Accidental pregnancy at 35 - what am I going to do?

[GlitteringJasper]

I didn't think I'd be back here on the pregnancy board after going through 2 lovely planned pregnancies and having 2 children already.

My youngest has just turned 6 months and I've discovered I'm pregnant again.

we've only dtd once since baby was born and we had a contraceptive failure so I took the morning after pill.

So I've discovered I'm pregnant. I don't understand this as I took the MAP 8 hours after condom failure.

Anyway, I've been drinking wine regularly and took some really strong painkillers for an episode of pain the other day, so not exactly a good start and I do appreciate its early days so no guarantee of anything yet.

Financially we will be really stretched.

I went through a period of being really broody when my second child was born but it passes after mumsnet assured me it was hormones

What on earth am I going to do?

I'll have 3 children under 4. A few years ago it looked like we weren't having any dc.

Sorry for the rambling.

Will the wine and painkillers matter?

I've not been taking folic acid either as obviously we weren't planning a baby.

[Athenaviolet]

Don't worry about the wine painkillers and folic acid.

Just now stop the first 2 and start the third.

I find writing out pros and cons lists helpful when I've got a difficult decision to make. I think it's a lot clearer seeing which list is longer than it churning around in your head.

[HairyMcMary]

What is most important to you ?
You can make what choices are best for you .

You made 2 pro active attempts to prevent pregnancy, the condom and MAP.

In your mind does this tell you
A) you are meant to have a third baby, it's what you want and you are trying to square the logistics
Or
B) you did all you could to avoid pg, you don't want another baby (right now) and you are looking for permission to yourself to end the of by talking about the painkillers etc ?

Either way you don't need permission to make your own choices : to have a baby despite it not being the plan, or to not go ahead.

Don't panic, take your time , spend time in your own head and heart .

[Sparklesandtassles]

Ditto Glittering. Just done test and looks like we're in the same boat. Want to hold my hand?

[AmberLav]

A friend of mine had a similar scare, as she was very late, and if she was pregnant, it would have meant 3 children under 3, which was not what she wanted (I have another friend who was very happy to have 3 children under 3, so not the end of the world if it is what you want).

She came to the conclusion that for her, a termination would be the right decision. In the end, she wasn't pregnant, but she knew exactly what she would do, and she had support from our other friends.

Don't worry about the wine and painkillers, but start taking folic acid until you make a decision (and obviously after if you decide that three is a good number for you).

Make the decision which is right for you and your family. Best wishes...

[Tillytoes14]

I am expecting my third baby in a matter of days, it was unplanned and I actually fell pregnant with a coil in situ. It took me a long time to come to terms with this pregnancy, also the shock of falling pregnant with what was supposed to be a very effective form of contraception. I went through a stage of denial too and it took me months to realise we were going to be having another baby, both me and my husband were happy with two children and I was supposed to be returning to work this year, after our second child started school. Saying this I feel this baby was meant to be, I had my coil removed during my pregnancy when it was located on a scan and was told the pregnancy would most likely end in a miscarriage, but against all odds, our baby stuck and I really feel blessed right now. For me an abortion wasn't something I knew I could go through, I did however consider it, but I knew deep down it was something emotionally, I would struggle with. A good heart to heart with your partner, will definitely help

[WinterOfOurDiscountTents15]

You don't have to go ahead with it if you don't want to. If you want to talk about other options there is also a pregnancy options board.
Best of luck.