Would you like to be a member of our research panel? Join here - there's (nearly) always a great incentive offered for your views.
Birth stories 1st baby(70 Posts)
I know this has been done to death but id like to hear some stories about birthing your 1st babies.
I don't want horror stories just your positive experiences. Especially from women who were terrified but it turned out ok!
I guess I need reassurance that im going to get through it. 38 weeks now and keep going through phases of believing I was made for this to panicking.
All pregnancies are different.
With my first, I was induced at 10 days overdue which failed so I had a c-section (which wasn't all that bad). I got to the point that I wanted him out whatever it took lol!!
I went into labour when 4 days overdue. I was in pre labour for almost 48 hours and I had DS in a birthing pool with no pain relief. It was honestly the most amazing thing I've ever done. I felt so empowered. And, believe me, I was the one of our NCT group who wanted an elective section and said I'd take all the drugs going.
Good luck, I hope it all goes well. Try not to have any hopes or plans and just go with the flow.
The birth is a tiny fraction of what is to come! Enjoy your baby, time goes SO quickly!
I was 5 days over due and my waters broke out of the blue while I was in bed, despite everyone saying they don't tend to break like that!
Contractions were 6 minutes apart immediately and I then had approx 6 hours of labour before 45 mins of pushing. Gas and air only once I was at 7cm and I could only get comfortable on my back (again, despite everyone saying that's not the best position). No idea why this was the case. Gas and air was ok pain management wise, despite me thinking towards the end that I couldn't do it- I could.
I ended up with a second degree tear that really wasn't that bad. My labour was a really good experience really, although it does hurt- obviously. I'm sort of looking forward to my next birth too- despite knowing what it's like a bit more! I'm hoping to be able to use a birth pool this time.
I was 100% convinced I couldn't do it, went into labour, spent all night in the bath and went to hospital at 7cm.
Thought if I could get to 7cm with no pain relief, maybe I could do it after all.
DD got well and truly stuck, unsuccessful ventouse and forceps, had an emcs. Which if I'm honest, was what I had wanted all along!
Horrible birth stories are still valid birth stories. You still have to get through them.
Yes I realise that but I don't want to hear them weeks before im about to do it. I have educated myself on what can go wrong all birth stories are valid of course they are there was no need to comment.
I went in to labour 2 weeks early. Waters broke and we headed in to hospital. I paced the floors for a couple of hours with mild pains (steadily worsening) and then suddenly had a huge contraction and then the urge to push. Dh had to rush out to get someone and with the next push dd was born!
Comments like yours invalidate other women's birth you see.
My waters also broke when I was asleep in bed!
I totally understand the desire to hear positive stories. So often the stories you hear are the nightmare ones because people feel more need to share.
Mine was a really good experience. Started to labour in the afternoon. DH got me tens from the hospital and a milkshake from McD's!
I focused on my breathing and was comfortable until about 9. My DH started to say we should go into hospital. I argue fit was far too soon as everyone knows first babies take days to come!
He finally persuaded me to move. (I made him take a picture of me first as I realised I had no photos of me pregnant!)
Got to hospital about 10. Was 5-6. Waters broke not long after. Was found to be 7-8. Got in pool. Pushed for an hour. (Back to back baby.) Beautiful DS born at 12:35. 8lb 14!
No they don't. I'm sorry you feel that way you obviously had a rough time and are struggling with it. I have heard plenty of stories when things don't go to plan. There is no wrong way or right way to have a baby or give birth I just want to hear from women who are and were empowered by their births because it may give me a bit of confidence. I'm happy to hear a 'horrible' birth story if it resulted in a happy healthy baby and a feeling of acomplishment.
therachel wow that sounds quick!!! I'm constantly questing every twinge at the moment which is annoying. I don't think I'd be able to mistake it if my waters went like yours though! Haha
Wow wolfiefan that was quite quick for a first labour!! I love reading birth stories it just gives me extra reassurance I can do it! I hope to have my baby in the water too did you enjoy that bit of it?
What do you mean by horror story?
I have had two emergency caesareans after two very long labours. The first I probably wouldn't describe as 'positive' but that's mainly because I had decided that I only wanted a calm, empowering home water birth and clung to the fact that my body was made for natural delivery. Obviously with that attitude, there was every chance that if anything didn't go to plan, I was going to feel negative.
My second emcs was a wonderful, joyful, positive experience which I smile about whenever I think of it.
