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20 week scan anxiety

(6 Posts)
Frillsandspills Sun 26-Jul-15 14:46:35

Hi all,

Just looking for a few words of reassurance as my 20 week scan is in 9 days and I'm feeling quite anxious. It's mainly due to not feeling definite movements yet which I'm aware is normal at this stage, I feel the odd 'twitch' but I really can't work out if it's wind or not..

Since my last scan (private at 16 weeks) I've been so stressed with my ex partner and I'm terrified that the stress may have caused problems. At my private scan the sonographer said everything seemed fine, but of course it wasn't a medical scan so that doesn't leave me feeling reassured that much.

I was really looking forward to the 20 week scan until It dawned on me that it's not just a chance to see hi to your baby but to find out if there are any problems.
I've had a fair bit of anxiety throughout my pregnancy and I worry A LOT, I think because my partner left me and I feel like my baby is the only thing keeping me happy and strong and I'm just praying everything is fine. I have a midwife appointment in 3 days so I will speak to her about my anxieties and hopefully she can give me some reassurance.

My babies father doesn't seem to show much interest, he did say he'd come to the scan with me, then said its an opening day at a new bar he's working in, so when I suggested asking if they would mind someone covering for him for about an hour and a half at the most he said he didn't want to ask. The worst they can say is no, but he wants to be involved and him at least trying to make it to the scan would have been a start as he really does need to prove to me he wants to be around rather than just saying it as he never really shows any interest and he goes round in circles a lot not knowing how he feels.

I think I'm just stressed with the whole situation with my ex partner and I feel like I'm constantly pissed off, so perhaps I'm transferring that into worrying about the scan and every other aspect of the pregnancy.

Sorry this was more of a rant than anything and I'm not sure if it even makes sense as I read it back.

NeuroticFox1 Sun 26-Jul-15 16:02:33

Hiya just wanted to say that I too felt very anxious in lead up to 20wk scan I think it's very normal. You are under lots of other stress too so talking to your midwife is a good idea. Not sure if this is your first, but it is for me and at the scan they took us step by step through the process as they checked her anatomy and though it is always going to be worrying seeing your baby in detail is also helpful and reassuring. Good luck and do what you can to get the support you need, defo dont stress about stress. I have found antenatal yoga very helpful for managing my own pregnancy anxiety so might be worth a try? X

stupidgirl45 Sun 26-Jul-15 16:21:58

hugs I find 20 wk scans v nerve wracking too. I was a wreck last time and I am the same this time (scan 2nd Sept....)

It is so hard but so much of the time everything is fine and please don't worry that anything yoou've done, or the stress has harmed your baby.

It sounds like you've got a fair bit on your plate. Have you got any family or good friends who woould come to the scan instead to hold your hand - and celebrate when all is just fffine?

Will you find out the gender?


KittyandTeal Sun 26-Jul-15 16:32:11

20 week scans are a bit scary. And yes, they aren't a chance to see your baby waving or find out the sex, it's for medical professionals to find out if everything is as it should be.

However, having said that, please remember that the majority of 20week scans are absolutely fine (hence so many people calling them 'gender' scans)

As someone who has had very bad news at an anomaly scan I would say you generally have an inkling that something's not right before the scan. For example, my hormone levels were a bit off. It ended up worse than they thought but it wasn't going from 'it's all fine' to 'your baby will die' with no clue beforehand iyswim.

Cheshirehello79 Sun 26-Jul-15 17:55:03

Frills I was the same actually I made myself I'll because of all the worrying. I did put a blog " what's the worst that could happen on 20 weeks scan" had lots of responses might be good idea to read it- I m in similar situation with ex so understand where you're coming from . Good luck x

Frillsandspills Sun 26-Jul-15 18:16:37

Thank you everyone for all your kind words.
I paid for a private scan to find out the sex as I knew it wasn't actually what the 20 week scan is there for (it's my first to I imagine going into the scan for the sonographer to take measurements and me to leave) and I needed some reasurance too!

I found out I was having a boy so if they offer to double check I'll take them up on it. Although what's between the legs doesn't concern me as I realised at my private scan (I was so relieved to see him moving about and looking all baby like I complete forgot I'd actually paid for a sexing scan).

I've had lots of support from family and friends especially my exs family so I'm fine in that sense - they're really excited so I don't like to bog them down with my anxieties. My cousins baby was still born at about 31 weeks (her first) and her second baby was born at 27 weeks weighing 1lb 2oz and although she is a very healthy toddler now, I think seeing what my cousin went through which was really close to home has made me panic a little more. And I don't want to talk to family about it because it was a heartbreaking time for all of us seeing what she went through and I don't think they need reminding when they're all so happy for me.

Kitty I am so sorry for your loss flowers i really appreciate your reassurance.

I think perhaps I'm over thinking everything for one reason or another but it's comforting to know other people felt just as anxious. A lot of ladies I know who are pregnant (due around the same time as me) have said they felt so excited for their 20 week scan and I thought I was odd for being anxious. I think maybe it's the lack of movement I've been feeling too, once he gets a bit bigger and I can feel something a little more 'definite' I'll hopefully start relaxing a little!

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