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freaking out, please help

(33 Posts)
upduffedandworrying Thu 21-May-15 09:13:34

I am 5 weeks pregnant with my first. No symptoms at all really, only one is vaguely tender breasts (only when pressed). No MS, no food cravings, no frequent weeing, no metallic taste. All the threads on here are full of women having loads of symptoms at this stage!

I have an anxiety disorder and the pregnancy has really set it off as I can't bring myself to feel excited about it, I just think it's totally inevitable I'm going to have a miscarriage.

Any words of wisdom?

MustBeLoopy390 Thu 21-May-15 09:16:06

Hi smile it's perfectly normal to have no/few symptoms, I'm 32 weeks pregnant with number 3 and had nothing much to start with, even had a negative test at around 5-6 weeks pregnant! I know this may not help much but try to stay calm and if you are really worried contact a doctor, hope you enjoy the rest of your pregnancy though smile

Lopsidale Thu 21-May-15 09:18:38

I'm 36+6 and I had no symptoms in the beginning. I was working 11 hours a day at a stables doing heavy physical activity plus riding about 4 horses everyday, right up until I found out I was pregnant at 21 weeks! I was feeling tired but I just put this down to the job. I had no morning sickness, in fact all the cravings and everything actually appeared more during my second and third trimester.
Everyone's different and I know a few woman who haven't experienced anything. It was because of not getting any symptoms I didn't even expect I was pregnant! I didn't even get a bump till about 26 weeks!
Good luck xxx

BowiesJumper Thu 21-May-15 09:19:00

I had zero symptoms at that stage and still don't have many at 16+ weeks, so don't worry about that. I was constantly worried about miscarriage and just assumed I would miscarry so I don't think that's too unusual!

Saying that, as you have an anxiety disorder, everything will be amplified, so I feel for you! Maybe a chat with your GP might help, as they could suggest some coping methods.

Talking it through always helps though so keep chatting here, you're not the only one to feel like this!

dottiemad Thu 21-May-15 09:19:07

Eraly stages I too only had sore breasts to touch. Later on (8/9 weeks) I had a little nausea but no sickness. Couldn't believe I was pregnant until the scan really and saw our little one in there!

I found out about the same time as you and it was a long 12 weeks until scan but find things tooccupy yourself and time will roll by.

Take care

DottyStripes Thu 21-May-15 09:20:30

I had zero physical symptoms throughout - till he started kicking grin

upduffedandworrying Thu 21-May-15 09:20:45

I was thinking of paying for an early scan at 8 weeks so I could see the heartbeat but I feel like that's just feeding my anxiety really...and also doesn't guarantee everything will be ok at 12 week scan.

thanks for your replies, really helps to read others have similar experiences smile

ARV1981 Thu 21-May-15 09:31:28

I was the same - hardly any symptoms at all. Only one at the very start was smoking made me feel sick (I stopped about 10 days before finding out because they just made me retch! I am so grateful to my body for this one) And like you, sore(ish) boobs.

At about 7 weeks I got very mild nausea for around a week.

Since then I've had appalling heartburn but nothing much else. I think we're the lucky ones! But this didn't stop me worrying. I think it's natural to be concerned.

I'm 23 weeks now, and I have a bump and am feeling regular kicks. This helped me feel better about it as I can see and feel it. The scans are also helpful as you can see baby in there.

I was naughty and bought a home Doppler. These aren't recommended by mw so please don't think I am recommending it to you, just saying I got one and it helped me in the early weeks (I think you may be too early for one though as the heart only starts beating at 7 weeks I think, and even then it's like the size of a pinhead so doesn't beat loudly enough to be detected). I never use it now because I have physical proof that baby is there with the kicks etc.

Hang on in there, 12 week scan seems like ages away, I know, but it does come round soon enough. Promise! flowers

TheMidnightHour Thu 21-May-15 09:35:01

I had very few symptoms and there are people (in my family even) who haven't even noticed a pregnancy until the second trimester as everything felt so normal.

I hope you have a supportive partner and GP to talk to about managing your anxiety generally. On a practical note, I found a few ways to manage my anxiety about pregnancy. What works for you will vary, but some things that helped me early on follow.

One was to track down a chart showing the decreasing risk of miscarriage by day, as I found watching the numbers go down helpful. I realise this isn't true for everyone, so I'm not linking. I will say that even at 5w the odds are much lower than people think (the worst risk is ALREADY PAST), and halves each week in weeks 6, 7 and 8.

I also got a private early scan for various reasons. Seeing a heartbeat at around 8w gives you very good odds (somewhere up around 98% that the pregnancy will continue successfully), and does rule out some other concerns (e.g. ectopic, which was my main one).

