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Want to be totally kick-ass but failing!

(22 Posts)
lilyb84 Fri 12-Jun-15 15:36:09

I'm around 8 weeks with my first and was really hoping to totally rock these first few weeks to show how well I can get on with everything while also growing a human - I've had colleagues who've continued their totally manic lifestyles right up to their due dates, and who sailed through with no discernable negative side effects.

Now I just don't know how they did it. I'm knackered, feel constantly sick (which I'm fine with as long as it means things are hopefully going okay in there!) and generally feel like I'm letting both my OH and colleagues down by not being able to pull my weight.

I'm currently in the first aid room at work as I was feeling so tired and faint at my desk I nearly passed out, and have just been laying here or an hour now trying to get the energy to go back to work.

How are you all coping with this?! I don't even feel emotional as such, just so tired and really struggling to not be able to just get on with things like I normally do.

Sorry for the rant, feeling sorry for myself!! I'm super, super happy to be pregnant and really excited about it all, just don't seem to be able to get my head round my newly depleted energy levels...

roughtyping Fri 12-Jun-15 15:40:59

Don't worry smile I had my first DS at 17, 12 years ago, and didn't even find out I was pregnant til 22+ weeks. Only symtpom I had was heartburn a couple of weeks before I gave birth.

This time I have felt sooo rubbish, constant headaches, generally feeling under the weather. 19 weeks now and starting to feel a bit better!

PixieChops Fri 12-Jun-15 15:44:57

The tiredness is horrific, it's because of all the new hormones in your body right now. I was like you and wanted to be like super woman, unfortunately your body will and can put a stop to that and just over ride you! Never think you're being lazy or not pulling your weight. After week 14 I got a big surge of energy and it's dropped off again around week 35 and now I'm napping when my 1 year old is just to get me through the day. If you're feeling dizzy then I'd suggest you need to start looking after yourself a bit more. Make sure you're getting plenty of fluids and a vitamin like pregnacare should up your iron levels a bitter so as to keep you from falling asleep at work. Sorry I sound like your mum but I'm 29 and have been pregnant for 21 out of 24 months so I know what I'm talking about lol. I'm due next Wednesday and yen the tiredness really kicks in! Good luck with your pregnancy and try to enjoy it smile

lilyb84 Fri 12-Jun-15 15:45:58

Thanks roughtyping, I think I'm just being a bit pathetic (particularly today) - I know it's different for every person and every pregnancy. I'm just annoyed at myself for not coping too well when normally I'm really on top of stuff! Glad to hear you're feeling a bit better now, guess I need to have some patience grin

lilyb84 Fri 12-Jun-15 15:48:19

Thanks pixie - and you're doing it all with another DC! Respect smile

I'm taking pregnacare and force feeding myself all the fruit and veg I can stomach, drinking loads etc. Maybe I just need to rest more and not feel guilty about it....!

BlondeRoots Fri 12-Jun-15 15:48:39

I didn't cope, I 'survived' both pregnancies. Worked up until the end with DC1, but was permanently knackered the entire pregnancy, and VERY sick for the first 14 weeks.

With DC2 it was a case of 'I am pregnant and I AM sick' rather than 'I'm not ill, I'm just pregnant'. I had HG and was vomiting all the way through.

You can't predict how pregnancy will effect you. I was a 'go hard or go home' type at work and in my social life until I got pregnant. It knocked me for six both times!

Eigg Fri 12-Jun-15 15:49:26

You are making a whole, brand new person with your body. That's pretty fantastic all on its own.

People have all sorts of reactions to pregnancy, some sail through, some don't.

Focus on being healthy and taking care of yourself for your baby. That's what is important, what anyone else thinks is not.

lilyb84 Fri 12-Jun-15 15:53:04

Blonde sorry to hear you were so poorly both times, I know I've been lucky so far. Guess you're right and you just don't know how it'll go for you. I certainly know enough people who struggled all the way through, don't know why I thought I'd be any different wink

lilyb84 Fri 12-Jun-15 15:53:41

Thanks Eigg smile

MissTwister Fri 12-Jun-15 16:41:23

Wait until you're 33 weeks and having a little moan to a friend about how tired and achey you are and their reply is 'I work with another pregnant lady and she's absolutely fine, doesn't moan at all'. Well good for said pregnant lady but I hurt!!!

