4 months pregnant and I weigh less than before I was pregnant..?

[Frillsandspills]

Hi,
I'll be 16 weeks tomorrow (yay) so I had my 16 week appointment yesterday and explained to my midwife id been having some stress at home with my OH leaving. Because of this I've not eaten too well which has caused fainting spells one in which resulted in my falling down the stairs unable to stop myself because I was so passed out, which was a big wake up call for me to look after myself for the sake of my baby.

My midwife weighed me yesterday and I weighed 2 kilos less than I did when I was 8 weeks, although at 8 weeks I weighed the same as I always have.
My midwife seemed quite concerned as really I should be putting weight on if not remaining the same definitely not losing it. I have to see her at 20 weeks rather than wait til 24 weeks because she wants to make sure my weight goes up (as do I) because she doesn't want to start referring me for growth scans or a dietitian as she knows my lack of eating is due to a lot of stress.

It's only been this past week it's really got to me so she's not too worried about the baby as she said from what little I've eaten the baby will have taken everything it needs there just won't be anything left for me hence the fainting.

I just wondered if anyone had any advice on what food to eat to help me put weight on? But not really fatty foods like takeaway as I'm not a fan? I'm not too clued up if I'm honest when it comes to putting weight ON. Although saying that I've never gone out my way to try and lose weight either. I'm just worried that as a size 8 and I have been since I was about 15, I don't want to be losing any weight as I'm not sure where I'm even losing it from especially since I'm pregnant when I should be gaining weight.
I do have quite a fast metabolism and I do feel quite stupid at the minute not knowing how to put a few lbs on which doesn't involve stuffing myself with pizza and cake, i think myself and my midwife would be a lot happier if I was a tad heavier.

[Emergencynumberbee]

maybe you could just increase your portion sizes a bit? eat some pasta, with healthy sauce if you're not keen on cream based sauces?

Big salads with cheese and olive oil?

Lots of bread?

[contractor6]

28 weeks and still 3kgs lighter. However mine was due to sickness. Midwife doesn't seem concerned as baby seems fine. I was a tad overweight before. Rather than fatty foods can you eat good fats, eg avocados. Also get more of your fluids through mil, rather than filling up with water? Nuts are good protein source and high calorie?

[flanjabelle]

Calorie dense foods are your friend. Peanut butter, cheese, chocolate if you fancy it!

[Letmegetanamechange]

Agree with Emergency, increase portion sizes.

Do you use low fat versions of food like low fat yogurt or light margarine? If so you could switch to the full fat versions, and eat plenty of good fats like avocados and nuts?

I've never had the struggle of putting on weight (losing it is a different story) but I had a good friend who massively struggled to gain weight, so I can imagine how hard it is.

I hope you feel better soon

[Frillsandspills]

Thank you everyone - I'm so clueless.

I eat full fat everything to be honest perhaps I do need to just eat more of it. I think because I've not eaten so much lately and surviving on about 1 meal a day with a few snacks for the past week my stomach has shrunk a little so I'm finding it hard to eat a lot

I was thinking eating little and often I just wasn't sure what to actually eat. I love salad especially in this weather but I'm worried I'll not put too much weight on, but then a nice full fat dressing and some bread could help with that.

I think that's another thing too - with it being really warm I lose my appetite, and my midwife said I'm dehydrated so I've been trying to drink more but I just get full on liquid rather than food. I've got myself all in a tiz at the minute!

[LittleMissRayofHope]

Through both my pregnancies I lost weight. My morning sickness was so severe I often didn't manage to finish a meal before puking it back up!
So on that note I wouldn't worry too much.
Your midwife is likely more worried about the reason your not eating. Obviously she wants you to eat but as its stress that is stopping you eating that is her concern.

Agree with others that you should increase portions.
Or if that is too difficult just graze all day. Have food and fruits and cheese, sandwiches, Health bars etc around the place and just eat all the time!!
Foods like pasta, jacket potatoes, rice etc. cheeses.
Even ice cream, cakes or desserts!

Sorry about your split, do you have any family close by or a friendly support network?

[Emergencynumberbee]

I was thinking eating little and often

That's more of a weight loss technique than a weight gain technique. I know, having tried to do both at different points in my life! You want three decent-sized meals a day to put on weight, plus snacks. They don't have to be really unhealthy - you could try things like pitta bread and hummus, nuts, bits of cheese on crackers etc.

