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MIL issues and new grandchild

(3 Posts)
NameChangedForThisPost2311 Sun 28-Jun-15 20:55:20

Wasn't sure whether to post here or in relationships but I'll give it a go anyway....

There's a big long back story but essentially DH fell out with his mum a few months back over something she blatantly lied about and they've not spoken since.

We have a DS who MIL has not seen since they fell out.

I asked DH to make up with his mum when the first fell out as he is the only family she has, but the fact that they are both too stubborn to apologise means he wouldn't. I has no issue with MIL to start with as I took the stance that it's their argument to sort out, not mine or DS, and was still happy to take DS to see her when we were free. We were also in touch via text relatively regularly.

Unfortunately, due to work commitments we hadn't seen her for a couple of weeks, which coincided with DS birthday. Instead of asking me to pop round when we were free so he could pick up his birthday card, she sent it through the post and didn't even bother to make contact. She's also not asked me how this pregnancy is going, or wven mentioned she's about to have another grandchild, etc.

This has massively irritated me as I can't see why she would take out her bad mood with DH on her grandson or me!

Now we're nearing the end of this pregnancy and I don't know how I feel about her seeing her new grandchild.
I know it's not fair to deprive a child from seeing it's family, but I also think if she gave a damn in the first place she would have the courtesy to text/call.

I know I'm probably just being hormonal and overly sensitive and should get over it, but it's bloody annoying.

Sorry for the long post!

holeinmyheart Sun 28-Jun-15 22:54:33

First try and imagine your MIL is just a human like you. She is probably just as distressed about what is going on as you would be. Even though she lied, mm not good... But we all make mistakes.
Unless you have told her explicitly that you think the quarrel is between her and her son, perhaps she thinks you are on his side. It would be natural for her to assume you are, wouldn't it? She may be afraid to approach you in case she gets knocked back.
Let's be the bigger person here and contact her and make it clear to her exactly how you feel. If she then sulks and doesn't contact you then you have done the ' RIGHT' thing.
You seem like a nice level headed person, so why not give her the benefit of the doubt.
I am glad you are telling your Dh to get over it , as life is too short to hold grudges.

onefootinthebed Mon 29-Jun-15 06:32:36

I agree with holeinmyheart. I fell out with my parents because of my young sister for 5 years. I wished to God everyday they would say sorry for how the took her side becsuse of the complete and utter lies my sister told. I was miserable for those 5 years. We came together when my ds was born. Well except for my sister. I wouldn't chose her as a friend so font have her on my family.

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