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Pregnancy

Wedding at 36 weeks - would you go?

28 replies

ginzillas · 03/07/2015 22:26

I have a dilemma. My cousin is getting married when I'm 36 weeks pregnant. The wedding is a four hour drive or three hour train journey away from where we live.

DH can't go as it's midweek and he can't take time off work. To complicate matters, three year old DD starts nursery school that week. Her induction is the day after the wedding.

So I'd need to get her and myself back the following morning (induction is at lunchtime). My parents have said that they may be able to give is a lift back as I'm not comfortable driving long distances (I'd get the train there before the wedding). Otherwise my mum would probably come back with us on the train.

I really don't want to miss it but is it crazy to try to do this? I need to reply to the invite soon and feel so torn. My worry is that it might be hot, I already have quite a bad back which is worsened by long journeys, DH won't be there and most importantly I don't want DD to be tired and cranky for her nursery induction.

What would you do?

So

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weelamb123 · 03/07/2015 22:32

I was going to say if it was close then yes, why not, but given its some distance away and dh cant go then I'd give it a miss. Ud probably be fine but day something happens, early labour etc, dh would be hours away from u. Xx

weelamb123 · 03/07/2015 22:33

say something happened

ftmsoon · 03/07/2015 22:33

I don't think it's crazy to try. But I think you need to be realistic that it may not come off as you plan. I went to a wedding at 39 weeks with pfb but it was only 30mins away and DH drove. We also went to a family gathering at 36 weeks that was 3hour drive but again DH drove.

Gillian1980 · 03/07/2015 22:33

Hmmm, it's a tricky one and depends a lot on how your pregnancy has been.

Personally I wouldn't go by myself as mine has had complications. I'm not even sure that I'd go with my DH as it's so far from the hospital if anything did happen.

We accepted a wedding invite for 37 weeks but it's only 1.5 hours away and minutes away from a big hospital so I thought it would be ok. Still feel nervous about it though!

Have you had a straight forward pregnancy?

StandoutMop · 03/07/2015 22:37

I went to a wedding 5+ hours away at 38 weeks but was able to stay at my parents, dh was with me and had no pressure to return as you will, or other DC to consider.

But, in your shoes, I'd still try to go if its what you'd like to do.

ThreeFrazzledFandangos · 03/07/2015 22:37

I wouldn't go to one that far away under those circumstances.

Closer, yes. If you could take your time getting back, yes. But that all just sounds like a massive pita!

Guyropes · 03/07/2015 22:38

I'm 36 weeks and not going to a wedding tomorrow. I decided last week though on the basis that I would find d the same length journey too uncomfortable.

You could give a partial acceptance and ask if it's ok to confirm neArer the time?

I'm sure the nursery induction could be changed .

How many weeks away is this wedding?

ginzillas · 03/07/2015 22:38

That's what I'm thinking. I'm under the care of a consultant although that mar change and I go back to midwife led care. So actually they might say I shouldn't travel anyway. I'm not sure as it's different from my first pregnancy.

If DD's induction wasn't the next day I'd probably chance it but I want her first day at nursery to be happy rather than stressful
l because she's just had a long journey. I think I've got to put her first. I just feel bad because a few people can't go as it is a midweek wedding bi

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ginzillas · 03/07/2015 22:39

I'm having a nightmare posting from my phone which is why my posts keep ending a bit randomly mid sentence...

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ginzillas · 03/07/2015 22:44

Apparently the induction can't be changed. It's for all the children and parents to meet the headmistress and look around before they start their first official day without parents. I really don't want DD to miss it. If it wasn't for that I probably would go. So many people are dropping out of the wedding due to it being midweek and I feel bad for my cousin. I really would love to go. Having said that she has children and missed my wedding for a child related issue (which I understood) so I think she'd understand.

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AbbeyRoadCrossing · 03/07/2015 22:59

As others have said it depends how your pregnancy is going. It's really up to you, if it would stress you out so you don't enjoy it then perhaps I wouldn't go.

I had DS at 36 weeks (I had low lying placenta) so am getting nervous about a wedding at 32 weeks even though I don't have it this time! I've looked up where the hospital is a and am taking my notes and bag though, so you could do that if it reassures you?

WiIdfire · 03/07/2015 23:04

I did go to one 3 hours away at 36+3, took bags and car seat with us. However, the bride was quite understanding that I was going to decide a day or two before and was happy with that - if you do go, you need to check your cousin wont go bridezilla if you cancel last minute.

ginzillas · 03/07/2015 23:04

It would be a nightmare if I went into labour without DH there although my parents would be there. DD was a week overdue but I know that doesn't mean DC2 will be!

Pregnancy going ok apart from my dodgy back. I'm under consultant care and having extra growth scans and check ups because I had low BMI (only just though and they've admitted I'm healthy - they're just following procedure).

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ginzillas · 03/07/2015 23:07

Wildfire, she's very chilled so I doubt a bridezilla scenario but when I told her I was pregnant the first thing she asked was whether I could still come to the wedding. And I went 'yeah, of course!' Without thinking it through..

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HarvestMoon9 · 04/07/2015 08:14

I was a bridesmaid at 36 weeks but the wedding was just under an hour away. I think in principle, if you're feeling well, going to the wedding at that stage isn't too much of a problem, but with your daughter's school induction so close as well it might be just too complicated and this would put me off.

When I was a bridesmaid I had to leave the wedding pretty early as I was do tired and there'd been lots of standing, so swollen ankles! Luckily the bride was pretty understanding. Was quite nice to get dressed up and have a day out at that stage of pregnancy though.

NoMontagues · 04/07/2015 08:30

For me, the pregnancy wouldn't be an issue but DD's induction would.

I think having a nice, calm and organised morning and then taking her into nursery on time, no stress etc would be paramount for me, and would have to come before a cousin's wedding.

Lunastarfish · 04/07/2015 08:34

If it was local I'd go. 3 hours away - no chance!

ginzillas · 04/07/2015 08:35

Nomontagues I think you've hit the nail on the head. I want her to have a lovely first experience of school, not a rushed nightmare. Thank you.

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NoMontagues · 04/07/2015 09:22

OhEmGeee · 04/07/2015 10:01

I went to a party overnight, 2 hours away. Just took my hospital notes and bag. Looked into which hospitals were nearby. Dh was with me though, as well as our 2 year old. Not sure I would have done it on my own.

MissTwister · 04/07/2015 10:16

I wouldn't go - am 36 weeks now and just the thought of all that rushing around is stressing me out!!

Ahardmanisgoodtofind · 04/07/2015 10:28

I went to a wedding at 36weeks, I left ds home with dp, and left early (before night do)it was nice to see my extended family,and be waited on hand and foot for the day to be honest.The bride and groom were so happy I'd made the effort,and so was i. The wedding was an hour away and the reception took us another 2.5hours to get too (we hired a mini bus,dp picked up Me and another family member while ds was asleep at home with gp babysitting)

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ginzillas · 04/07/2015 10:44

MissTwister it's been stressing me too! I can't remember how I felt at 36 weeks but I think I was breathless, tired and quite crabby!

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Runningupthathill82 · 04/07/2015 13:52

I'd go. But then I went to a big family do 2hrs from home, the day before my due date. I was feeling fine so didn't see it as an issue.

blowinahoolie · 04/07/2015 13:59

Due to all your circumstances I'd give it a miss, there's no point stressing about it if you don't really have to be there.

I got married at 33 weeks pregnant with DC1. I didn't feel too bad then, but only had my wedding day to think about, and nothing else!

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