Finally, (and I'm now 25w, with other things to worry about!) I got my partner to do any web searches or medical research I needed, so I didn't have to go down the rabbit hole.

Best of luck smile

upduffedandworrying Thu 21-May-15 09:47:22

themidnight yes luckily I have a supportive DP. GP wise they've always been fine but I live in London and my practice is very busy so I hardly ever see the same one twice. thank you, those tips are really helpful. Wasn't sure whether to bother with private scan or not. still undecided!

arv that's a relief to hear about your lack of symptoms! I have read about Dopplers. very tempting but I think having one would just make my anxiety 10x worse, it would definitely feed it

thank you ladies, you have made me feel calmer!

ARV1981 Thu 21-May-15 10:22:21

That's why I said I wasn't recommending it to you. I must admit I became obsessed with it between around 10 and 18 weeks, using it every day, freaking out if I couldn't find the heartbeat straight away. If you think it would give you anxiety then do not be tempted. I think that's why mw don't like them. In hindsight, I don't think it was the best decision to buy it....

lauraa4 Thu 21-May-15 10:25:05

upduffedandworrying like all of these ladies I had barely any symptoms either grin

I had an early scan at 8 weeks only because my anxiety was so bad due to a mmc last year, and then again at 18 weeks but to be honest I didn't actually need them considering my baby is fine, I'm now 22 weeks. Obviously at the time I was a nervous wreck!

I was put off buying a Doppler scanner only because sometimes the baby can be very hard to find due to them moving around and hiding and I felt it may scare me even more. At my 16 week midwife appointment she was trying to find the heartbeat for a good 2 or 3 mins because he was in an awkward place. If I was on my own and couldn't find it I'd probably go into a meltdown!

Having said that loads of people have found them reassuring but If your anything like I was it may make you more worried.

lynniep Thu 21-May-15 10:35:18

honestly - many women have no symptoms at this stage - they don't even know they are pregnant. You are anxious because you are reading about the women that do!

When I was pg with DS1 I had very sore breasts from early on and this is how I knew.

With DS2 it was a total surprise. I looked at the calender one day and thought - hang on - how long is it exactly since I had a period? <shit>!! I was 11 weeks by then and I'd had no symptoms - nor did I get any (unless you count the belly and the heartburn which kicked in around 5 months). Of course my scan was late because they couldn't fit me in for the 12 week one!

Sometimes you just don't lovely. You just don't. I know you might feel like you should/want to just to prove the presence of a baby, its just that some babies don't want to let you know!!

Rudawakening Thu 21-May-15 10:43:27

At your stage I had no symptoms at all either, not even sore boobs. When I hit six weeks MS kicked in severely and I've been sick ever since, now 10+1 and the nausea is worse this week than ever.

You're still early in terms of symptoms most either don't get any or they start around week 6.

SueGeneris Thu 21-May-15 10:47:50

Yep. I had absolutely no symptoms at all apart from what felt like period pains (!!) early on. No funny taste, no sickness or tiredness, boobs just the same as usual.

Had this with each of my 3 DC. And remember how much I worried about it too! Good luck to you.

upduffedandworrying Thu 21-May-15 10:49:48

oh thank you, I think I have been reading the wrong things!

obviously more women who have miscarriages etc post on internet forums looking for help and support, which I think has led me to believe they're an inevitable outcome rather than a possibility.

SueGeneris Thu 21-May-15 10:52:19

It's a very stressful time, early pregnancy. I tend to anxiety too. I pretty much counted the minutes of each pregnancy the first 12 weeks!

WyrdByrd Thu 21-May-15 10:56:41

The first twelve weeks are hard because you know you are pg but there's often no 'evidence'.

My symptoms didn't kick in until 6+ weeks, after which I was sick for pretty much my entire pregnancy and really wished they'd f*ck off!

DottyStripes Thu 21-May-15 11:07:11

OP although I had no symptoms physically like I said, I did utterly ruin my pregnancy and subsequently have some bonding issues with my baby due to an anxiety disorder

Things I wish I had done:
Learned to knit cute baby items
Gone to prenatal yoga
Joined a mums 2 be social group
Shopped for baby things
Only consulted a helpful guide to pregnancy book (and stayed away from Google and pregnancy forums!)
Done pregnancy/birth hypnosis

Things I wish I had never done:
Bought a Doppler
Paid for extra scans
Spent my time on pregnancy forums - because with my anxiety that one in a million post about something going wrong for someone was what I zoomed into and ignored all the positive birth stories and naming ones etc
Used google for anything! Same as the forums I zoned in on all the negatives and worried about things which quite frankly some of them my midwife wasn't even familiar with - it was THAT rare
Avoided doing the happy things because I thought it would end in miscarriage or still birth anyhow

In hindsight I now have a lovely healthy tot and it might be easier to say this but I feel that if I fell pregnant again and God forbid something went wrong, if it had with my son id have no happy memories of him at all therefore I would put all my energy into enjoying however long or short I had that baby for iyswim. If something goes wrong it's a huge loss anyhow, but not enjoying any of it will only add to that loss.

