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How did you feel when you found out the sex of your baby?(27 Posts)
Hi everyone, I had my 20 week scan today and have found out we're going to have a girl! I already have a 5yo DS, and he's a bit disappointed as he was desperate for a brother . My DH and I didn't have a preference either way.
I'm not really sure how I'm supposed to feel. I was so relieved when the sonographer told me that the baby was fine, and she had no concerns. Then when she said I was having a girl.......I don't know, I thought I'd be happier. I think I had it in my head it was definitely going to be a boy. I'm not feeling disappointed or anything, just shocked.
I'm so happy and relieved that baby is healthy, and that was honestly all I was hoping for. We wanted to know the sex so we could be prepared, but........I just feel a bit deflated. Why is that? Maybe it's because I won't have the 'surprise' at the end of it all? Maybe I'm just still in shock! I honestly think I would have the same reaction if she'd told me it was going to be a boy. Just not feeling the excitement that everyone else does, iyswim?
Did anyone else feel like this when they found out?
I'm currently pregnant with number 5. I have a son (the eldest) and 3 daughters. I think I'd convinced myself that this one was going to be a boy. And I think I hoped it would be. Turns out, baby is a pink one!
DS came with us to the scan and he, like your son, was/is quite disappointed, although he's 8 and the gap between him and a little brother now would be a big one, we've explained that to him and I think he understands that sharing a room with a toddler won't be the same as a brother with a smaller age gap iyswim.
Anyway, to answer your question, yes I did feel, not disappointment or shock, but perhaps underwhelmed I suppose, when we found out. I would have liked another boy but I'm not disappointed it's a girl, I'm just glad she's healthy.
I did! Even though we had no preference for a boy or girl, we had somehow slipped into thinking of the baby as a boy. When the sonographer said "girl
" it was like we didn't have a reaction prepared for that. Deflated is a good word in fact. I think it took a couple of weeks to pass, but I love that she's a girl now (just as well, she's nearly two!).
It's probably surprise/shock! I was convinced that my first DC was a boy as I'd had no morning sickness (or other symptoms) and that's what the old wives tales said. I was so convinced that it rubbed off on DH too. At the 20 week scan they said it was a girl and I thought, Errr, what?! We both walked out pretty shocked. Then I thought about it rationally and remembered that my brother had 2 girls, both of my cousins had 2 girls each, not a baby boy in sight in our family so perhaps I should have thought a bit more scientifically before my scan!!
I am currently pregnant with DC2 and I secretly would like another girl, coz I have the right clothes and they can be into the same things... I know I will love a boy equally and it doesn't really matter but my secret is there for now, roll on 20 weeks!!
With dd I wasn't fussed either way, thought it was a boy she wasn't am pregnant with dc2 and not fussed if it's a boy/girl.
I felt slightly smug (although that is completely irrational, it's not like I actually knew). My hubby and everyone else was convinced baby is a girl, my symptoms were very different to when I was pregnant with my son. Far more hormonal etc. I was blind convinced we'd have a second boy. I was right. Of course if they got it wrong and baby turns up in August a girl... I'll be eating my words! (31+5 at the moment). Would have been happy either way although having had a boy (and being a very Tom- boy like girl when I was younger, I still don't do makeup), I was a bit nervous at the idea of a girl. Worried I'd have a girly-girl and not a clue what to do. So maybe a bit relieved too...
Thanks for your comments guys, glad I'm not the only one who had an unexpected reaction!
I was v disappointed initially I always really really wanted a girl, (i know, i know selfish cow) however finding out was the best thing I ever did. I started picturing my DS and named him etc and had someone offered me a tablet the next day saying this will change your baby to a girl I would have definitely refused it I was in love with the little man growing inside me. And now couldn't care less what ill have if and when imt fortunate enough to have more.
I was absolutely shocked- we were so convinced baby would be a girl that when the sonographer said boy, there was a shocked silence from DH and myself!!
She asked us if everything is OK- we said, we're just shocked, this is so unexpected...
It took a couple of days to get over the shock and now I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm currently 30+2 and couldn't imagine having a girl!
Having a growth scan next week so will make sure baby is still a boy!!
It is a peculiar feeling at first. If you don't have a preference either way, you don't have that emotion to react to. With no preference at all, it's a strange feeling. There's the closing of one door, the letting go of the baby you won't have and then the opening of another except you still don't really know anything about them. It's bizarre. In a strange way I felt that even though I knew something indisputable about this life inside me, I'd never felt like I knew them less than I did in the hours after finding out the sex. I felt in a bit of a daze tbh.
my OH felt like that - he really didn't want to find out, but I did. so we did, and whilst he was thrilled (he'd have been thrilled either way), after a few hours he was a bit subdued. he was like a kid who's found all his Christmas presents and opened them a month early.
of course, this is the same muppet that thought we were having a girl because the ultrasound machine said FEMALE at the top. yeah, that'd be me who's female....!
