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Unsympathetic manager - anyone else in the same boat?!

(12 Posts)
SchnitzelvonKrumm12 Thu 02-Jul-15 18:37:25

I'm currently 10 weeks pg, have a DD (3) and really struggling!
Have been off work since mon due to sickness, sheer exhaustion and generally feeing rubbish. It then emerged during a gp appt on Tues I had a UTI - dr advised I self certify until end of week, to be reassessed Monday and signed off if needed.
My manager rang today after I spoke to her yesterday, requesting I come back to work tomorrow as I should be feeling well enough after 48 hrs of antibiotics. I feel so cross as she is also pregnant and feel she is being completely unsympathetic. For me UTI's are serious, as by the time they are diagnosed my infection levels are very high as I don't show usual symptoms - DDs premature birth (32+4) was the result of an undiagnosed UTI.
Can this go down as pg related? -have already had other sickness periods (pg related - threatened mc & severe sickness) as I have a feeling they're going to push for disciplinary.
Unfortunately they're not very clued up on maternity rights - insist on me swapping shifts and making the time up for appts, no risk assessment (or mention of associated risks) and assign me as key worker to challenging and sometimes violent children.
Sorry for the rant - just looking for some solidarity really as feeling really deflated by the whole situation. I'm dreading going back!

3littlefrogs Thu 02-Jul-15 18:42:43

Your manager has no right to query or override your GP's advice.
Nothing is more important than your health and that of your baby.

Newtobecomingamum Thu 02-Jul-15 18:46:27

Contact Maternity Action who will give you all the advice you need and facts you can pass onto your employer re your rights

Hippymama1 Thu 02-Jul-15 18:47:32

Get your doctor to sign you off.

Make a note of EVERYTHING that they say to you, including this phone call from your manager. I am pretty sure that your manager can't ask you to return to work within the self cert period.

You are entitled to time off for some appointments - I am sure someone much more qualified than me will be able to advise which ones...

Whatever happens, don't hand in your notice but do be prepared to raise a grievance and pursue it - not being clued up on maternity rights doesn't give your manager or the company the right to break the law.

Do you have a HR department?


Fizrim Thu 02-Jul-15 18:48:13

You are entitled to time off for appointment after you have told your employer that you are pregnant

It would be up to your GP to say whether the sickness is pregnancy-related I would think, obviously if it is then you have a bit more protection.

Were the other sickness period with an earlier pregnancy?

MagicAlwaysLeadsToTrouble Thu 02-Jul-15 18:50:00

I think the "pregnancy related" bit is too subjective to be honest.
I was off for 2 days with a sickness bug and it wasn't down as pregnancy related but I tried to argue that it impacted me more because I am pregnant and wiped me out for 2 days which it wouldn't have done if I wasn't pregnant. My manager disagreed and said vomiting not pregnantcy related sad

I don't know who officially should decide if an illness is pregnancy related or not!

ARV1981 Thu 02-Jul-15 18:51:19

I second 3littlefrogs.

Note down everything that's happening (lack of risk assessment, insisting you make up time for antenatal appointments etc) - you may need a record. If they've insisted any of this in email/writing, then keep a copy.

I don't know if the uti can go down as pg related. I expect that's down to what they put on your drs note if you get one.

I hope you feel better soon. flowers

ARV1981 Thu 02-Jul-15 18:51:51

Ah cross posted! grin

SunbathingCat Thu 02-Jul-15 18:56:43

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Skiptonlass Thu 02-Jul-15 19:21:56

Back up all those conversations with email. All of them. "As per our phone conversation today, you requested I return to work on x, however, the advice of my GP is.." "I initially requested a risk assessment on..." Etc. Blah blah.

Your boss is treading on thin ice.

Brummiegirl15 Thu 02-Jul-15 19:52:47

I've also seen at my workplace if a manager/ other colleague is pregnant and having a very easy pregnancy it can make them very unsympathetic ( defo if first baby) that they think "well I'm ok and getting on with it why isn't she" which is a terrible attitude and sadly seen it more than once.

In fact have seen it with lots of pregnant women who have never struggled have very little sympathy with those that are having difficulties - simply because they've never experienced it

SchnitzelvonKrumm12 Thu 02-Jul-15 20:06:03

Thanks all.
Will make sure I make note of all conversations, get some advice on maternity rights and get a note from my gp.
I will be able to raise these concerns during my 'back to work review' on Monday.
I believe it is completely pregnancy related as I've never had a UTI - other than in my last pregnancy but will get my gp to confirm this.
The other sickness periods were during this pregnancy. I've really tried to pull myself through it but I'm doing long shifts (7:30-5:30) as they keep putting my down for unwanted overtime! I'm just exhausted which really makes my sickness unmanageable as it's evening and into the middle of the night which is not helpful, as it makes me even more sleep deprived! This is all without even mentioning my on/off bleeding, which is ongoing, to which they have no understanding of - just a 'get on with it' approach.
Unless they start listening to me - I'll have no choice but to be signed off because my body can't cope with it.

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