Can you detail what it is you're frightened of? I know from experience that labour and delivery are a matter of luck and setting it up so that only certain experiences are desirable/positive means you're setting yourself up for heartache.
I can tell you that you that statistics are on your side. You are most likely to have a normal delivery. But what if you don't? It can either be a negative horror story or you can go in there armed with knowledge of what that might mean and how you might make decisions in each situation. Really the key to letting go of the fear is knowledge and acceptance and working with what happens, not against the fear of what might.
Whatever happens, can I just tell you the baby at the end of it all is fooking brilliant?
I just think sometimes it's better to face up to the fears instead of only immersing yourself in hope. The hope bit's fine and positive and lovely and I really, genuinely hope it's the labour and delivery of your dreams. But a wee bit of knowledge of the whole thing just in case might just help you out on the day. It's not horror or negativity, sometimes it's just basic facts.
My babies got a bit stuck on the way out and modern medicine meant that they were able to help them. That's just what happened. No horror, no terror, just a slightly different story to what I originally wanted. Safe me, safe baby. So if you though a caesarean was something you desperately didn't want, somebody like me might be able to reassure you that if you did end up needing that surgical intervention, it can be a wonderful, joyous time and my 2nd cs in particular was nothing frightening in the slightest.
I'm umming and aahing about posting this because I don't want to offend and when pregnant with dc1, I was very irritated by people like me who 'insisted on telling horror stories when I wasn't have that kind of labour and delivery thank you very much'. I didn't realise that I was being very dismissive of a reality that can and does happen and one that I wouldn't have been half of afraid of if I'd listened to what it actually entailed instead of fearing and ignoring it.
I genuinely and happily wish you all the very best.
Please disregard this whole post if I've spoken out of turn.
DS was born at 38+5. My waters broke at 5am, contractions started straight away but just like bad period pains went to the hospital because I panicked!
Obviously got sent home and told to call back when contractions were closer together, managed at home until around 1pm with paracetamol and baths.
Went into the hospital, the
bitch midwife checked me out and told me nothing was happening and to go home again, it then got really bad and I camped out in the loo with my mum (basically that was transition) To cut a long story short, on the way back to the car, ended up hanging off a windowsill whilst everyone walked past gawping at me. A lovely nurse appeared out of nowhere with a wheelchair and took me back to the midwife unit.
Was rechecked and "oh look, you're fully dilated and ready to push"
DS was born at 4.03pm, no pain relief except paracetamol and no intervention.
We left the hospital at 11pm same night.
I would do it all again tomorrow, I know it's very cheesy but it's so worth it. I promise.
Sorry, massive x-post.
Hopefully, if you've read up about lots of stories of what can happen you've probably realised that:
1) all labours are different
2) there are positives in all methods of delivery
Does that reassure you a bit?
I started getting mild twinges on the evening of my due date, woke up about midnight and was too uncomfortable to get back to sleep so paced round the house for a few hours. Went to birth unit at 8:30am & was told only 3cms so may need to go back home until further on. Waters went at 9am and I had my baby in my arms just after 10am. Minor tear so a few stitches but not too bad. It was an amazing experience & I am looking forward to next time!
I went 4 days overdue but was having vey slow on and off contractions for 2 days before I went to bed one night and they steadily increased and became obviously in a pattern. I was going in to the midwife unit and wanted a Waterbirth. I got in the bath after about 3 hours and stayed in for a couple of hours until they got 'vocal' as in I had to go "oooofffffff!" every time. Woke DH up about 1.30am and we decamped downstairs where I lay over my ball and groaned. Rang the unit twice and about 3am they said I could come in, I really felt I wanted the reassurance of professionals around me! I was 5cm when I got there so they let me stay and I got in the pool. I remember it being really nice and DH feeding me Haribo while we listened to music but I know I was contracting so it can't have been that lovely! After 3 hours damasks is only dilated 1 cn so I had to get out and was in the active birthing room, I decided to have some Meptid which spaced me out a bit so I lay calm for an hour or so and it allowed me to drift off a bit (also since I got in the place I was so attached to the G&A I made the midwife show me it could reach wherever I had to move or I wouldn't go!) after 4 more hours I was at 9cm. I remember standing up and staggering around and shouting I wanted an epidural which made the midwives get the aprons on as I was clearly transitioning and that's when you feel you are not getting through it, but I started pushing. DS got stuck though and they ended up assisting the birth with ventouse. I include this in a positive birth story simply because it was not the terrible thing you may imagine to have assistance. From pushing initially to him being ventoused was only about 30 mins and the doctors and everyone elae in theatre were so lovely to me, it was still a celebratory and wonderful moment when he was born. Also I was seen up from an episiotomy very quickly and well and was BF DS in recovery happily just after. I also healed in 2 weeks. My birth didn't go as planned but was non the less a good memory and I forgot it all as soon as he was in my arms. You will get through it, I felt in the run up I had to 'learn' to give birth but it all just progressed as it did and I got through it. Good luck and enjoy your baby when they arrive!
