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Does anyone else hate the unwelcome belly rubs?

(34 Posts)
Frillsandspills Sun 02-Aug-15 13:37:54

I'm 20 weeks pregnant and I have a little bump and I'm just sick of people thinking they can come and stroke it whenever they feel like. It's not that big and I'm always bloated anyway. I'm not a touchy feely person so I get a little freaked out by it. I probably won't mind when I have a huge bump you can feel baby move through but at the minute there's not much to feel.

My grandmother is the biggest culprit, she always asks if I'm 'fat' yet and without warning rubs my tummy. I then have to back off and say no I'm not fat (I don't feel fat..). Today she asked if I had felt movement yet and I had to lie and say no not really I'm sure I will in the next few weeks. Although I haven't felt much movement anyway just a few things that are few and far between but nothing that's all the time. I felt bad, but, I didn't want her to see it as a pass to feel my 'fluttery' tummy just yet.

Am I being a bit precious or does anyone else not like it?

Betsyblue Sun 02-Aug-15 13:44:57

I would hate it- I find it really odd that people do it I must admit. However I am now 37 weeks and haven't had one person do it, so I must give off strong 'don't touch' vibes grin

lemon101 Sun 02-Aug-15 13:45:46

I hate it too from anyone other than my partner. Mum, friends, everybody.... Grrrr!

YakTriangle Sun 02-Aug-15 13:46:12

It is quite odd. You wouldn't go up and rub a complete strangers belly flab, why would anyone think it's okay to rub a baby bump?

Pedestriana Sun 02-Aug-15 13:51:40

Select people were allowed to touch, but not strangers. Thankfully my resting bitch face put most people off.

Doublebubblebubble Sun 02-Aug-15 14:32:27

I agree with pedestriana - I offer my belly to very select people. No. One. Else. Not only is it inappropriate but if your baby is a bit of a wriggler it can be uncomfortable. I've also found that since my tummy has been stretching absolutely RUINED it has been ever so tender. So when people go to touch I kind of just turn a bit. I wish I could be confident enough to say say no..

Jelliebabe1 Mon 03-Aug-15 22:21:51

I always thought I'd hate it! But oddly I don't! Well, with select people anyway. grin

Jelliebabe1 Mon 03-Aug-15 22:22:24

...I would NEVER touch someone else's though!

Junosmum Mon 03-Aug-15 22:26:53

My friend did it the other day. I'm only 15 weeks. I rubbed herself back and when she looked quizically at me I just said ' yeah weird isn't it'.

mummyneedinganswers Mon 03-Aug-15 22:32:25

I'm lucky enough I must give off a vibe that's just send the message DO NOT TOUCH as people tend to avoid my tummy lol, my Mumm and granny would rub my belly n passing or she talking about LO but apart from that no one dares to come near me. My partner rubs it all the time tho which I don't mind.

I would never dare rub someone else's belly so I don't get why people try to x

BeautifulBatman Mon 03-Aug-15 22:42:02

I don't mind it at all, if it's friends or family. My sil was rubbing it, and even kissed it the other night. It's sweet.

ARV1981 Tue 04-Aug-15 09:01:49

I don't mind friends and family (even encouraging mum and sisters to cop a feel when baby's moving!) But strangers and acquaintances - YUCK!

BeautifulBatman Tue 04-Aug-15 09:11:58

I think the nicest thing was my mils reaction when I first offered my belly to her. She was so happy. Other DIL is a complete cow not so obliging. The other morning at pils house I was in bed in the morning and baby was on the move. I had bra and knickers on I must point out. I called her and asked if she wanted to see/feel. She had the warning of my state of dress. She loved it. And made a comment about how ginormous my Boobs were. It was a bonding moment grin

Glindathegoodwitch Tue 04-Aug-15 11:16:58

I struggled so hard for this bump, and so enviously stared at others for so long, I wish the whole world would want to admire and stroke my bump all the time!

