriage , but today was different. . I'm confused.. my head is all a wobble.. any any any anyyyy advice is welcoming?!
Oh SJD ... Don't have any advice sadly but hand-holding and hoping for you here here - really hope it all turns out well, that sounds hopeful
I agree with anddeepbreath Can't say I've ever heard of that happening myself (not saying its impossible) but it does sound very hopeful!! Good luck
This is what I thought.. It sounds cliché but it could be a mirical?! Obviously not getting to worked up about it.. what will be will be. But fingers crossed for scan next week! X
I really hope everything turns out well for you
Sjd you never know, it might actually be a miracle! Did your HCG actually went up since Monday or stayed the same?
all the best sweetie
They didn't say, but it was still "high" which instead of taking more blood, they scanned instead. . So I don't really know what to make of it. X
What am up and down time for you.
Is there any possibility that your dates are wrong, as you seem to be a full month out.
I really hope it works out well for you, I have my fingers crossed for you xx
I personally would take hope from the fact that hcg hasn't gone down. Its ideal to double every 48 hours (ish) but doesn't have to, as long as it's staying up
I absolutely don't want to put your hope up, but don't rely 100% on the initial scan, hence they do blood work as well
And what did they mean when they said you miscarried? did they say there was no sac? no heartbeat? are they being a bit vague maybe?
you could call and ask for your hcg exact number if you like, but it's up to you. If you don't want to put your hopes up, its only fair
take care xxx
God sjd114 what an emotional roller coaster you are on. FX for you on Friday. I'll be thinking of you and looking forward to a positive update from you! x
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