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Patronising woman at work

(11 Posts)
willyoujustshutup Sat 04-Jul-15 11:49:45

Have NC so as not to out myself at work.

I have a DS already and am pregnant with DS2. Everyone at work (we work in quite a close environment and it's a small-ish business) seems very positive and excited for me, except for 1 woman. She has 2 teenage children, a boy and a girl, and tells me at every possible opportunity how horrible boys are, and that she feels sorry for me having to bring 2 of them up.

She has also started giving me examples of how things in everyday life are 'preparing you for becoming a parent', as if I'm not already. She's even started getting other older members of staff with grown up children involved to explain to me how difficult it is. She makes comments like 'oh you think it's hard when they're babies but wait till they're teens,' and 'I wouldn't want to be you in 12 years time!'.

It seems like she thinks that because I have not yet experienced my child as a teenager I am not as qualified to call myself a 'parent' as she is.

I have tried to keep my mouth shut with her so as not to upset the apple cart at work, but after she told me my sons would be a 'nightmare' to get to go to school, and when they did they would 'always be in trouble for never doing their homework, and back-chatting teachers', I had a bit of a snap at her and explained in situations like that it's probably more to do with the child's upbringing that with the actual child, so I'm confident my sons won't behave like that! (I know I should have just kept my mouth shut) This seems to have got her back up and I have been sat here today taking a barrage of criticism from her.

Anyone else had to put up with such stupidity? How can I ignore it without becoming a hormonal bubbling/screaming mess?

GlitzAndGigglesx Sat 04-Jul-15 11:52:15

Smile and nod it's the only way

swashbucklecheer Sat 04-Jul-15 11:53:01

I probably would have said the same to her too. Jus keep in mind her difficulties reflect more on her rather than being the same for everyone. Congratulations btw

Iloveonionchutney Sat 04-Jul-15 11:55:46

Oh god she sounds a nightmare, I'd have probably snapped at her too, I mean what does she expect you to do about having boys exactly?confused
Congratulations, maybe best to ignore and she might get bored.

MissMartin10 Sat 04-Jul-15 11:59:43

it sounds like she is jealous because your newly pregnant and people are probably making a fuss of you and are actually happy for you! i would have probably snapped alot worse tbh.. you always get someone like that don't you. . they can't be happy for others! don't worry about her.. just ignore her that would annoy her more haha... hope she stops soon! !

TwoDrifters Sat 04-Jul-15 12:01:27

Sympathetic head tilt, shocked wide eyes and an "Oh my word, your children do sound hard work, I'm so sorry. Are you coping ok? Do you have support at home?" Every time. Until she stops.

MissMartin10 Sat 04-Jul-15 12:11:48

two haha! great idea grin

nicnicspicnic Sat 04-Jul-15 12:19:17

I can remember when I told someone that I was having another boy ( I had 2 already) they sighed and said 'oh dear - never mind!' Some people are just thoughtless and rude. And my 3 boys are angels at school (noisy so and sos at home...) but they know how to behave. Think two had the best idea. I might be using that one in the future.

VoldemortsNipple Sat 04-Jul-15 12:20:33

Good for you OP. You're colleague sound like she's having a rough time with her own dcs at the moment but that's no reason to rain on your parade. I have teens and yes sometimes they can be hard work or down right nasty. But they also be lovely and caring, witty and funny. At least you can get a break from your teenagers. They don't follow you to the bathroom every time and you can go out to the shop by yourself.

Raveismyera Sat 04-Jul-15 12:22:26

My husband has a theory that people who constantly tell
You how awful
Children are are the ones who didn't want them (theory sourced from BIL who whilst a loving father constantly tells you how hard and awful it is and didn't want any of his) since then I confess I have noticed a pattern

willyoujustshutup Sat 04-Jul-15 12:23:37

two I love it!

Ilove I was also confused about the boy thing! (Especially since when I found out number 2 was also a boy I was secretly over the moon!)

Another colleague has just found out her daughter is having a baby boy (her first grandson) so she keeps looking at this woman like hmm.

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