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2 under 2, well, almost!

(52 Posts)
jugglingmonkey Mon 10-Aug-15 21:23:15

I'm 21 weeks with DC2 (it's a girl)! I already have DS1 who will have just turned 2 when new baby arrives.

What sorts of things can I be doing to prepare myself as much as possible for the onslaught of 2 very little ones?

I've accepted that I'll probably need a double buggy so doing some proper research into that now, but what other things will help?

Specifically interested in how I arrange available childcare for DS1? He's currently in nursery two days a week, which will continue for the first 4 months of my mat leave. DM is offering me 2 days help, however/whenever I like, but she'll need a regular rota as she works freelance so needs to plan it in her diary.

I'll be doing the usual bulk cooking/stocking up, but any practical tips for preparing for no.2 would be much appreciated.

Sundaysmumisfullofwine Mon 10-Aug-15 21:36:01

Following as I will have the same age gap in about 6 weeks time

Vatersay Mon 10-Aug-15 21:38:26

Get a nice big change bag - you'll have two lots of everything to carry.

jugglingmonkey Mon 10-Aug-15 21:52:08

That was another big question... Should I try to potty train DS ahead of DD arrival?

I know it will only really work if he's actually ready, but I can't bear the thought of two in nappies! Thought about starting my mat leave 2 weeks early to train DS... Or at least try! He'd be just turning 2... Has excellent vocab and tells me know when he's gone/just about to. Not for a wee, but for a poo.

Smcgettigan79 Mon 10-Aug-15 21:56:36

If ds1 has a nap at a regular time then try and get the baby in that zone ASAP - both of my boys asleep at the same time was the sanity saver! Just an hour or so reading a book with my feet up-bliss! I'd ask your mum to take over when you stop nursery as that time with baby is really nice. Good luck x

messystressy Mon 10-Aug-15 22:05:59

I have 20 months difference between my two. Things that save me were:

- Decent carrier for the baby, so handy to have hands free for toddler
- Felt like a factory changing two nappies at a time, but both my children were potty trained when they were ready (not for want if trying earlier!)
- Childcare - I did keep my DS in nursery for a couple of hours in the morning when my daughter was born. It just gave me a couple of hours to do homework and pick up the odd shopping, then he came home for lunch in the afternoon. We had a great time playing together, and I could focus more on him - rather than sorting laundry.
- Online shopping...,for everything!
- Put them in the bath together as soon as you can/feel comfortable - saves a bath.
- A bit of TV doesn't hurt anyone or turn toddlers into tv monsters. My DS watched a few shows when I was stuck and needed 10 mins (e.g. making phone calls) - now at 5, he gets 1 hour on the weekends and that's all. He is not bothered.
- Get toddler eating with the adults, so come weaning time for the baby, there is only one extra meal to prepare.

Good luck, mine aren't too old now (5 and 3) but I miss those days!

purplemurple1 Mon 10-Aug-15 22:27:34

Sleep as much as you can now!

Mine are good sleepers on the whole bit there always a cold or teething or a developmental or growth leap reason one of them cant make it through the nigh and wakes the other.

Tangoandcreditcards Mon 10-Aug-15 22:35:14

Place marking.

Due DC2 with a 22mo gap later this year. Was going to try and live without a double buggy and make do with sling/buggy board (as it'll be midwinter so won't exactly be out for long strolls for a while).

jugglingmonkey Mon 10-Aug-15 22:49:57

I thought the same about sling/buggy board, but DS bolts and I couldn't trust him on a buggy board I don't think. I'd like to be able to take them both out for naps while I run errands in town/out for a long walk in the park etc. DS always wants to be carried now so I figure I need the double, if only for a bit...

purplemurple1 Tue 11-Aug-15 05:16:59

We found a double really useful even for naps in the house as dc1 wanted more attention and to be with the new baby so you could rock them together for naps.

captainproton Tue 11-Aug-15 05:46:26

How is your little one with reins? I can get my almost 2yo to walk beside the buggy with one of those little backpacks on. I had 13 months between mine. Sanity saved by keeping eldest in nursery for 2 days a week, she already went so knew everyone and I knew they could do things I couldn't at home like painting etc.

Don't try to do too much in the first weeks, everyone has to get used to the new arrival.

A good sling is a godsend and keeping baby gates up to stop toddlers running riot. They sort of have a knack for doing things they know they shouldn't when your busy. So a 100% toddler proof environment at home is a good idea.

mrsnec Tue 11-Aug-15 05:53:05

Place marking too. There will be 17 months between mine. My dh is already insisting we don't need a double buggy!

fanjodisfunction Tue 11-Aug-15 07:02:01

my DS will be 2years and one month when new baby arrives. I don't have room for a double buggy in my flat, so I'm buying a buggy board and a sling, so that it give me options. DS likes to walk but its slow going, so thought this was best.

jugglingmonkey Tue 11-Aug-15 07:42:11

Reins he's ok with... But he just wants carrying after five minutes!

Mrs you'll surely need a double with that age gap??

Nice to know I'm not the only one trying to figure all of this out!

Think I'll ask mum to help 1 day with DS, half day with DD, and half day with both so that I can sleep/housework! We'll keep DS at nursery as long as we can afford to. Does anyone know exactly when the free hours kick in? He's a Nov 2013 baby... Local school nursery does a Jan intake...