Being a mum doesn't start at birth, your already one now - treat this as a time for you to learn how to enjoy it if you can. Perhaps even indulge in some lovely neals yard mum and baby toiletries etc wink

upduffedandworrying Thu 21-May-15 11:09:41

Dotty what a lovely post, thank you.

batfish Thu 21-May-15 11:34:06

I know it's impossible as I was a massive worrier in the early days but try not to worry too much. I had no symptoms either other than sore boobs and the worst thing I did was Google no symptoms (lots of horrid stories of mmc) and compare myself to others at the same stage as they all seemed to be dying from morning sickness and I didn't feel in the slightest bit pregnant which to me meant that something had definitely gone wrong. Before a scan at 9 weeks I had even rehearsed in my head how I would respond when I was told the bad news.

However I am now 20 weeks and all is fine, I am much more relaxed about it all but the early stages were terrifying. I feel a bit sad that I let the fear take over because hubby wanted to get excited and I wouldn't even talk about it so then by the time I relaxed after 12 week scan it already felt like old news so we never really had that excitement in the early days.

No amount of me telling you to stop worrying will make you relax but no symptoms is usually absolutely fine - I can't say always because sometimes it isn't OK - but exactly the same goes for people having loads of symptoms. Hope you feel more relaxed soon, it feels soooo much better when you do.

ARV1981 Thu 21-May-15 12:29:34

Dotty, you've struck a chord here. My identical twin sister had a stillborn baby girl. When I mentioned all my worries to her she said to me "enjoy all the time you have with your baby, you may not get more" - which is an upsetting thought of course, but true.

OP try not to worry. It won't help. It'll just make you feel like crap.

I know I'm a fine one to talk (my sister's situation makes me incredibly worried) but please, try to enjoy it while you can.

Stop googling. It's not helpful.

I'm giving you advice I wish I'd followed in the early days!

Like I said before, it gets more real when you see the bump appear and feel it moving.


Skiptonlass Thu 21-May-15 12:50:24

Don't worry about your lack of symptoms - some unlucky sods like me have been glued to a sick bucket for months - I envy you smile

If you think it'll help, you could have an early scan. I did, and I found it reassuring, although I was still nervous at the 13 week one ... Which turned out to be fine! Now I'm worrying about the 20 week one. I think pregnancy is a very anxiety inducing time. Part of that is just natural- you're doing a huge, unfamiliar thing, but if you feel your anxiety I'd controlling you, it's time to seek help.

Definitely, definitely see someone about your anxiety. I'm an anxious person and pregnancy has made it worse for me.

If also second the pp above who says don't google. I do do this, but I have a science/ medical background so I'm able to sort the truth from the scaremongering, but I see again and again on these forums that too much dr. Google is a very bad thing! The nhs website is great. Very unhysterical and sensible. Use that as your start point and don't be afraid to ask your midwife anything - that's what they are there for. Or ask these boards! I've had lots of useful advice from here smile

Allstoppedup Thu 21-May-15 12:53:25

I am always very anxious in early pregnancy and its horrible!

For what it's worth I had lots of morning sickness (and HG) but still worried!

The most logical piece of advice I was given about reading up/googling/comparing was that people with difficult symptoms or pregnancies are 10 times more likely to post online than those who are having few to no symptoms. So looking at the internet to see what is 'normal' gives a massively skewed view of how it actually is. I found that helped me put things into perspective a bit more.

It's impossible to say don't worry, because you will anyway but I've found it does get easier.

Congratulations on your pregnancy. flowers

minijoeyjojo Thu 21-May-15 12:54:47

Early pregnancy is really stressful as there are so many unknowns, but do try not to worry too much.

Its completely normal not to have any of the typical symptoms, I'm 21 weeks now and aside from about 30 mins at lunch one day I didn't experience any nausea. I only had mild soreness in my breasts and aside from that felt pretty fine!

Even the morning of my 12 week scan I was convinced something was wrong, but nope baby was in there kicking away like a trooper! Now I just count myself as lucky as to have had a nice easy start to pregnancy (long may it continue *fingers crossed*).

Try to enjoy it, whilst it doesn't feel like it now, the weeks will fly by and you'll soon be marvelling at how quickly your pregnancy has gone!

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