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Scared of telling OH I'm pregnant

(8 Posts)
Zeriously Mon 15-Jun-15 14:50:48

Hi all,

So I have two DCs (2.5 years and 13 months) and have just found out I'm pregnant, despite being on the minipill.

Life is very busy with two small kids and I'm terrified at the idea of another one, but my biggest worry at the moment is telling my OH. He's a great dad but isn't the kind of bloke who's always said he wanted kids etc. and although he loves the children, he clearly looks forward to being out of the baby/toddler stages so life gets a bit easier. He often says how happy he is that our 13 months old is now sturdier and more independent, and that we won't have to go through the newborn sleepless nights ever again.

It seems so ridiculous, but I'm terrified of telling him because he'll feel that another baby would ruin our lives (I know this is a very strong way of putting it and personally don't feel that way, but he's struggled with having a lot less time to himself for his hobbies since having kids and he says that's what he finds hardest about being a parent). I fear he'll somehow resent me for this situation and that it will affect our relationship. To put it simply, I feel like I have it in me to go through another pregnancy/birth/months of sleepless night (I think... I hope!) but I don't think he does...

Has anyone been through this and what happened? I feel terrible knowing but not telling him, I hate to keep things from him.

TIA x

Snowflake15 Mon 15-Jun-15 23:27:03

Just tell him, it took two of you to make this baby. He could surprise you

redgoat Mon 15-Jun-15 23:36:21

Indeed. It's just as much his responsibility as yours. Hopefully he'll surprise you. Hugs. X

popalot Tue 16-Jun-15 10:20:42

A friend did - he wasn't happy at first but came round to it and now the kid is the apple of his eye. Tell him, he might surprise you. But if he gets down it won't last long.

goodnessgraciousgouda Tue 16-Jun-15 10:56:26

I think you need to take a couple of days to figure out exactly how you feel about this pregnancy before speaking to your OH.

Good luck OP xxx

wallaby73 Tue 16-Jun-15 16:49:24

There's a reason my gp called the mini-pill the "mother's pill". Sounds antiquated i know, but he was referring to its lack of reliability....use this if you don't mind having another baby ��

Zeriously Tue 16-Jun-15 18:51:52

Good to know wallaby73! I had done some reading about it when I started (that was back in November) and didn't come across the fact it was so unreliable. OH is defo getting the snip asap!

Thanks for you thoughts ladies. OH has got a lot going on at work this week and then has to go to a close relative's funeral at the end of the week, so he's away for 3 nights. I'm going to pluck up the courage to tell him as soon as he's back this weekend... Fingers crossed he doesn't get too depressed!

I'm not even totally sure how I feel about it myself. I love my two babies, but 3 under 3 - Argh! Xx

DownWithThisTypeOfThing Tue 16-Jun-15 18:53:58

Yes it takes two and all that.

But I think going from one to two is harder than two to three, so you've already done the hard bit.

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