MissTwister Fri 12-Jun-15 16:42:42

Ps I slept, ate and cried my way through my first trimester!

lilyb84 Fri 12-Jun-15 17:21:58

Haha, MissTwister, will look forward to that!

scatterbrainedlass Sat 13-Jun-15 09:41:21

I fully understand where you're coming from lily, I was the same. I have to admit it's not been too bad, but there have been days when I just want to curl up and pretend the world outside my blanket doesn't exist. Unfortunately I put on a tough exterior and plough through. I'm fairly get-up-and-go, and not one to whine and complain, but having dizzy spells at work really knocked me for six. It made me feel like I wasn't coping and I wasn't up to being able to do my job. Thankfully that has now passed, and apart from being a bit more tired than usual and less flexible, I feel like I'm doing pretty well. I remember around about the beginning of my 2nd trimester I was having a bit of a rough time and told my DH I was struggling, he said 'You're doing great, you're a tough woman'. It was a boost that he saw me that way, but I did think I maybe wasn't as tough as I originally thought!

Cheshirehello79 Sat 13-Jun-15 09:47:12

Hi Lily my first trimester was awful I was tired all the time felt nausea and just drained . Now I'm on my 2nd trimester I feel better more energy I've even started exercising. It does get a bit better so hang in there after all another human is growing inside you so you are bound to be knackered - just don't forget your vitamins including omega 3 at this early stage and plenty of water. Congrats :-)

IfYouWereARiverIdLearnToFloat Sat 13-Jun-15 10:15:13

Be proud of yourself - you've survived two thirds of the way through the first trimester already. I've just hit 12 weeks and feeling a million times better but for the last 3 months I've dragged myself to work late every day & contributed v little at home - DH has been doing it all.

You're making a tiny human inside you & it's really hard work. You just need to get through it in any way that you can & be kind to yourself.

PrincessOrElsa Sat 13-Jun-15 10:21:54

Don't worry, for the first 14 weeks, I felt like I had been run over by a bus. I slept 12 hours a night and was signed off work for two weeks because I was being sick 7 times a day.

After that it got so much better, and I was able to carry on a work as normal and just enjoyed having a bump.

Doodlekitty Sat 13-Jun-15 10:30:41

Cut thyself some slack missus! You are growing a whole new actual person! Thats pretty bloody amazing.
I had a horrible first 12 weeks with my first but was 'between jobs' so it didnt matter. This time round I am in quite a high powered business role and I spent 14 weeks crying in toilets/empty meeting rooms, drinking ginger tea, and apologising to my boss for being rubbish. Its not something within your control that you can battle through. You are not failing if you need to rest. It took me a while (and a hood boss) to understand that.

LovesYoungDream Sat 13-Jun-15 10:45:59

I found the pregnacare made me very sick during pregnancy so it could be making you feel worse. I felt the same way, but kept telling myself it's not forever and I'd be holding our baby very soon. Some women are very lucky and sail through, others take the more scenic route!

lauraa4 Sat 13-Jun-15 11:06:28

Every pregnancy is different and not everyone sails through as well as your colleagues so stop beating yourself up about it. I was very lucky in my first trimester not to experience the vomiting side of pregnancy. I did occasionally feel nauseous when I smelt meat being cooked but apart from that I was fine. However I was ridiculously tired and would often come home from work, be in bed by 7pm and sleep for 11 or 12 hours a night. I remember one weekend I woke up at 10am (after having slept for 12 hours the night before) had something to eat and then fell back to sleep until 8pm that night!

I did find the first trimester goes very quickly though. I'm now 25 weeks and feel like it's really dragging. Keep soldiering on you will be fine grin

lilyb84 Sat 13-Jun-15 12:17:20

Thanks so much for all your reassuring words and for sharing your experiences! I was definitely having an off day yesterday smile

Still a bit shaky this morning but a good night's sleep, a good big healthy breakfast and some (light) housework this morning have perked me up no end. I'll start listening to my body a bit more from now on and stop beating myself up if it's not up to my apparently high standards of daily activity!

brokencrayons Sat 13-Jun-15 12:58:58

I existed. I have a farm to run, a photography business and two kids. It all went to shit for the first 14 weeks and I don't feel guilty about it.

WorldsBiggestGrotbag Sat 13-Jun-15 13:07:19

I'm 37 weeks and still pretending to be holding it together/coping brilliantly when actually I feel like a wreck.
At 8 weeks I was exhausted, sick and could barely get out of bed. 13 month old DD was ill and DH had broken his right hand so couldn't help with night wake ups/nappy changes/housework/cooking. I avoided everyone and just concentrated on surviving!

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