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please direct me to the right place..

(14 Posts)
primarynoodle Sun 09-Aug-15 18:39:29

I am really struggling to deal with the aftermath of a medical management termination after a lethal diagnosis at the 12 week scan.

I had the procedure last week at 13 weeks and have worries and questions about that - i have tried searching google and mumsnet but cant find answers to my questions about whats happening to me physically.

I also wondered if there was a section on mumsnet anywhere that acts as a support group for tfmr, it wasnt a miscarriage so i dont know if i can post on those threads sad

so if anyone can point me to a good thread that would be great i could really use some 'company'wine

primarynoodle Sun 09-Aug-15 18:47:37

meant to say i have seen there is a miscarriage/pregnancy loss board through search results but its either not around any more or i cant find it on the app...

Sockmatcher Sun 09-Aug-15 18:50:03

Hi I'm sorry to hear about your situation.
I hope you can get support here.

It's under body and soul if link doesn't work.

sarkymare Sun 09-Aug-15 18:51:17

Of course you can post on the miscarriage threads. A loss is a loss no matter how it came about. The ladies on those threads will be very understanding I am certain.

Alternatively if there are specific questions you would like to ask you could start a thread over in miscarriage and pregnancy loss which you can find under the topic 'body and soul' I'm sure there will be loads of women with similar experiences to share or even just to offer a hand to hold.

I'm so sorry you have had to go through this. Do you have any support in real life? X

sarkymare Sun 09-Aug-15 18:51:43

Sorry x-posts

primarynoodle Sun 09-Aug-15 19:09:13

i do have my dp and mil who are both great and very supportive... but neither of them can fully understand whats going on in my head or answer my questions.

thank you for the directions thanks

Brummiegirl15 Sun 09-Aug-15 20:13:05

Hey Noodle

Have been thinking of you. You absolutely can post on the mc threads... There are a couple of regular posters Kittyteal ( or something like that) and PopandCry who both had TFMR, I think kitty was at 22 weeks.

It's a loss and you need support so please try the mc threads

I've been thinking of you xx

primarynoodle Sun 09-Aug-15 20:33:09

thanks brummie

i have thought about you all on feb bus and im so glad, for you especially after your sad history, that everything is going okay! I am not brave enough to look at the board but i hope i was the last of the sad news xxx

Brummiegirl15 Sun 09-Aug-15 21:07:40

Don't look on the board. Please don't even open the ante-natal threads full stop.

It will torture you and you don't need that. The Feb bus is behind you. You have to focus on you and your DH. To grieve and recover. To collect your thoughts. You are the most important thing right now. Don't worry about anyone else.

I had my 3rd due date on Friday. I lit 3 candles (one of each of my lost babies) and I cried. Sobbed actually. Even though I'm pregnant now, those 3 babies are part of me.

And yours always will be too. You were faced with an awful heartbreaking horrendous decision.

Don't give up on the mc threads. My darkest hours were spent on those threads and they got me through it. They will for you too. If you are desperate and can't find the "right" thread - come and see us on the recurrent mc thread. We are always talking and supporting each other. It's like Blackpool - never goes quiet smile and quite frankly 1 loss or 7 ( we've had a couple of them) we couldn't give a shit. A loss is a loss

Big hugs xx

twinsandapenguin Mon 10-Aug-15 10:30:54

I am going to speak to ARC today. It has taken me a while to feel like I can talk about it, I would expect they can answer any questions you have

twinsandapenguin Mon 10-Aug-15 10:31:25

twinsandapenguin Mon 10-Aug-15 10:31:59

They also have an online forum for others in a similar position. You may find some answers there. I hope you start feeling better soon noodle. It does get easier

JJXM Mon 10-Aug-15 10:48:17

There's a section called Antenatal Tests on the site under Becoming a Parent - lots of people on there have had high risk results and several have had a TFMR - all are supportive.

Sorry for your loss.

primarynoodle Mon 10-Aug-15 10:59:57

twins you have to register with arc before you can read the forums... yesterday i lost it and i needed to make contact with someone, anyone, asap so i think eventually when arc get back to me i will be able to get support there but im glad i found a decent mn support group too.

hope you are doing okay thanks

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