I know it's hard when your appetite isn't great but honestly the more you eat the hungrier you get, so if you can just struggle through for a few days you'll find it easier. I did, anyway.

[Reiltin]

I lost a stone and three pounds in my first trimester. I put on a stone and four pounds over the rest of my pregnancy. Baby & I are both fine. You'll start eating more as you get further through your pregnancy - it took me a while to get back to eating properly. Good luck with the next five months

[Frillsandspills]

Ah thank you it's comforting to know others lost weight too, most people I know moan about the weight they put on during pregnancy so I didn't half worry myself.

I do have lots of support both from my family and his even though he doesn't seem to want to know right now, I'm just happy his family are supporting me and they're really not happy with him just leaving.

ok, so three big meals a day it is! (Plus snacks). Gosh I'm usually such a food lover and yesterday my mum made me a big bowl of curry and all I ate was some pitta bread. I felt so rude and now I wish I'd have just finished the whole bowl to get myself out of this cycle of not wanting to eat.

I may treat myself to lots of cake actually

[Emergencynumberbee]

frills sorry you are having a hard time, to you. I know how hard it is to eat properly when you are suffering emotionally. Don't beat yourself up about it. Just keep trying. Doesn't matter if you have a bad day where you don't manage to eat much, just make up for it the next day :)

And yes, lots of cake :) and cheese, cheese, cheese!

[flanjabelle]

Start drinking smoothies too. add in full fat yoghurt/milk and peanut butter if you can.

[contractor6]

Liquid food will be easier with reduced tummy, try a banana/peanut butter and milk whizzed up in blender (if poss have frozen bananas in freezer)
Sorry about OH leaving, I missed that on original message. Hope that you are getting some rl support. Just remember you and baby are the most important things.

[Lunastarfish]

I lost a lot of weight with morning sickness. Even now at 38 weeks I only weigh 1/2 stone more than my booking appointment. Midwife has never mentioned it (& I'm overweight so not complaining).

I haven't actually found that I'm that hungry during pregnancy. I have my moments when I feast but in general 3 meals a day is all I have. Sometimes I have cheese and grapes as an afternoon snack and an somewhat partial to a McDonald's milkshake.

[Junosmum]

I've lost 6.5lbs because I simply cannot eat the same volume as I used to and I'm not hungry enough to snack and if I snack anyway I feel sick.

Try eating 3 proper meals today and 3 snacks until you put the weight on you've lost. If you can't stomach eating then try fortified drinks (any drink made with full fat milk) so milky decaf coffee, milkshake, glass of milk etc.

[SweepTheHalls]

I haven't put any weight on either, no problems, but equally the baby is the size of a lemon right now, (14weeks) so I regard it as a blessing that I won't have as much weight to shift at the end!

[TranmereRover]

were you a drinker beforehand? maybe it's simply quitting alcohol that's made you lose weight and you don't need to adjust your food intake at all. There's no need to gain great amounts of weight - read Gowri Motha's theory on why there are so many interventions in western births - she says the only weight gain "needed" is 1.5 stone over the whole pregnancy and that's quite common for people who start off slim like you. Possibly worth an appointment with your GP to discuss it, but it's perfectly likely to lose quite a significant amount of weight over a few months if you've cut out 400 calories of wine a day, & that's not weight you need to put back on.
oh and little / often makes a lot of sense in this scenario as when everything's getting a bit squashed inside, you'll feel full much quicker.
Don't add to stress by stressing about your weight!

[PosterEh]

The lost weight in both my pregnancies because I had to follow a gd diet. In my second I was lighter at full term than before I conceived (and I wasn't overweight to start). But I was eating "clever" and as nutritiously as possible - lots of veg and nuts, avocados, pulses etc. I don't think losing weight itself is a problem but the fainting etc is. Could you try and get in the mindset of food as fuel/nutrients and treat it as essential medicine.

[Blackandwhitecat3]

Hello Frills congratulations on your pregnancy and sorry to hear you've been having a tough time of it.

