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What's a British version of a baby shower?

(38 Posts)
ovumahead Sun 28-Jun-15 23:02:10

I'm pregnant with my second child. Several people have suggested I have a baby shower but I didn't with my first and although I absolutely love the idea of getting friends together before I pop this time, the whole concept of a baby shower makes me cringe. We don't want or need anything from anyone so it wouldn't be about gifts but just getting together
together. But isn't this just having some friends over, or going for lunch? Am I missing something, or being unsentimental or odd? Help!

Chchchchanging Sun 28-Jun-15 23:02:58

Afternoon tea
Possibly with a couple of little presents for YOU not the baby wink

AuntieStella Sun 28-Jun-15 23:05:14

Baby showers are for a first baby (marks the transition to maternity).

You can gave any kind of party/gathering you like ahead of having your second, just don't call it a shower (especially if you want to host it yourself).

Shallishanti Sun 28-Jun-15 23:05:46

I agree I think it's an awful idea
BUT, a colleague recently had a 'baby shower' which had the get together and have fun idea but she raised money for a local baby related charity which I thought was a lovely idea

applecore0317 Sun 28-Jun-15 23:09:35

I invited my friends over for afternoon tea and told them I just wanted a girly get together before the baby arrived.

IfYouWereARiverIdLearnToFloat Mon 29-Jun-15 07:47:30

We normally do an afternoon at someone's house and everybody brings something for afternoon tea. It's just an excuse for us to have a catch up before the baby's born regardless of if its the first or second child. We normally each put in a small amount of £ to buy a joint present for mum/baby too.

You don't need to call it anything - you're just meeting up with friends close to your due date.

lottiegarbanzo Mon 29-Jun-15 07:53:00

The equivalent, gift-wise, is giving gifts after the baby arrives. Gathering-wise, do what you like. We tried to see people for dinner, by going out etc just because we knew we wouldn't have much time to socialise for a while afterwards.

MissTwister Mon 29-Jun-15 08:10:45

I just met all my friends for an afternoon tea - it's nice to see everyone prior but doesn't need to be a baby shower with all the silly games and stuff

Baguettes Mon 29-Jun-15 09:53:57

I love the idea of a 'baby shower' which involves friends, tea, cake and fizzy for those not growing a person.

I hate the thought of one with party games fuck off , public gift unwrapping cringe etc etc.

You sound like you want something lovely and low key so why not have some friends over for lunch / nibbles and specify that people really don't need to bring a gift? It's a great time of year to have one - Pimms in the garden!

Nameforsexboard Mon 29-Jun-15 09:55:36

We usually give gifts after the birth. Do they do that as well in America or is it instead of?

Chips1999 Mon 29-Jun-15 09:57:56

My friend just had a #NotABabyShower and it was lovely, it was basically a get together at a friends garden with nibbles and games for the children. She said strictly no gifts and there was a bump shaped cake!

MerryMarigold Mon 29-Jun-15 10:02:59

just call it a get together. Specify no gifts. If people ask or insist you could say a meal for the freezer would be useful. Xxc

5YearsTime Mon 29-Jun-15 10:03:19

Do you know what... I've been to about 5 baby showers and I think they are a fantastic idea. You get to see lots of friends and family before you have new baby that needs all your attention. You also get gifts that are practical because you haven't bought anything yet. I would much rather give. A practical gift before a baby shower that contribute to the 1000s of outfits a baby will be given.

scarednoob Mon 29-Jun-15 10:19:29

I wouldn't have a baby shower because I am a paranoid superstitious wreck. however, i really like going to other people's!

my friends who have been somewhere in the middle have gone for the afternoon tea idea. just a get together either in an hotel or at someone's house with finger sandwiches and cocktails for the non-preggos. a great way to see everyone before the baby arrives.

I LOVE the idea of raising money for a baby charity rather than gifts, what a nice thing to do.

LorelaiVictoriaGilmore Mon 29-Jun-15 11:10:38

I'm having a 'not a baby shower' because my friends were nagging me to do something and I thought that it would be a nice way to see everyone before I give birth. I've just organised about 10-12 of us to meet up for brunch at a nice restaurant in London about 4 weeks before my due date. I haven't specified 'no gifts' because I've said it's not a baby shower and I don't think people will feel like they have to bring a gift because we're just having brunch. Everyone is going to pay for themselves, but I'm going to spring for a few bottles of champagne (or mocktails!) just to thank everyone for coming. I think it seems like a nice idea . . . we'll see!

AbbeyRoadCrossing Mon 29-Jun-15 11:14:37

My friend in the US said it's a big thing over there because there's no maternity pay / leave like there is here, so it's more about setting up the family with the larger items as it's financially harder over there.

So that for me is the key difference. As others have said tea and cake / get together type thing rather than a huge gift list type thing.

I do find it a bit sad that's it's not the done thing for a second. I missed my afternoon tea with friends as DS was premature and would quite like to do it this time

MrsFrankRicard Mon 29-Jun-15 11:25:26

I have been to 2 where it was specified no gifts (so can you still call it a shower?!) but there were decorations, food, games and fizz for everyone not pregnant. It was good fun actually but when I was pregnant I said No Way to a baby shower - I didn't want to watch everyone else drinking whilst feeling like a fat, uncomfortable misery and I find them grabby if there are gifts. So what I did was went out for tea with a couple of friends a couple of weeks before my due date and they brought me flowers and chocs which was unexpected but lovely of them. And then when baby was born and I felt up to it I organised a meal and night out with all my female friends, much more fun!

MrsFrankRicard Mon 29-Jun-15 11:28:14

AbbeyRoadCrossing - you can still do it for the second especially if you didn't do anything for the first. I had nothing or my first as it was years ago and wasn't a 'thing' yet (In UK).

Baguettes Mon 29-Jun-15 12:32:38

Don't forget to order a really nice cake to have with the tea.

Stinkersmum Mon 29-Jun-15 12:37:01

My BFF is on strict instructions to thwart any rumour or attempt on throwing me a baby shower. I couldn't think of anything worse. I'll see who I want to see before the baby comes anyway. I hate going to them and I certainly am not having one.

Heels99 Mon 29-Jun-15 12:41:41

Just invite friends for lunch. Why is that not acceptable without it being given an 'occasion'

SenecaFalls Mon 29-Jun-15 12:50:44

Do they do that as well in America or is it instead of?

No, in the US, if you give a gift at the shower, you don't give another gift after the baby is born. Also, it seems that as the custom has translated across the pond, expectant mothers are hosting them for themselves. This is a no-no in the States if gifts are involved. In fact, in the South where I am, even close family members should not host. Usually several friends get together and do it. Also the trend is for them to be coed, with men invited as well.

If no gifts are involved, btw, y'all need to think of something else to call it.

scarednoob Mon 29-Jun-15 14:07:56

I wish I could say "y'all". you just can't pull it off when your accent is half Cheshire, half London sad

olivaceous Mon 29-Jun-15 14:10:48

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Partyrama Mon 29-Jun-15 15:14:32

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

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