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Pregnancy

How should I tell my partner?

9 replies

tazo15 · 21/07/2015 11:12

Hi, I'm new to this as I have only just found out I'm pregnant this morning! I'm in a bit of shock as I'm on the pill (rigevidon) and it was not planned at all, I've been getting some weird symptoms lately, including really sore boobs, and was about 2 days late so decided to take a test just to see.
I'm not sure how to feel yet, although I had a feeling I might be, seeing the positive test has freaked me out a bit! I don't understand how I got pregnant as I'm really good at taking the pill everyday.
The biggest thing I'm worried about is telling my partner, we are both 35 and have been together for nearly 5 years, we live together and have recently started talking about maybe trying for kids next year. However we have just started planning to go travelling for a few months at the beginning of next year, one last adventure before we totally settle down.
He's been so excited planning the trip, he's been wanting to do more travelling for years and it's all he talks about at the moment. I'm so worried about telling him and smashing his dreams, I would hate for him to feel trapped and think that I've done this on purpose so we can't go.
Has anyone else got pregnant on the pill? And how did you tell your partner? Any advice would be great, thanks ladies!

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Junosmum · 21/07/2015 11:17

You need to tell him. But you can still travel. You can do short haul flights with most carriers until 7.5months if you have a fit to fly note from your midwife so you could start out in a far flung destination and slowly make your way back to Europe.

You can also travel with a young child, particularly if you breastfeed!

You can of course choose not to continue with the pregnancy but you partner needs to be involved in that decision.

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hollyhoward · 21/07/2015 11:24

Hi, what a sensitive position to be in. I myself got pregnant with my first whilst on the pill. Even if you take it correctly, there are sometimes some things that can just interfere with how it works. If you have been with your partner for 5 years, you must know him pretty well by now and vice versa. If you really think hard about him and how he would react, I doubt you'd come to the conclusion that he would think you had done this on purpose to 'trap' him. If like to think that if you have a healthy relatiinship built on trust, that he would react entirely differently to this! You're just working yourself up and worrying yourself into beleiving that the worst case scenario is true of what will happen if you break the news. The only thing you can do, is sit him down and tell him that you're pregnant, explain everything and if he is a good guy he will understand and (hopefully) be pretty thrilled...after he's gotten over the shock! When I told my partner, he freaked out for a little bit as we had not planned it weren't ready at all. Afterwards though he was super excited, and now we're expecting our second baby (this on was planned lol) good luck!

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ijustwannadance · 21/07/2015 12:01

You are both 35 and together for 5 years and by already having the discussion about future babies you obviously intend to stay together. It may just mean your travel plans might be postponed. If you wait a year or 2 to try to conceive it may be more difficult. Things happen, it's not like you did in on purpose. Just tell him and go from there together.

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plonkie · 21/07/2015 12:09

You sound like a lovely sensitive person who is concerned about someone you love :-). And everything you said in your first post, you just need to relay to him. Tell him your reservations and concerns and you can discuss together your plan of action. This kinda happened to me in a way too. Fell pregnant on the pill about 3 years ago but it just wasn't the right time so we decided on a very early termination. But now I'm 30 weeks pregnant with a very planned pregnancy and very happy! Like a previous poster says, you can still travel and experience the world pregnant if you really wanted to (and if well enough). So its not necessarily a death sentence on fun! But I understand your concerns about his feelings. He might surprise you though :-)

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plonkie · 21/07/2015 12:09

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plonkie · 21/07/2015 12:09

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tazo15 · 21/07/2015 12:47

Thank you for your replies, I definitely have to tell him. I'm just dreading the look of disappointment on his face, but he is a lovely bloke so should hopefully come round to the idea once it has sunk in. Maybe we could still plan a smaller trip depending on how I am getting on? Termination is not an option, I just couldn't face that and I think ijustwannadance could be right, maybe we would've struggled to conceive if we leave it a couple more years?
I'm still in total shock but will see if I can have a chat with him tonight, one good thing is that he has a weekend away with some of his boys next weekend so he can go a bit crazy, some of his mates have babies now so maybe he will open up to them and they can tell him how great it could be?Wish me luck!

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ijustwannadance · 21/07/2015 13:33

Good luck!

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plonkie · 21/07/2015 15:15

Good luck :-) and give us an update!

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