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23 weeks pregnant. Have toddler. Afraid I won't be able to cope.

(10 Posts)
Ficidy Fri 07-Aug-15 18:38:17

I'm 23+3 with my second. My ds is 2. I'm 38 years old and really, really tired and struggling. I'm extremely anxious about how I'll cope with two. By anxious, I mean really, really scared. Both of these pregnancies were IVF, so much-wanted, but I'm really worried about how I'll cope afterwards. Anyone else in the same boat?

CityDweller Fri 07-Aug-15 18:42:42

Do you have a partner? If so, you won't be doing it alone

I'm 31 wks with a 2.4 yo and I work full time. I'm knackered all the time, short tempered with DD (who's just entered the terrible twos), we're in process of moving house and DH is setting up his own company. Life sucks a lot, but I know it'll all be ok in the end surely?

All will be fine. We're not the first women to be pregnant with a toddler to deal with!

madwomanbackintheattic Fri 07-Aug-15 18:42:45

Loads of people have similar age gaps, or less, often with multiple runs of children. I had three under four, but know someone who managed three under two, which was entertaining.

It's pretty ordinary. In fact most people have their second before the first one turns two, so you will have a slightly bigger gap.

It will be fine. But anxiety is fairly ordinary in pg. find something to distract yourself and be prepared to lower your standards and use the TV...

slightlyconfused85 Fri 07-Aug-15 18:43:41

I'm 3 weeks into life with a 2.9 year old and a 3 week old. I worried for my entire pregnancy but you know what- we are doing okay. Accept all help with older child, accept there will be times when both children are crying - prioritise and remain calm- this is unavoidable!
My elder dd always liked him from day 1 but would get stressed when he cried. 2 weeks later she is fine, when he cries she goes off and looks for toys/nappies to help.

What end of 2 is your ds? If
You think potty training is possible then go for it because we did dd 4 months ago and it's really helped for her to be sorted there.

Whatabout Fri 07-Aug-15 18:48:28

35 weeks with a 2.4 year old. He's decided to potty train so that's been a bit stressful but glad to be out the way in some ways. We will cope, we have to! I hope he won't stop napping and I've got childcare for him in the mornings for his routine to continue. It'll be hard but not forever flowers

Ficidy Fri 07-Aug-15 19:23:37

He's just two, so I don't think he's quite ready for potty training yet, but he is showing some signs. Maybe I should get a start on that asap.

I can't help feeling that all of this would be easier if I was younger, but I know I have no control over that. I try to talk to my mum about it, but she had us all in her twenties and it was fine. My dh is supportive, but doesn't really understand my fears.

I'll still have my ds in childcare for the first while, to help ease the transition. I guess it's just a fear of the unknown. I really struggled when my ds was a newborn and I'm afraid that now I'll be struggling with a newborn and a tantrum-throwing, demanding 2 year old.

Anxious beyond belief. Thanks for the messages though. They do help!

Itsbloodyraining Fri 07-Aug-15 19:34:19

Similar situation. Childcare for a few afternoons a week for the eldest. Can they start at a local preschool at 2.6? This is what we did. They weren't quite eligible for the 15 hours so we had to pay for a bit. I even had to join a gym so I could put them in the free crèche grin.

You will be fine, and will manage. A rhythm will emerge, and you'll be so busy the first year will fly by. I don't think it's an age thing either, I think it's hard for anyone to have young children, cos no one can have as much energy as they do!

SnozzberryPie Fri 07-Aug-15 19:47:30

I'm in the same boat except I'm 'only' 37 and dd is 2 yrs 7 months. I'm finding pregnancy physically harder this time round although how much of that is due to my age vs having a toddler to deal with I don't know!

Dd is physically ready to potty train but refuses point blank.

On the plus side she'll be nearly three when this baby is born so we can keep her in nursery for the free hours when I'm on maternity leave.

slightlyconfused85 Fri 07-Aug-15 20:00:59

Ah don't bother potty training if he is just 2 that will probably add stress!
I am 29 - it's exhausting whatever age so don't fret about that- I struggle with the newborn stage too and I'm a young thing! . It's going to be fine it really is smile

claire103 Fri 07-Aug-15 21:46:32

I'm scared too!! I have a 14, 5, 4 and 18 month old and am now 10 weeks pregnant with my 5th. I'm 42 and sooooooo tired but love my kids to bits and know it will be worth it in the end but hard going.

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