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Being intimate with hubby - maybe tmi?

(10 Posts)
Andifyoudontfirstsucceed Sat 01-Aug-15 20:37:42

I am nearly 22 weeks after 2 pregnancies which ended at 6weeks. Baby fine and healthy as shown by scans and heart beat. But I am terrified of being intimate with hubby! He's amazing - no pushing etc at all. However I am scared that if we don't then it will never happen until after birth! confused my midwife at 16 weeks told me to go slow and it would be fine - but still too scared - am I being seriously daft??

sarkymare Sat 01-Aug-15 20:45:48

Are you being ridiculously daft? Well sort of yes. Having sex will not do you or your baby a jot of harm.

With that said you're not being daft in the sense that I totally get how nerve wracking pregnancy after miscarriage is.

sarkymare Sat 01-Aug-15 20:48:26

Seriously daft* sorry I'm on my phone and couldn't check your wording without loosing my post.

And of course congratulations on your pregnancy flowers

carbolicsoaprocked Sat 01-Aug-15 23:29:45

I wouldn't say you're being daft. All the advice says it's totally fine to go ahead, but like you I had an early miscarriage and there was no way I was having sex during pregnancy. Apart from the worries, I felt crap from 7 weeks onwards, and now DS is here we're both too tired! It's a totally personal thing, do what's right for you and your DH.

cluelessnchaos Sat 01-Aug-15 23:36:39

I bled in pregnancies and was advised not to have penetrative sex but still did everything else, it was great. Not quite the same but in some ways more intimate and imaginative. Maybe take the pressure off if you agree no penetration?

Brummiegirl15 Sun 02-Aug-15 12:44:17

You are absolutely not being daft. Far from it.

I've had 3 mc's and I'm on a strict "no sex" until post 20 weeks scan. And this was instructed by the midwife and not me being paranoid

14 wks and counting down the days

Sighing Sun 02-Aug-15 14:55:09

Not daft at all. I've imposed no sex as well (previous mc s at 8ish weeks) now 9 weeks plus. Consultant delighted with my progress. Still not risking it. Which means missing out on holiday and birthday. DH is very understanding (so much i even give him a treat). It's completely OK to be protective of the baby. Your vonfidence later on may change things. Going with how you feel about this is probably best.

Doublebubblebubble Sun 02-Aug-15 15:49:37

I know what it is like to be cautious about sex. It is a very strange time is pregnancy lol. Do as midwife say. Go slow and Get lube. (your hormones may make it difficult) and enjoy. Sex is a good thing for pregnancy x

Lolababy00 Sun 02-Aug-15 16:24:35

I bled at 6 weeks after sex and it did make me extremely anxious...my partner and I left it for a couple of weeks and just took it very slowly and gently. Now at 34 weeks it's back to normal, however there are certain positions that are a bit uncomfortable so we will just have to wait until baby is born. ( hopefully not tmi )

scatterbrainedlass Mon 03-Aug-15 09:10:35

If the MW says it's ok, then it should be fine, but obviously take it slow and if you feel really uncomfortable or in any pain then stop. If you're both ok with no sex until after the birth, then I wouldn't stress, but I understand it's a very long time to wait. As pp's have said, start off slow, maybe just avoid penetration for now while you get comfortable with it. It's not daft to be scared, we found it a little odd to start off with, and we've never had to contend with a mc.

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