Why is getting pregnant so hard now?

[BettyHB]

Hi, looking for some advice here from anyone who got pregnant easily the first one/few times but had a struggle afterwards?
We've 2 kids, I've had 2 miscarriages, one after dd1 and 1 after dd2 4 months ago.
I'm 36. We're ttc big time since the last mc & no joy. I'm wondering if the mc has screwed things up? Is my age the issue maybe? I'm using opk's and everything is tallying. On all 4 pregnancies I got preg 1st month and I'm not for a second taking for granted how blessed we are to have our 2. 4 months ttc isn't long but given my age and life circumstances I don't want to delay hopefully having another baby. Any advice greatly appreciated!

[BarbieBrightSide]

It's so frustrating, isn't it?

I was very similar to you, but had my first dc at age 35, (took 3 months of ttc) then had a nice two year gap before ttc a second child. Nothing after a year and given my age I got a referral where they said I had 'secondary infertility'. In other words they didn't know why I wasn't getting pregnant as all the tests came back ok (Day 20 (I think, it was a while ago!) progesterone, ovarian reserve, hysterosalpingogram).

I had a chemical pregnancy after 24 months and finally got my BFP in month 36 of ttc and at age 40. They are now very nearly 5...

I did find the book 'Taking charge of your fertility' by Toni Weschler really informative. Good luck!

[Blackandwhitecat3]

Hi Betty, you were very lucky to get pregnant so quickly with you DCs, and yes, 4months isn't long at all ttc. You are only 36 so you have plenty of time.

The nhs will now refer over 35s for tests after 6 months ttc, so if you've not struck you lucky in the next couple of months, I would see your GP. They will start with some blood tests and scans to check for different things including cysts etc.

Obviously if there is anything that might affect your fertility such as bmi, stress, diet, OH wearing tight pants (!) etc. then that's worth doing something with in the meantime.

Good luck!

[Newtobecomingamum]

Hi, I had MC then a successful pregnany. Now pregnant again with second, however took a good few months! The month where I had resided myself it wasn't going to happen or was going to take some time... And the month that we only did it twice! I fell pregnant!

I seriously believe that you can over stres yourself and body with over thinking and trying to concieve too much.

Both times now I have fell pregnant had been when I haven't been trying, just accepted it would happen when it happens.

I think carry on trying but you have to (easier said than done) try and relax and not over think worry about it. It will happen when your body is ready. Best of luck and I hope it happens soon for you

[ByeByeButterfly]

It might be your genes (if other females in your family struggled conceiving when a bit older). But they say 35+ can be quite hard to conceive as fertility starts to drop in early 30s. Have you been offered any investigations?

I was the opposite - took 2 years the first time and 2 months the second time round.

I hope someone with more experience can share there take with you.

[StonedGalah]

Black i don't think saying at 36 you have plenty of time is true.

I fell pregnant with dd1 first weekend of trying when l was 32. Dd2 took over a year and 2 mc. I am now 28 weeks and just turned 38.

I think the older you get the harder it is, but not impossible.

[Cheshirehello79]

Well they say current lifestyle/ foods- preservatives/ stress etc might be a factor.


Quite good question Betty as don't understand how our grandparents had babies after babies no ivf and life was tougher then .. Well my mum is one of 10 children and 2 years gap each.

[Blackandwhitecat3]

Stoned I'm 39 and it took two years, but I'm pg. it's not too late.

[WorldsBiggestGrotbag]

I'm 30, conceived DD after 14 months at 28 with no fertility issues. Sometimes it just takes a while.

[StonedGalah]

You said plenty of time - it's just stupid to think that's going to be the case for most people.

[StonedGalah]

Oh sorry Black I think you mean plenty of time ttc not holding off ttc

[seriouslynonames]

took 3 months with dc1 and 2.5 years with dc2 (currently 26 weeks).

Like a PP, I was also diagnosed with secondary infertility and after 2 years had moved on to IUI. had two rounds, both failed, and was awaiting 3rd round when finally got pregnant naturally. very stressful and frustrating time, so completely understand that you're worried after only 4 months.

but that really isn't very long, so give it a bit more time before you worry. you may get some investigations on the NHS but doubt you would get treatment as you already have children. if nothing in a few more months you could self-refer privately for tests if you can afford it. The tests don't come cheap though.... and there may well be nothing wrong, just a matter of time / timing.

good luck, no reason to think you won't get there soon

[BettyHB]

Girls, you are such a fabulous support, thanks for your great messages, I'm a newbie here, was afraid I might offend some people are are ttc #1 with my moaning after having 2. Thanks for being a great help with this xx

[Blackandwhitecat3]

Betty ttc can be hard for everyone, no matter how many DCs you have. It's something we have so little control over.

Good luck to you, hope to see you on the ante-natal threads before too long x