I was 38 weeks and so sick of being pregnant. (I hated the entire "pregnancy experience"...probably due to the fact I was violently sick for the first 7 months of it!!) I had heard that sex can help get things going...so me and DH just went for it...lo and behold, about 20 mins later, I stood up and felt a trickle. I thought I had peed myself!! Turns out my waters had broken, so off we popped to the hospital. They told me to go home, as I wasn't contracting or anything, and to go back in 24 hours if nothing happens to get the induction process underway. Nothing happened. Friends then thought it would be a great idea to tell me that induced labours are usually quite brutal...cheers guys! 9pm the following day, I went in to be induced. Pessary went in, and the midwife told me they can take up to 6 hours to work. I didn't need 6 hours! Within 20 mins I was contracting away (felt like bad period cramps, but not exactly painful). Carried on like that until 7am the next morning. Was examined, and was only 2cm!! So they said they wanted to get the synto drip started. In went the drip, and the contractions cranked up to an obscenely painful level within 15 minutes. My baby's heart rate became a bit of a worry, so the drip was stopped. After that, my labour was well and truly underway! Was examined at 10am and was 3cm dilated. Thats when I stopped trying to be superwoman, and had a bit of gas and air (never felt so pissed in my life!!). At around 11am, I had the most unbelievable urge to push! I told my midwife and she said very nonchalantly "No, you don't need to push yet"....Urrrm YES I FUCKING DO!! So she reluctantly examined me and said "Oh maybe you do need to push...I can see your baby's head"...Yea, I told you that 10 minutes ago!!! But the pushing commenced, and within the hour my baby girl was born! So all in all, from the start of active labour, to my baby being born, it only took 2 hours 59 mins! ANd honestly? It's not that bad!! Yes it's painful, but not unbearably so! Gas and air did the job for me during the contractions, and when I started pushing, I gave up on it, because it made my head all fluffy, and I needed to focus on the task in hand!! Even the famous "ring of fire" wasn't as bad as I imagined it would be!
Good luck with your birth experience, I hope it all goes well for you, and your little one arrives safe and sound
All births are ultimately empowering no matter how the birth is. It's just rude for you to decide which ones are valid for you to hear and not. Just as it's rude to decide who gets to comment or not.
I love reading birth stories, makes me all broody
Thank you all so much. I just really enjoy reading about peoples experiences as it makes me feel more prepared.
Just to clarify I'm in no position to say what constitutes as a positive or a negative birth story I'm asking for people to share their experiences what I don't want is to be told "it's the worst thing in the world" "you feel like your dying" ect ect because why would I need to hear that?
I'm open minded about what will happen but I do have preferences and believe the skills I have learnt in hypnobirthing will set me in good stead no matter what happens.
What I'm most afraid of is:
•losing it, completely having a massive breakdown and causing myself to have a panic attack
And that's it. I have severe anxiety (not about childbirth) but in general and although I haven't had a panic attack in a good year now I'm worried feeling out of control will set me off so I do feel like the control aspect is my biggest fear
Every ones experiences are all so different but if it helps I was on my last attempt at induction, no contractions, not dilated and feeling very frustrated at being 14 days overdue. Went and ran a warm bath (on the ward) to ease what I (& the midwife) assumed were induction pains; turns out I was in labour and didn't realise until I felt like I needed to push.
Luckystar is right however your labour experience turns out, it is such a tiny part. Just try to remember that at the end of it you'll finally get to meet your PFB.
The most helpful thing I can say is that if you have been diagnosed with severe anxiety, let it be known in your notes.
Join the discussion
Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.Register now
Already registered with Mumsnet? Log in to leave your comment or alternatively, sign in with Facebook or Google.
Please login first.