Coffeemarkone Tue 04-Aug-15 11:21:29

you need to practice your light hand slap technique tbh...

FernGullysWoollyPully Tue 04-Aug-15 11:27:45

I don't really like it either. I'm ok with dh and kids touching, kids even kiss their little sis! But when my bil did it last weekend I felt weird.

I looked down and said "errr excuse me?!" And he said "I'm just congratulating you, can't exactly rub mrfern's dick to congratulate you can I?!" hmmconfused

Mil insults me every time she goes near the bump, last time it was "ooo bit squishy isn't it?" I replied "yes we've been having you all on for months, it just fat really."

Eyre89 Tue 04-Aug-15 11:31:45

I had a random woman do it to me in the bus stop it's so uncomfortable. I agree certain people only. I was advised to put my hand on their tummy as they touch mine. And if they asked what are you doing? just say well only what you're doing to me, it's inappropriate isn't it? I never had the balls to try it and thankfully there weren't many occasions where I could have tried it.

It's difficult, with family I tended to be more tolerant as they're excited but if it's really uncomfortable for you could you not tell her? Or would she not take it well? Even if she didn't it's your body and you have every right to say no.

luckiestgirlintheworld Tue 04-Aug-15 11:35:35

I love it. But I'm generally very tactile anyway.

spydie Tue 04-Aug-15 12:00:26

Uh hate it, have always hated the thought of it! MIL went to on Saturday (15 weeks) and I stepped back and went 'oh no no no, setting ground rules now, no touching my belly!' She looked horrified and husband laughed!

LilacWine7 Tue 04-Aug-15 12:06:21

I hate it from anyone other than DH! It's so annoying. I find it really awkward telling people not to touch, as they're not trying to be intrusive they're just excited and curious to feel the baby kick. I once snapped at a friend for touching my bump and she got upset and embarrassed, so now I try to be more tactful.

I tolerate it from my mum, but then I don't see her often and I understand she finds it very exciting to feel her first grandchild move (and I feel she sort of has a right to touch the bump since she's my mum). Anyone else I grit my teeth and move away as soon as possible. For some reason, in group photos at least 3 people always want to put their hands on my bump which I find annoying. Two of DH's male friends also kept touching it when they stayed over, they'd both had a few drinks and started saying how amazing it was there was a baby in there and getting all emotional! One put his face close to my bump and started talking to the baby! It was sweet but still awkward.

Sometimes I tell people 'don't wake him up he's asleep' rather than 'don't touch me' then I explain being touched can make the baby jump. He's very responsive to touch and will usually kick hard if he feels any pressure, which sort of gets the point across!

Madredear Tue 04-Aug-15 12:22:26

I can't say I dislike or like as I'm not expecting yet.

Although, when I am, I can't imagine not liking it. The baby would be so much longed for that Jack the ripper could admire me if he wanted.

Then again, if I didn't like it, I'd say so.

cazzabazz Tue 04-Aug-15 12:31:09

I bought this t-shirt the other day as it sums up everything perfectly....

www.cafepress.co.uk/mf/63169736/november-baby-boy-funny-maternity-tee_maternity?productId=604561877

Cineraria Tue 04-Aug-15 13:27:05

I am usually happy for more or less anyone who wants to feel mine to do so but they have to ask me first and I have to put their hand on the bump and hold on to it while they keep still as I'm really ticklish otherwise and it makes me feel sick (scans are torture!).

If they touch without asking or wiggle their fingers, I tend to lurch slightly toward them whilst retching. This happens involuntarily sometimes but it has worked so well at showing people how it makes me feel that I've done it deliberately once or twice too.

bookgirl1982 Tue 04-Aug-15 13:42:36

I don't mind if people ask, but my MIL insisted on just touching. On the second attempt she got patted right back and was rather shocked!

Buttercup27 Tue 04-Aug-15 13:44:44

I used to really hate it and would give involuntary hand slaps as an automatic response !

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