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Labour Anxiety, positive stories needed!

(26 Posts)
happybunny2014 Wed 10-Jun-15 03:58:10

40 weeks today and am currently in very early labour with DD2 (lots of low down back ache, the odd irregular contractions, 3/4cm dilated and mucus plug has gone after a sweep with the doctor saying expect full labour soon after she did the sweep)and to be honest am now bricking myself about the whole thing. I found DD1's birth a very quick and out of control experience and it terrified me despute there being no major issues involved..

I keep getting rising waves of near panic thinking about what's to come yet sad I may sound totally nutty but Id love some help keeping calm? Positive birth stories and such would be welcome, or coping strategies people found useful?

thiskiwicanfly Wed 10-Jun-15 04:42:00

As trite as this sounds... Breathe! The less you breathe the more you will tense up and feel anxious. That's not to say overbreathe or hyperventilate but just keep on breathing, slowly and rhythmically.

Any birth can be a positive experience if you are willing to let it be so. FWIW mine didn't go at all to plan but even directly afterwards I could say that it was positive.)

You've done this before, you know that the desired end result is healthy baby and healthy mum. Trust your body and go with the flow, don't fight it.

I'm not sure if there is someone with you - but if there is then tell them what you want from them - distraction, support, physical touch or just to stay the hell away from you until you change your mind.

And most of all - congratulations! Truly wishing a positive experience for you, whatever that may be - everyone is different.

thiskiwicanfly Wed 10-Jun-15 04:43:06

I hope that doesn't sound trite, condescending, or lentil weaving - it's really not intended that way!

happybunny2014 Wed 10-Jun-15 04:57:02

No its really the sort of thing I wanted to hear, its remembering i have done it and can/have to do it again that im baring in mind. My DH is with me and following my instructions as my contractions are now closer by. Thank you for replying to me with some good advice.

willnotbetamed Wed 10-Jun-15 04:59:14

This time is bound to be better - you know a bit more what to expect, and so there's more chance you will feel in control. I had quick births with DC1 and DC2, and both times my body took over and I didn't have a lot of time to think, but I have better memories of the second, because I was more aware of what was happening and what I wanted. The second time I was more "active," stayed upright throughout, and generally felt like I was in control of the process.

Good luck!

thiskiwicanfly Wed 10-Jun-15 05:05:19

And yes, you do have to do this - one way or another that baby is coming out - so what you have to do is be present, be as calm as you can be, and know that there is a definite end point to this process. You can do this! shakes pompoms

I heard a podcast just the other day that said that calm can sometimes be roaring like a lion as well as quiet and serene - it's about being aware of what you are doing and how it is helping the situation move forward.

Please will you update at the end though, if not all through, I'm in NZ so I'm going to be awake for AGES if you need more chatter.

AlwaysDancing1234 Wed 10-Jun-15 05:06:21

Firstly congratulations! Don't want to sound silly or patronising but try and take some calm deep breaths if you can, it really does help.
Be honest with your midwife about what you want, even little things helped me like I didn't want my back rubbed during contractions so I told her so - such a small thing but speaking up helped me feel more in control (something I didn't have first time round).
You know you can do this, trust your body and focus on that beautiful baby that will soon come popping out! smile

coneywonder Wed 10-Jun-15 05:49:29

When people saying breathe try breathing in for 4 and out for 8 in between contractions and in for 20 and out for 20 during a contraction concentrating on breathing to your stomach so your uterus is getting lots of oxygen. I don't mean for 20 seconds either just count to that number when your doing the breaths.

Good luck and congratulations we were made for this!!!

happybunny2014 Wed 10-Jun-15 06:12:16

Thanks so much everybody! Things have intensified, am on my way to hosp to be checked over. Am tryna stay focused and not let the anxiety rule, as contractions are much stronger and quicker now. I will be using these tips to help and will update when I can ,just nice to know people are out there to give me advice smile

happybunny2014 Wed 10-Jun-15 11:33:49

Update: No progress at all. Likely to be sent home within the next hour or so... Frustrating and doesn't help anxiety!

Purpleboa Wed 10-Jun-15 13:02:47

Hey I'm 39 weeks so not far behind! First time baby so obviously have no stories to relate yet. I'm prone to anxiety and panic, so have been spending the past few weeks really trying to visualize labour as a positive experience. Been reading up on hypnobirthing, practising my breathing and generally just trying to be as calm and relaxed as possible. I want to feel in control and have complete confidence that my body and baby in know what they are doing.