Weirdly disappointed at the scan, even though I'd never had a sex preference. I think I'd been heavily invested in my imaginary baby, who wasn't anything like an actual sex, so it was the first intimation that DS was actually real! I got over myself within an hour.
I'm elated! I have a 5 year old girl. I had stillborn twin boys so I am delighted to be having a boy so that he can carry their names. I'm currently 25 weeks and I'm having a wellbeing scan at 30 weeks just so that we and they can check the baby but also to try and sneak a peak just to double check lol x DD is so excited its a boy too as she's always wanted it this way x
Me and my dh thought this one was a boy, and I'll be honest.. I really wanted a girl but didn't tell anyone that.
Obviously I was happy as long as it was healthy because we had been trying 2-3 years ttc. But I think I convinced myself it was a boy to save disappointment (that sounds terrible but I just mean sex wise) but I already have a son and have always always wanted a girl!
Anyway.. We found out it is a girl and when the lady told me I cried so much with excitement and disbelief!! I am so grateful to be having one of each I couldn't get my head around it for a few days, I am over the moon!!
KateR I'm so sorry to hear that, very happy for you to be having a boy though, all the best x
We found out yesterday and I'm still getting my head around it. I was absolutely floored when the technician told us. I think I said 'oh wow!' but felt utterly dazed. Very much what Saul said about a door closing (especially as this may be our only child) and letting go of the ideas I had that no longer apply. I've chatted with a few parent friends since then and they've been reassuring that feeling a million different things (not all of them joy) is completely normal. I feel a bit less emotional remembering that the baby appears healthy and is developing ok. That and looking at baby clothes I like.
Saul sums it up well. I had no preference, but I did want to know. I was happy to find out it was a boy, just as I'd be happy to have found it was a girl. The baby is an unknown. Finding out the sex was like narrowing that unknown a bit. I suppose like if someone had said "he's going to be tall" or ginger or blonde, or have blue eyes. The actual sex/hair/eye colour is irrelevant, it just helps me picture him more.
Interestingly, and sadly, the ultrasound lady would not tell us. We found out another way - Even here in Sweden they have certain cultural/ethnic groups who predominantly terminate girls. That's a very sad thought.
Skiptonlass I have heard that certain health authorities in the UK won't reveal that information for the same reasons. A coworker thought it was particular urban boroughs with high concentrations of certain ethnic groups, but didn't know exactly. It's very sad.
Yes, I was surprised we were told the sex - East London borough with huge ethnic diversity - though in fact we already knew from another scan in a different jurisdiction.
I think Saul put it well - even if you have no sex preference, finding out the sex closes down on certain bits of your imaginary baby, which can be disconcerting.
went like this at the doctor's
-so, you want to know? What are you hoping for?
- oh, I really don't mind.. but would like to know, yes.
- it's a girl
- a GIRL!
Guess I did have a preference after all. (probably because I already have a DS)
When we had scan for number five we weren't planning on finding out,already had four boys and weren't bothered either way.
The sonograoher said "I have a really clear view of the Sex do you want to know" I assumed a clear view meant boy... Anyway we said Ok and she said it's a girl. Stunned silence abd then dp and I must have said, are you sure about a hundred times and sonograoher said I am not allowed to say I am 100% sure but I am 100% sure this baby is a girl.
Once born I said, is it alright, followed by is it really a girl. I honestly didn't believe them, I thought I only did boys.
If we ever gave any more, unlikely we won't find out.
"I thought I only did boys" that really made me chuckle.
Thank you for all your lovely comments, SaulGood hit the nail on the head I think. Feeling better today, and it feels nice calling my bump "she" now instead of "baby" or "bump"
I was disappointed and shocked to find out I was having a boy (he's now 2.5). It's pretty much all girls in my family so it never entered my consciousness that it could be a boy. We still hadn't decided even as we were walking into the building for the 20wk scan whether we wanted to know or not.
I could not bear the thought of feeling disappointed, however fleeting, when my baby was born to be told it was a boy when I was hoping for a girl. So we found out at the scan and I was shocked! I got them to double check at the 30wk scan to be sure because by this time I was delighted at the thought of having a boy and giving my Dad his first grandson.
I could not imagine having a girl now, my son is amazing. I'm pregnant with DC2 and very apprehensive at the thought of possibly having a girl!
I felt initially disappointed , then extremely guilty about that, then actually really relieved and happy. There was a lot of hope for one sex from our families, but I actually increasingly feel much happier that we aren't having that sex of baby, the fuss would be overwhelming.
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