No heartbeat at 8 weeks 3 days

[Billi77]

Went for a private scan yesterday at Fetal medicine centre. No heartbeat detected and measured 7.5 mm. Have booking appointment today so will try get another scan.
Was in total state of shock, as was my partner, so didn't take much in or ask enough questions. We're given very little information beyond measurements on a print out after we'd paid.
Am supposed to go to italy in a week for a week. I don't want a painful miscarriage and would rather have a D and C. Found out what that is here. Sonographer suggested abortion pill but have heard terrible stories.
There is a minuscule chance they got it wrong but silly to elevate any hope. Has anyone been through this?

[Clairejessica123]

I went through something similar last year however it was my 12 week scan and I knew I was at least 10 weeks pregnant so unfortunatly for me it was a missed miscarriage. I know early one if there's any chance of you being less than six weeks pregnant there's a chance of them not seeing a heartbeat. I would defiantly speak to your midwife about it today who will talk you through your options I imagine they will rescan you. I would try not to worry but if unfortunatly the baby has passed there are some great groups on here which are really supportive.

[sizethree]

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I went through a similar experience too.
My baby had stopped growing at just over 8 weeks and no heartbeat was detected at a scan at 12 weeks.
You'll usually have a confirmation scan to confirm the pregnancy has sadly ended, and you'll be given the options for managing your miscarriage then.
There's 3 options. 1, to let things happen naturally. This can take a bit of time and as you're heading yo Italy it's probably not an option. 2, medically managed by taking pills / pessaries which makes the cervix contract and release the pregnancy. This you can go into day hospital for or choose to do at home. 3. The D&C / ERPC surgical procedures completed under general anaesthetic to remove the pregnancy. Done on the day ward in hospital.
You will be given information about these options on your follow up visit. And there's some brilliant threads on the pregnancy loss boards with many women going through similar experience and offering a wealth of advice and support.
I know you'll want to hold onto any hope, but sonographers are very well trained professionals and they would not give you this news unless they were sure. I'm so sorry, miscarrige really is one if the most heartbreaking experiences to endure.
Big hugs.

[Newlywed123]

I've had both a natural and surgical miscarriage. Both are hard, but I found that a D&C made it that little bit easier because it was over and done with and I had minimal bleeding.

Do you have a local early Pregnancy Unit you can call? They'll probably get you a scan asap and if the scan confirms baby has sadly passed then they'll sit you down straight after and discuss the options which will be best for you. X

[Billi77]

Thanks so much everybody. Any advice on what to ask at appointment today would be v gratefully received. I want to get D and C as just want to get back to getting pregnant as soon as possible. Would rather put this in my mind as an episode of a staggered journey towards pregnancy rather than a loss. I don't know how easy it will be. Will probably cancel italy as will coincide with operations, recovery period, etc
Grateful for all the support here. Thank you.

[Newlywed123]

I don't think I asked anything, they were very good and explained everything I wanted to know. Before the procedure someone will come and explain what happens, side effects and recovery.

Let us know what goes on, sorry you are going through this x

[Tollygunge]

i would have the d and c. The physical recovery is v easy. Having said that I have also had a miscarriage at eight weeks which was totally painless, but I was also on holiday at the time and not being able to swim was horrid as you can't wear tampax- though I did for a few hours each day whilst in pool. Thinking of you xx

[Billi77]

Thanks again. Do you know how long the bleeding/recovery period after D and C is?

[sebsmummy1]

Billi the bleeding period for all my MCs (natural and surgical) have been two weeks. I had two early ones at 6 weeks and they were like a heavy period and one surgical for a MMC as the baby died at 11 weeks. I still had two weeks of bleeding although other people who had surgery said they hardly bled at all.

So sorry to hear your news

[Billi77]

Thanks so much. I really hope you got through your losses ok.

[Nousername2015]

So sorry to hear of your experience billi. I've had medical management before which ended in a manual d+c and I think if I had to go through this again I would just have the surgery. I've heard recovery times can be quicker than opting for natural methods. If see what day they offer you and then decide whether to go on holiday, it may be just what you need to put yourself together again. Look after yourself.