I will let you know how that works out for me! But fingers crossed for you, I hope that this is a positive and wonderful birth for you xx

deepdarkwood Wed 10-Jun-15 13:07:25

If it helps - my second labour was a dream - partly because I knew I could do it. I'd done it before, so I knew it could happen (iykwim)
First time round I just never knew how 'bad' it might get/where I was/what might happen next. With the second, I felt more in control, calmer... and (I was lucky, I DO know this!) the birth was as good as it could have been - I felt in control, breathed through, visualised and kept calm, and had a wonderful midwife, who just worked with me to give me the confidence that I knew what I was doing, and whatever I thought was right ... was right.

Just know that it'll happen, that you'll do it, and that you'll come out the other end!

happybunny2014 Wed 10-Jun-15 19:06:27

Purpleboa: Best of luck with your labour when it happens. you sound like you've figured out things to help you cope and i hope it all goes how you want. Am sure you'll do great and I hope it all goes smoothly for you! You'll do fab

Deepdarkwood: Thanks for such a positive story! I just need to remember it does end and my body will know what to do.

Am home now waiting for contractions to become stronger as labour seemed to grind to a halt. 4cm dilated, constant backache and the odd contraction right now. Lets how tonight progresses!

thiskiwicanfly Wed 10-Jun-15 21:59:10

4cm! Well done - that's an excellent start - and you and your body did that - all by yourself, no-one else did it for you. See - you can do this! And you've coped! See - you can do this! Keep breathing, keep trusting and keep asking for what you need.

Looking forward to more updates (it'll liven up my work day which will be otherwise quiet as I've lost my voice!)

happybunny2014 Wed 10-Jun-15 22:50:05

Oh no, hopefully your voice will be back soon kiwi! Went for a wander earlier then spent some time on my birth ball. Now resting up a little. Will keep you updated on happenings. Got a very active baby as well which is good.

happybunny2014 Wed 10-Jun-15 22:56:19

Ps: by very active that means shes normal not over active or too active for her normal movements! She had a quiet spell yesterday and had to go in for monitoring but she's following her normal pattern now which is wriggly and active!

thiskiwicanfly Thu 11-Jun-15 02:19:55

I liked wriggly - but it must be the middle of the night for you!

My staff are all enjoying me having no voice - it's making things very quiet here today wink

thiskiwicanfly Thu 11-Jun-15 02:22:35

PS - don't forget to eat and drink as you want to (and as you can cope with) - that'll help keep your energy up throughout the process. I wasn't allowed to eat from very early in the piece and I was STARVING by the time dinner came around the next day.

happybunny2014 Thu 11-Jun-15 06:33:35

Ive been eating when I can, sticking to bland easy to digest things mostly. Managed to sleep okay so I have rested and woke up to mild backache and no contractions.... Seems I have one comfy baby!

thiskiwicanfly Thu 11-Jun-15 22:48:57

Haha - mine threatened to arrive before 24 weeks due to polyhydramnios of epic proportions, the specialists and midwives all told me she would be premature. Finally had to be evicted at 41+2 by c-section! By which stage I was quite literally rounder than I am tall (which isn't hard, I'm a shorty) and weighed approximately twice my healthy weight!

So I understand comfy babies grin

You are doing so well I think. And each day baby gets more lovely mummy time - when he/she is ready an appearance will be made, but it can't be long now. You sound quite calm and ready now, quite different from your first post. Go you!

thiskiwicanfly Thu 11-Jun-15 22:49:43

Gosh - I'm so late with that message (had a very early night last night) that by now you might even have your lovely squishy baby to cuddle!

Roseybee10 Fri 12-Jun-15 02:12:58

Hope you have your lovely baby by now, but if you haven't, I had a fab second labour.
It seems to take me a while to get into active labour (both times) but once I got past four cm then things went very quickly but very smoothly for me. My first daughter was a back to back labour which wasn't pleasant, although she came quickly after I got past 4.
Dd2 was very manageable and quick but not so quick that I felt out of control. I had a home birth so had to rely on breathing to cope with the contractions as the mw didn't arrive with the gas and air until 20 mins before she was born.
Deep breathing really helped in the early stages and then during transition I felt I needed to 'blow' the contractions away by exhaling forcible then taking a big deep breath again.
I felt my second labour was a really positive experience. I hope you have one also x

happybunny2014 Fri 12-Jun-15 05:31:07

She is here! 11.56pm 11/6/2015 weighing 8lb 8. Named Phoebe Alice. I had a pool birth... 4th degree tear. Was all okay.

thiskiwicanfly Fri 12-Jun-15 08:05:47

Well done! Congratulations and welcome to the world little Phoebe smile flowers

Roseybee10 Fri 12-Jun-15 08:26:08

Well done and congrats xx

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