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Mummy-to-be Massage WWYD?(10 Posts)
I know ideally what I should have done was spoken up at the time, but I didn't, and now I'm annoyed at myself, so wondered if anyone has any advice or I should just leave it?
Booked in for a mummy-to-be massage at a local spa that had come highly recommended by several friends. It started off ok....I was laid on my side and had my back rubbed, however she didn't go anywhere near my neck/shoulders despite me stating on the consultation form that this was an area I would like to be concentrated on.
After about 20 min I was asked to lay on my back. The lady doing my treatment asked if I was comfortable when I turned, which to start with I was, so I said yes, and also assumed (as no sensible person would leave a massively pregnant woman laid on her back for an hour) that I would only be there for a short while....I was wrong.
I tried to shuffle around and managed to get into a position where I could breathe a little better and my pelvis wasn't hurting too badly, but for the rest of the treatment I was very uncomfortable and felt queasy. She asked me at the end if everything was ok and I gave a bit of a non-commital grunt as she left the room for me to get ready.
I came out feeling 10 times worse than I did going in. I'm aching, my SPD that I was getting on top of with physio has had a massive flare up, i can barely walk tonight and my shoulders/neck are killing me. I'm also £60 worse off!
Now I know I'm being completely unreasonable for not saying anything at the time
which is why I didn't post it AIBU because I didn't fancy the abuse but I have got home and stewed on it all day, and now I'm really annoyed with myself. It's just how I am, I have always been the same, I won't even say my food is bad in a restaurant, is prefer to just leave it and pay anyway because I HATE confrontation, so saying something at the time would have been awful for me. The anxiety of the potential confrontation mixed with pregnant hormones are not a good mixture! I don't want anything from the spa in terms of a refund/freebie or anything, I just feel like I should speak to them and maybe give a bit of feedback along the lines of 'maybe your advert could state that a lot of the treatment is done laid down on your back and may not be suitable for certain people', since if I'd have known this I would never have booked.
WWYD? Are my hormones getting the better off me and am I being stupid? Would you drop them a quick email or just put it down to experience and leave it?
Well. I kind of think that if you were uncomfortable, you should have said at the time. It doesn't take a lot to do that and I don't think she would have seen it as a confrontation.
Tho as it was a specialist pregnancy massage I would expect someone to be aware of certain things. Was it more expensive than a normal one? If no, I'd leave it, if yes, I'd drop a note saying that it wasn't very comfortable and you had assumed the masseuse had additional training.
It sounds rubbish
Take it as a lesson learned. Speaking up about what you want, or if something is uncomfortable, isn't confrontation! "Ooh, I'm feeling out of breath, I'm going to have to sit up now" or "can you do a bit on my neck and shoulders please?" couldn't possibly be seen as confrontational.
Most people are far too self-absorbed to notice when another person is unhappy, uncomfortable, etc. Practice speaking up in a friendly way and you'll soon realise that people don't mind at all
I totally get you. I'd struggle to say anything in that situation too. Someone advertising a prenatal massage should know something as basic as not lying on your back! I think feedback to them would be totally appropriate.
The same thing has happened to me. I'm also not comfortable speaking up about things like that. I would recommend having a quiet word with the spa, either by phone or email, just to let them know that you weren't comfortable with your treatment and outline the reasons why. If the person doing the massage left you on ur back for a long period of time,it might be a case that she needs a bit more training in pregnancy massage. Nothing that can really be done for you in hindsight I'm afraid, but may help for future people who use that spa?x
I'm the same in that I don't like to make a fuss too so totally get where you are coming from! But they shouldn't have put you on your back. I had a mummy to be massage at only 13 weeks (spa day with my mum and it was all they would allow me to have) and even then when I had no bump or anything they propped me up on my side for the whole massage and at no point asked me to lay on my back.
I went for a decleor massage a few weeks ago and I too was surprised by how much time I spent on my back during it! Spent the time I was on my back worrying that I shouldn't have been on my back!
I had a decleor one as well and was on my back, I didn't expect to be any way to be honest!
I had some dental work done at about 36/37 weeks and spent over an hour on my back with my head lower than my feet, I felt dreadful! Dizzy, breathless, pelvis hurting like mad, I can't believe I didn't stop it. I can't believe how unaware the dentist was on how bad this position is for pregnant women. I'm not usually afraid to speak up, I blame it on the pregnancy!
I've had the decleor one too and I loved it. I didn't realise that it was a bad thing to be on your back for a little while but then I didn't have any pelvis or breathing problems. I'm like you though, I would've struggled to speak up at the time.
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