Hi, early on in my depression I suffered a lot of anxiety and also developed OCD for the first time in my life, which involved excessive hand washing and worrying about germs and also toxins. I suffered fertility problems and finally got pregnant through IVF, but the fear of losing the baby at the beginning was overwhelming and hence the anxiety and ocd. I asked to see a mental health midwife who did some of my antenatal checks. I also was prescribed antidepressants and had CBT sessions. In time I started to deal with things better and I found the CBT very helpful. However I wasn't totally happy with the mental health midwife. I found she would make assumptions about my condition, assuming I had a 'text book' case of OCD. She'd say things like, 'you're hands look dry, are you sure you're not washing them in bleach' which she asked a number of times even though I assured her I was only using soap. She'd also say things like 'I bet you're one of those people who has to have all their books and CDs in alphabetical order and can't stand anything being out of place'. This couldn't be further from the truth. The first time we met she said she'd report me to social services for information, which I felt was unnecessary when she knew very little about me and the severity of my condition.
At our meetings, I felt she was becoming controlling and was telling me what to do, as if I didn't have a say. For example she said I would be kept in hospital for 48 hours minimum after the baby was born to see if I could cope ok. I asked her if this was compulsory and she said it wasn't but the way she described it was as if I had no choice. Also, when I said I was feeling better and would like to come off the anti depressants, she abruptly said I had to take them the whole pregnancy and insisted that I wouldn't be able to cope now without them, even though I knew I would.
A few weeks ago my antenatal care transferred to a community midwife who I am much happier with. Around the same time, I saw a doctor for a prescription for my anti depressants. It was a different GP to my usual one. She mentioned that my baby may have withdrawal effects from the tablets when she is born which concerned me. I then made the decision that as I was feeling better and because I didn't want the baby to have withdrawal symptoms, I'd wean myself off the tablets very gradually.
I'm now off the tablets and have been feeling and coping ok. I get depressed sometimes as I split up from my ex a few months ago and this has caused a lot of stress and worry, but even with all that going on and facing single parenthood, I think I've been doing pretty well on the whole. The thing is that I haven't told my current midwife or the mental health midwife that I no longer take the tablets as I'm really scared that if I do this, they will question my capability of looking after the baby when she's born and may even involve social services.
I know that maybe I should have told them, but I also feel it's my body and my choice and I'm doing what I feel is best for my baby. The worry that I have is that when I go into labour, I will need to let them know that I am no longer on the medication and I'm so scared they will inform the mental health midwife and that she will deal with it in a heavy handed manner and will inform social services.
Can anyone offer any advice on this? Thanks,
Sarah
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Weaned myself off antidepressants
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sarah00001 · 20/06/2015 17:40
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