I'm sorry if this is a bit long but would REALLY appreciate some advice. I'm 13 weeks with my first pregnancy and have suffered from terrible morning sickness for at least 8 weeks. I'm a PhD student which meant I was lucky in that I can work from home, but unlucky because I don't see or talk to anyone from one week to the next, especially when I'm too sick to leave the house most of the time. Its easing off now thankfully, but seems to have been replaced with terrible anxiety and stress. I'm stressed about my lack of progress with my study (I've fallen behind and cannot concentrate), money (I'm not entitled to maternity leave or benefit as I'm a student and my only option in order to keep my stipend money is to keep studying), housing (our small rented flat is unsuitable and yet we can't afford to move because rents have gone up. We were turned down for a mortgage too), but mostly - my lack of support. I live in my partners home town where he works in a job which doesn't pay much at the moment but has potential for advancement later on. Permanent jobs here are not easy to come across. I moved here 2 years ago but because I study from home and my university is in a different city I succeeded in making NO friends. My partner leaves for work at 8 and is back at 7 in the evening and takes any overtime he gets because we need the money. My family and friends live in my home town a 3 hours drive away. Up until now we've been perfectly happy - I was progressing with my study, I am very self-contained and usually had social events (in other towns) at weekends. I also travelled either with my partner or did overseas volunteering. So I never felt lonely. But now - everything will be different. I feel I will be totally unable to cope in the house by myself all day every day with a newborn and trying to study for a PhD. My partner tries so hard to be understanding, but he's so busy trying to earn enough money for us to move house that he is tired and stressed himself. The question is: should we move back to my home town where I will have support after the baby is born? To do so now will be detrimental to my partners career and short-term income. My family are poor and can't help us out with money or housing but will be there to help with babysitting. There are also other issues with moving such as changing birth plan. My sub-question is: does anyone think its possible to study a full-time PhD with no maternity leave and no help with a newborn baby? Maybe I'm worrying over nothing. My hormones are CRAZY so I'm not sure I'm even thinking straight!! Thanks for reading
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Pregnancy
pregnant - no friends or family except my partner - worried about loneliness and ability to cope
BBLucy1891 · 07/07/2015 09:18
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