I think the most important thing is to get some food down and try not to worry. There is lots of good advice here on more calorie-rich foods. Mw advised me to try to drink my fluids between meals so I don't fill up on then at mealtimes. Everything is very squashed in there and our stomachs have shrunk.

I'm finding it difficult to eat much through lingering ms and what appears to be a tiny stomach (I'm 12 weeks). My weight stayed exactly as at LMP through my first 10 weeks, although I was aware I'd put on a ring of fat round my belly/bum. Then in the last two weeks I've shed 4lbs!

I think if you force yourself to eat/let yourself feel guilty about not eating much, you'll feel worse. Just try to keep eating regularly, and listen to what your body feels like. If it wants cake, eat cake! One step at a time, try to increase your calories. You'll get there xxxxxx

[Skiptonlass]

I lost about 11 lb through sickness the first trimester and I've not had a huge appetite since - still quite nauseous at 24 weeks! I've definitely put back on what I lost but it's all tits and bump - everyone is different and as long as you're eating ok I would not worry too much. You just need to make sure you are eating regularly - fainting isn't nice (did a fair bit of that in trimester one!)

How about some nice things which you can make richer, like homemade fish pie and put lots of cream and butter in the mash topping? Or making sure you have two good sized snacks as well as your meals? Things like pasta dishes can be enriched easily with olive oil, or add an avocado or smoked salmon to your salads or sandwiches?

Definitely little and often too, I'm now eating what I can manage of my dinner, popping the rest in the fridge and going back to it after an hour or so - helps with that baby- squished stomach!

[Hophop987]

I don't think you should be trying to look for fatty foods to gain weight. The reason you lost weight is because you are not having enough meals. 1 meal a day is not sufficient to keep your body going. You don't have to put enormous amount of weight during pregnancy but you have to eat at least 3 proper meals to make sure you get enough nutrients and energy. So just increase your daily food to 3 normal meals as a minimum and you will start gaining weight or at least will keep it stable.

[warriorbot]

I have had sudden weight drops in the past for similar reasons. I found that having meal replacement shakes but treating them as an extra meal really helped! They're easy to make, easy to keep down, and easier to face than a big plate of pasta in this heat!

[Frillsandspills]

Thank you for all your help.
I think I'm thinking in to the whole putting weight on thing a bit too much and really I should concentrate on what the best food is to eat to give me all the nutrients I need perhaps. I think my mw is more worried about the lack of eating than the weight drop, and the dehydration too. I'm just finding it hard to eat in the morning really. I wake up and if I've felt sad or had a message form my ex OH I get a sort of constant nervous feeling and it puts me right off eating.

As of last night he's blocked my number so I don't have to worry about any of that any more but it's still sad that years worth of time and affection with someone has suddenly just ended because we created a little life. Sorry I'm going off on one here I can't help but moan.

Food, drink (non alcoholic of course) and lots of (positive) energy from now on!

[contractor6]

Frills, that's the spirit, we've all been at the end of a bad relationship where you have that awful sensation in pit of stomach and all want to wallow. But just remember you will get through this and about Christmas time will have the absolutely best present ever.

[Frillsandspills]

Thank you contractor that's what I keep reminding myself! As silly as it sounds it's easy to forget when you can't really feel movement and such, although I've had the odd flutter I think when I feel something a little more 'definite' it will be a pleasant reminder that I have something amazing to look forward to! I'm due 18th December so hopefully he/she will be here before Christmas Day, it would be the most amazing Christmas ever!

[Mawsymoo]

Sorry to hear you've been having such a hard time.

I too lost weight in the first trimester (around 5kg) and I was also slim to start with. I was so nauseous and just couldn't eat. I was under the care of a consultant for an unrelated reason and he wasn't at all concerned. I started gaining back the weight around 16/17 weeks when I was able to stomach food a little better. I kept a bag of almonds on my desk and snacked on them through the day. I'd also have a glass of milk every now and then (great for calcium too), plenty of cheese, and I certainly allowed myself some treats too! This was on top of my 3 main meals (though I wasn't really able for big meals). Have whatever you fancy at the moment while you try to get your strength back up. I did find it a bit of an effort but I feel it was worthwhile - I did gain steadily and healthily through the rest of the pregnancy and had a fine bump by the end.

Do make an effort to eat some more as it'll really help your energy levels and strength.