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MILS mega F-UP! Ggggrrrrrr

(56 Posts)
MarilynMongoose Sun 05-Jul-15 22:54:34

So a few weeks ago MIL said she had taken 3 days off this coming week to look after our boys while I'm in hospital having my section. Baring in mind it's Sunday night now 2 days till I go into hospital she just told us about everything she has booked to do this week in London. She's decided not to stay over and help with tge boys and used the time she originally booked off to help out to book 2 days of sight seeing in London instead! I am fuming! Fucking fuming! I don't think I can actually take her seriously what is she playing at???

Bucketandshpade Sun 05-Jul-15 22:55:46

What did she say when you pointed out how utterly unhelpful that is?

MarilynMongoose Sun 05-Jul-15 22:58:04

Dh just asked her if she could cancel her plans and stay round as she told us she would and she said she's paid for tickets etc to go up the shard in London or whatever and can't! !! Like seriously what the fuck???

TopCivilServant Sun 05-Jul-15 23:00:33

What!? I'd be furious. Does she know how angry you are?

ACSlater Sun 05-Jul-15 23:00:40

She's not staying at yours, is she?!

Lovepancakes Sun 05-Jul-15 23:00:41

She doesn't have to look after your boys but she certainly shouldn't make you think she is and then not! Especially right beforehand and in these circs! I feel for you and if I were you I'd feel like saying how hard this is as she'd said she'd help and hasn't warned you she's changed her plan- is there any chance you misunderstood her? Does she have form for this sort of thing? I hope you're ok and have someone to call on for help

Bucketandshpade Sun 05-Jul-15 23:01:40

So she's totally forgotten that she is meant to be minding your children? Is she usually so forgetful? Or is she thinking she'll head over mid week when she's Done London?

You need to ask her some very direct questions! (Ideally without effing!grin)

MarilynMongoose Sun 05-Jul-15 23:15:57

This is my 3rd section she knows the drill! Plus with a 4 & 1 year old we were relying on her help! It's going to be so hard now as its also my mums last week at the school she's been teaching at for 30 years as she's retiring on the Friday so sods law she can't help much! I just don't get it and dh is so soft with Mil and wouldn't be firm with her or say look you did say you were staying for the few days to help!

Bucketandshpade Sun 05-Jul-15 23:24:00

She must have misunderstood the dates and may be mortified when she realises. Can't you just ring her?

MummyPiggy87 Sun 05-Jul-15 23:37:09

Is she not taking the kids to London too? If not then as she's left you in the shit, she should.
I would be well angry.
There are child minders out there that are fully qualified maybe you could get someone in, tell her that and she prob won't like it and say she'll do it.

ostrichneck Mon 06-Jul-15 09:32:16

can see why you'd be a bit peeved but not why you would be fucking fuming - t's not her duty to do it so there is no reason to say she knows the drill What would you do if she wasn't around in the first place.... You sound a bit hormonal dear.

Appleblossom82 Mon 06-Jul-15 09:37:46

Id be fucking fuming too if she had said she would look after the kids while you had your section and then merrily changed her mind days before, dropping you all in the shit. I would definitely be speaking to her about it.

Houseworkavoider Mon 06-Jul-15 09:42:00

I would also be fuming!
What an arse hole!
Angry is not going to help you now though.
You need to talk to your local friends or maybe a childminder/ nanny.
You will be fine even without child care. Not ideal, but it will work out. flowers

Velociraptor Mon 06-Jul-15 09:45:38

Bloody hell, she really has dropped you in it, hasn't she. Have you pointed that out to her? It seems like a really odd thing to do, if she is normally helpful?

shattered77 Mon 06-Jul-15 09:45:46

Outrageous! What's she playing at?? What has she actually said? Ostrich, the mil had agreed to have the kids whilst the mum and dad are in hospital, she can't then change her mind two days before cos she fancies sight-seeing in London! Madness!

Appleblossom82 Mon 06-Jul-15 09:50:21

If that were me and she went ahead with her plans i would struggle to forgive her. Would be very frosty after that.

BiddyPop Mon 06-Jul-15 09:50:48

I presume she is not staying with you while she does her tourist thing?

Sounds very off, did she give any reason for changing the plans?

Hope all goes well anyway.

Donthate Mon 06-Jul-15 09:53:47

How bizarre! Will your DH have to look after your boys?

Gileswithachainsaw Mon 06-Jul-15 09:55:02

completely her right to have said no when you first asked. but this is beyond selfish to back out with no warning. how are you supposed to find help at this late stage.

She's been extremely selfish..of she didn't want to do it she shouldn't have agreed in the first place or given you more notice.

I'd be pissed too

SomewhereIBelong Mon 06-Jul-15 09:57:16

If she's that changeable/forgetful would just have DH look after the kids anyway whilst you get on with the baby... get someone to watch them for the actual birth, then he can be hands on deck...

NinjaPanda34 Mon 06-Jul-15 10:03:48

I'd be saying, "great! So what time shall we say for you to pick up the children to go sightseeing?"

Baguettes Mon 06-Jul-15 10:11:28

Seriously? Fucks sake. She cannot be for real...

ScorpioMermaid Mon 06-Jul-15 12:25:50

I'd be furious aswell. If she didn't want to do it she should have said so ages ago not in the same week. That's unacceptable. hope you manage to sort something and it all goes well. I'm hopefully being induced on Friday smile

DixieNormas Mon 06-Jul-15 12:39:11

Id be fucking fuming too

MarilynMongoose Mon 06-Jul-15 12:55:47

I am.fucking fuming because she offered to look after my boys before we could ask her so she offered. I'm just so disappointed with her! My poor mum has had to ask for the next few days off work unpaid to have the boys and it's her last week at work as she's retiring on Friday. What a total mess. Dh is too soft on Mil but next time she comes round I'm going to lay into her. Every time we have seen her recently she has talked about coming to stay to look after the boys I just cannocannot ve she has dropped us all in it lol. I have NO idea what has happened and dh is angry too he wouldn't say boo to her if you know what I mean!

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