[sianihedgehog]

I had surgical management, but had three scans to confirm the miscarriage spread over three weeks first, that's the policy in my area. After the d&c I was weak and frail as a kitten for a few days, signed off work for a week, and bled for around 2 weeks, during which I was also a batshit crazy hormonal mess, crying and snapping and being generally awful. OP, if it were me I'd give some consideration to whether it's possible to postpone your holiday. If you have insurance it may be possible.

[sianihedgehog]

On a positive note, I am now 32 weeks, having fallen pregnant again one cycle after my miscarriage. I felt just like you, OP, I just wanted to get back to trying straight away, and it worked.

[happygojo]

I had medical management on the Saturday and went on Holiday on the Tuesday. Just in a car to wales though, no flying (i bled quite a lot). The reason I went on the holiday is because I just needed to not be home. I had spent a week beforehand watching the food channel (there is no babies or pregnant ladies on the food channel) and I was going mental. The holiday itself was great, but when I came home and tried to go back to work, I was batshit crazy like Siani said, I was hormonal soup, that week was harder than the week straight after. I think your hormones drop quicker after surgical management but it is a personal choice and just make sure you get the 'pro's' and cons of each method. With me, I was booked in for later that week because the size of the sac meant that they could confirm the MC straight away. But don't be surprised if they want you to come back in a week.

My MC was in September, and like Siani I am also 32 weeks pregnant. I fell really quickly and I have had a textbook pregnancy (so far, fingers crossed)

[Billi77]

Thanks everyone again. Such a comfort to hear of your pregnancies..

The midwife booked us in for another emergency scan tomorrow at 11am. She also said that detecting heartbeat at 8 weeks is impossible, thus resurrecting our (probably) false hope. The limbo is awful. I have to keep telling myself that the sonographer on Harley St got is right with a Doppler scan and a vaginal one. Sadly.

[TinyMonkey]

I'm so sorry that you are going through this. I had a mmc in July 2013. I had an early scan at the epu at 8+3 on a hunch, no bleeding or pain, I was just anxious because I was supposed to be flying to Hungary for a wedding the next day. True to my hunch, no hb was found.

I opted to have an ERPC (they don't tend to call it a d&c when a pregnancy is involved afaik) under local anaesthetic rather than general. I had to wait a week for a slot, but on the day my partner came with me and was by my side throughout, and I had the top man at UCLH carrying the procedure out. He explained what was happening throughout and was very kind. I can't fault my care whilst I was there.

I think most people chose a GA, but for me it was important to 'bear witness' to the official end of my pregnancy. It was quite uncomfortable, and I was pretty upset, but it was over fairly quickly and I got the tube home soon after.

I bleed for about another couple of weeks and in total had a fortnight from the first scan off of work (I had to tell my boss after the scan, they were very understanding).

It took me until my EDD to really get over it all emotionally and put it to bed.

Despite being 40 by then, I was very lucky and conceived about a month after what would've been my EDD, and now have a beautiful 6.5 month old daughter chatting away on my lap.

I hope it all goes ok.

[Billi77]

Thanks for message. Will plan the next steps tomorrow after double check scan. Still holding on the hope that the dates were wrong, hence size and no heartbeat. Silly I know, but some comfort in it

[Distracted15]

how did it go today?..

[LoveLetters]

Any news xxx

[LoveLetters]

Thinking of you x

[Billi77]

No heartbeat since 6 + 4 weeks and booked in for EMRC tomorrow morning after which I will get back to getting pregnant again.

[sizethree]

billi I'm so sorry you're going through this. its so tough to hear that news.
The surgical procedure is fast and causes minimal pain.
I hope you are getting well looked after by your DP. X

[Billi77]

Thanks for the kind messages and reassurance.

[LostMySocks]

Take it easy. You may feel tired after the op. Be prepared to put your feet up and left yourself be looked after for a day. Also after my MMC and op I seemed to catch every cold going and got quite run down so I recommend taking vitamins and trying to eat well. I was lucky and got pregnant only 2 cycles after my Periods came back.

[sianihedgehog]

They'll probably sign you off work for a week after the surgery - don't do what I did and return to work early to prove that you can!