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could really do with some advice!

(9 Posts)
babyblues19 Wed 10-Jun-15 16:55:48

!I am 20 weeks pregnant, 20 years old and single. My ex left me when I was 12 weeks. We didn't know each other very long when I got pregnant but decided to make a go of things to try and make a go of things. We moved into our own place and we were getting on really well, he always told me how happy he was and how he couldnt wait till we had our little family. All of a sudden his ex came back on the scene, they broke up over 2 years ago and had absolutely nothing to do with each other until she wanted him back when news spread I was pregnant, she was causing trouble from the start. He left me and went back to her. I am so upset and lonely, I'm finding this whole experience really difficult. The worst thing is that we have no contact at all and this breaks my heart. I refuse to let myself get in touch with him as I feel he should be trying to get in touch with me and I don't see why I should be chasing after him. What can I do?

TreeSparrow Wed 10-Jun-15 17:07:29

I'm really sorry to read this. I don't have much advice but didn't want to read and leave. Your ex sounds like a horrible, selfish waste of space. He doesn't deserve you and you clearly deserve better. Do you have family to support you? Sorry I can't suggest much practical advice flowers

Roseybee10 Wed 10-Jun-15 17:09:59

I'm really sorry. What a shit thing to go through when you're pregnant. Xx

babyblues19 Wed 10-Jun-15 17:23:55

Thanks for replying! I can't help but love him and I seem to miss him more everyday. We live in a small town so I always see his girlfriend and she just smirks at me, its really tough to see how much she is actually enjoying this. She came to me when I was pregnant to tell me what a waste of space he was and next thing she's trying to get him back, I reckon she had an agenda from the start. I only wish he could see that!! Yes I have my parents who are very supporting thank god!

fanjodisfunction Wed 10-Jun-15 17:34:39

of course you will love him he's the father of your baby. don't be upset that you do. and don't put all the blame on her, it was his choice to leave you and your baby.

you will be fine, once the babies here all will be OK. just look after yourself and that will look after the baby. he sounds like a waste of space to do this to you. your hormones at the moment will not be helping either.

good luck to you

contractor6 Wed 10-Jun-15 17:42:56

I think this maybe a karma comes back to them. Move on with your life and your precious little one, the right man will come along when you are ready, and he wont make you feel like rubbish. flowers

Newtobecomingamum Wed 10-Jun-15 18:35:35

You won't stop loving him over night and time will be a healer... You need to keep reminding yourself of the type of person he is if he can behave like this now before the baby is even born. He's no good and you are better off without him!! Let the ex have an unhappy miserable life with him - they deserve each other!!

Start focusing on building a happy life for you and the baby. Mr Right will be along when the time is right and remember you are still young and have the world ahead of you!!

Wishing you all the best flowers

Bellabutterfly2014 Thu 11-Jun-15 06:46:20

Oh baby blues that's awful - I really feel for you.

This happend to one of my best friends who's husband left her for his first girlfriend from school after chatting online - she was about 14-15 weeks pregnant at the time and initially found it really hard - but i said to her at the time, if someone is capable of being that cruel - you are better off without him and although it's horrible for you now, and very upsetting - try to rise above it and show him you're going to be a fabulous Mummy.
Her son is now 3 and she has a lovely new partner but she had some tough times before she got there.

It's good you have a supportive family round you, and surrounding yourself with positive people will make you feel better.

Have a look online or ask your GP as I know in our area there are groups for single parents both for before and after baby comes and that way you'll have some good support mechanisms in place and be in touch with people who understand how you are feeling too and can give you advice.

As for the other girl starring and smirking - I would say just be really friendly even if you feel ready to explode - if you are pleasant you're not only showing you're the better person but it will make her think.

I also think if someone leaves someone to be with someone else - like in his case, he is unlikely to stay with her - chances are he will leave her for someone else too so karma will come into play, maybe not this week/ month/ year but it will do eventually.

I would also get to citizens advice or take a free hour at the solicitors - my friend got £50 per month when she was pregnant from her ex for maternity expenses (clothing, healthy food) and a one off £500 for baby stuff he agreed to give her as voucher form and now she gets proper maintenance. By doing this, you're showing him you mean business and you're not to be messed with.

I hope it all goes ok for you - Bella xx

Cherryblossomsinspring Thu 11-Jun-15 10:36:57

Some people are just not nice. The ex gf sounds like an awful human being. Your ex sounds like a foolish man who doesn't realise the reality and responsibility of a baby and he's just suiting himself. Very selfish. You have no choice but to realise the responsibility of your situation but spend this time making a safe and comfortable life for you and your baby. You can be an excellent mother regardless of what the baby's father does or doesn't do. Unfortunately you didn't know each other well when this happened so you couldn't know what kind of person your ex is but even a decent person can become a terrible and selfish asshole when suddenly finding themselves trapped in a high pressure, high stakes situation like an accidental pregnancy. You will be ok.

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