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Newsnight is more appealing

(3 Posts)
firstbabyyeh Wed 05-Aug-15 07:48:11

I've a new definition of rejection...being snubbed by your OH (when you're in full sexy outfit mode) in favour of newsnight. My husband doesnt even bloody like Evan Davis - Paxo fan - which pours salt on the wound IMO.

He's just not very interested and, since pregnancy, wont touch me at all. Trying very hard not to nag (not sexy), or chase him round the room Benny Hill style (ditto on many levels) and have raised the topic gently a few times outside of the bedroom. Have shown him books where it says sex in pregnancy is ok.

Any one else had this problem of zero sex drive in their SO and what did you do please? At the moment, it only seems to be a problem for me..he's fine and sees no need to talk about it. Joking aside it really hurts my feelings to have a relationship with absolutely no sex at all or conversation about whyconfused

ARV1981 Wed 05-Aug-15 08:09:27

I've had similar problems with my dh.

He says it stemmed from when I had a bleed early on in the pregnancy and he was terrified of doing something to hurt the baby even though he could also accept that there was no scientific evidence of this. He knew it was irrational.

In the end, I stopped initiating it and we've probably had sex around 5 times in 8 months! I miss it, but he's still affectionate and loving towards me so I don't think he's gone off me. We still cuddle a lot, and do most things couples do without penetration.

Maybe your OH is feeling similar - knows it's irrational but still can't shake the worry? Talking would help you though, so maybe suggest that although he's fine with it you need to discuss it because it's making you feel unattractive (this is how I broached the subject) and affecting your self esteem.

Maybe once he understands from your pov he will be able to show you other forms of affection - sex is great, but it's that feeling of closeness you get from it that you're missing... so if he could give you that without penetration then perhaps you'd still feel sexy, wanted and loved?

HTH.

RockerMummy184 Wed 05-Aug-15 08:53:47

Nothing constructive to add, but thought I'd contribute with my story of frustration and woe!

Totally didn't fancy it for the first 15/16 weeks on account of extreme fatigue/sickness. Once that settled down I became MEGA horny but I had a considerable bump by this point (twins) so DH wasn't interested. Finally got him to play ball, had my 20 week scan and told I had a low lying placenta so sex is off the cards until after delivery!

Argggghhhh!

I have a scan today, so if my placenta has moved (fingers crossed) I'm going to ask if we can resume....but I'm not holding out much hope of him being interested when I'm so massive I can't even get up off the sofa at the moment! hmm

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