LittleLostRoeDeer Tue 11-Aug-15 07:58:06

I've got two years between mine (missed having the same birthday by an hour!). Things that have helped me:
- double pram without a doubt, and I have a daughter who will walk anywhere if need be.
- Connecta sling for carrying around the little one whenever he was unsettled, and if we were just doing short journeys out
- rucksack style changing bag. I got one off Amazon by a company called Lassig. I cannot recommend it enough! Loads of compartments, comfortable to carry.
- tablet computer for nursery rhymes and games in the morning. Means I can get us all ready for the day with minimum stress. We don't have a tv so this is her screen time; 40 mins in the morning and then occasionally in the afternoon if I need to do something like sleep next to her
- bouncer chair upstairs and downstairs for the baby. I was given one then bought the other from an NCT sale.
- absorbing games like train set or Duplo. It means my DD can get on and play with little input from me while I'm feeding DS.
- I try to get out for one activity a day. Playgroup, park, soft play, doesn't matter. Just gives a reason to get out!
- I used websites like The Imagination Tree to think of things to do with the older one (and now both of them). I felt like even if we'd only done one thing a day it kept my sanity and made me feel like I was doing more than just fire fighting!
- agree with PP about getting them to nap at the same time. I usually cook the evening meal while they're asleep. Mine are good sleepers though and it usually leaves 20/30 mins to relax.
- make sure you and your partner are clear and happy about who does what jobs on a daily and weekly basis. I'm a SAHM, we share the house work and it is still flipping hard work for both of us. We have certain things we know the other prefers to do, or not to do, and it just saves time and stress!

Most of all: enjoy them. Already I miss the newborn sleeping all the time smiles and gurgles. Good luck!

WorldsBiggestGrotbag Tue 11-Aug-15 08:08:13

I am 5 weeks into this, DD1 is 21 months.
- a sling. I didn't get one at first but succumbed as I just didn't have enough hands.
- low standards! Our house is a tip.
- Plenty of places downstairs to put the baby down while yore dealing with the toddler!
- good double buggy (we've got the bugaboo donkey).
- I lay all our clothes out the night before to make our mornings easier!

We don't have any childcare for the toddler at all so have them both with me 24/7, it's full on! The biggest challenges for me are the cluster feeding (it's hard being stuck to the sofa BF-ing with a toddler demanding your attention too) and the fact that DD1 still doesn't sleep through the night so dealing with that and night feeds for a newborn is a killer.
You'll be fine smile. It's already starting to get a little easier 5 weeks in.

BlueberryWafer Tue 11-Aug-15 08:17:11

There's 22 months between mine (currently aged 2 and aged 4 months). I don't like using my double buggy a sits such a faff, I tend to use a single and a carrier/sling. Sticking to the 2 year olds routine is the best thing you can do, and make sure you spend time with them like doing their bedtime stories etc so it's not daddy and toddler vs mummy and baby if that makes sense?

Poppytime Tue 11-Aug-15 08:31:06

Reading with interest as due dc2 in 7/8 weeks and dd1 will be just over another thread on here that put fear of God into me about how hard it is with 2 under 2 (or there abouts) and finding this one much more reassuring! What is it with DH's and the insistence on not needing a double buggy?! Mine is the same. I've agreed to try and buggy board and also sling/buggy combo but still not convinced I won't need a double...

PicnicPie Tue 11-Aug-15 08:38:40

18 month age gap here. DC are now 1 and 2.5. Definitely get a double. We still use ours all the time. Dd1 will walk quite a bit but when she's tired/grumpy/moody/you need to leave asap then being able to strap both kids in and get going is a god send.

As pp said, lessen standards. And ensure clothes ready night before and changing bag always stocked and ready to go.

mrsnec Tue 11-Aug-15 08:46:55

Very ahead of myself here but do any of you have them sharing a room? I was wondering if that makes it easier with changes etc. We only have a 3 bedroom place buy the room I use as dds nursery has room for two cots and a bed and if some of you have yours napping at the same time it might work.

I've already told dh I'm going to need him to help me out a bit more.

Think I'll be glad I live in a bungalow so I don't need stuff upstairs and downstairs.

We didn't use the sling much with dd.She's already grown out of it so I think I'm just going to have to convince dh although I must admit most of the double buggies I've looked at do look like a massive faff! A few of my friends said theirs didn't get on with buggy boards either so it might just be finding out what works for us when we get there.

PosterEh Tue 11-Aug-15 08:53:55

I'd say hold off the potty training until after baby arrives. If you train right before you'll end up taking toddler to the toilet every 5 mins with a newborn. Unless you have a very early crawler there should be a nice long stretch where the baby is immobile but reasonably content for you to potty train.

jugglingmonkey Tue 11-Aug-15 08:54:14

Ours will share a room once they are both a bit older but for now they'll get their own rooms (bye bye guest room)!

Planning to move DS to a bed at around 2.5, once DD moves to the nursery...

jugglingmonkey Tue 11-Aug-15 08:55:37

Good point Poster, I hadn't considered that i'd actually be accompanying DS to the loo!

purplemurple1 Tue 11-Aug-15 09:01:14

We have ours in the same room but dc1 is a very heavy sleeper and self settles well.
We put them up to bed at the same time and normally they both sleep through about 10hrs. Dc2 gets up first and normally dc1 sleeps through that and wakes about an hour later.

We do have an emergency cot in our room on the odd night they need to be separated.

Tangoandcreditcards Tue 11-Aug-15 09:05:16

Loving this thread.

In terms of the lower standards grotbag - I'm already way ahead of myself in those stakes grin

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