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Felling like my pregnancy is a free for all

(5 Posts)
layla888 Thu 11-Jun-15 16:31:23

Ugh does anyone else feel like they have no privacy or dignity during their pregnancy/birth? I just feel like my pregnancy is a free for all for everyone i.e. midwives, doctors, HV etc to ask away all the questions in the world even though they make me feel uncomfy etc. Even family members feel they can ask stuff that isn't any of their business. I had a meeting with my consultant today regarding the anaesthetic for my section I'm due in a couple of weeks as my last c-section didn't really go to plan. The aesthetic was unsuccessful last time and left me in agonising pain for hours after even days to be honest. I got two bed sores in hospital and the scar opened up later when i got home and got infected. I just feel that the whole process last time no one listened to me when i was in pain i wasn't taken seriously. When i got home this continued and everyone is so excited about the baby i just feel like i was overlooked? I sound so pathetic i know. All people care about is coming round and stuff and i just wanted to rest and process what had happened to me. I just feel really angry this time round, does anyone else feel like they have nothing that is theirs anymore?

Focusfocus Thu 11-Jun-15 18:07:46

Not at all. I'm halfway through this pregnancy and nobody has intruded anything and my midwife is most respectful, while clearly doing her job and raising issues and questions which is her job to raise.

I am sorry about your last C section experience. Sounds awful flowers

LolaStarr Thu 11-Jun-15 18:11:50

I never felt like my midwives or doctors were intruding, they were just doing their jobs. I can sympathise with people coming round after DS was born though. I had family members visiting who hadn't bothered to get in touch for years, and staying ages when I was knackered and just wanted some time to ourselves!

Topsy34 Thu 11-Jun-15 19:36:14

I can completely understand where you are coming from. I saw a consultant the other week and not a single person asked me how i felt so i stopped the consultant and said 'my understanding of this situation is xxxx and your preference is to approach it like xxx. I am not hapoy woth this and i want to take a much less managed approach, for example xxx. How will you be able to facilitate this.

Gain control over the situation and be prepared with questions, be prepared to say no or I'm not happy with that. When the receptionist said 'you have to tell me your religion' i said i am not happy answering reality you dont HAVE to answer any questions, but be realistic about what you are prepared to answer or not. Eg something like will you take a blood transfusion...i would say yes..i dont think that would be something you can refuse to decide on

Someone one here said be prepared and i did, and i felt much better about the situation

layla888 Fri 12-Jun-15 15:32:44

Thanks. At every appointment I get asked about my 5 pregnancies I have 2 ds and had a miscarriage and termination when I was 18 and end up having to explain every time what happened because whoever I'm seeing always asks. I just get so fed up with it as I never have seen the same consultant at the hospital so every time I'm explaining the past again and just feel like I can never truly leave it in the past. I just feel like I have no privacy at all!

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