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unsupportive partner :(

(5 Posts)
3rdbump Thu 21-May-15 22:58:52

39 weeks pregnant been niggling and feeling like rubbish for past 3 weeks. I have a totally unsupportive partner. 3 x this week he has gone out drinking and been unobtainable And come in smashed.
He's just come in now after the pub and I had to shout at him. Been having pains again today on off all the time. As I say It could just be a false alarm but still don't stop me from feeling anxious and worried when he is not here. We have 3 other children to worry about childcare etc have someone on call for them at least but there's no spare birthing partner for myself. I feel completeley let down. He's just told me to fuck off and go. Nice. Sorry this is becoming a regular thing now me posting it on here but I need someone to talk to.
Meant to be a happy exciting time instead it's a horrid stressful time. I feel depressed before I have even had the baby (past pregnancy suffered pnd) I just dread it knowing it's going to be worse this time around as he doesn't want me

Allthatnonsense Thu 21-May-15 23:06:58

Just forget about him. You need your energy for your children and new baby.

If he won't help and is fact making things worse, ask him to leave as a short term solution. If he won't leave, pretend that he has. Don't think about him, don't rely on him.

You can do this. Everything will be ok. Accept the situation and plan around it. You can't control his behaviour, only your own.

Let go and make it easy for yourself.

Chin up, head high.

ARV1981 Thu 21-May-15 23:18:52

It sounds like he doesn't deserve you.

Have you tried talking to him when he's sober? It's no good trying to reason with a drunk person, save your energy. (I know how f-ing frustrating it is when you're not pg so can only imagine how bad when you are.)

If he misses the birth, how will he feel? Maybe when he's sober, talk to him about that.

Something's making him drink like this. It's not fair or acceptable for you but now is not the time to try and deal with that problem - You won't get anywhere when he's pissed up.

Ideally he needs help, but if he won't get any then you have to ask yourself if this is the life you want for you and your children. Think about you.

flowers xxxx

Emjones88 Fri 22-May-15 11:26:09

With what (I'm sure it was you?) you posted before as well, I'm afraid Allthatnonsense could be right. As hard as it is. He might then come to his senses and speak up if there is something going on with him.

Hope you can find the strength you need and hold on to it. Xx

HazleNutt Fri 22-May-15 11:41:01

It's such a stressful time for you, but I think you have to prepare for having this baby without a partner, or finding someone else for child care. Your DP obviously cannot be trusted to do his part. And you cannot change him.

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