are the first 2 weeks really that bad?

[Emilyjane11]

Hi ladies,

I'm 33 weeks with dc1 and I think I'm finally coming to terms with labour and feel quite calm about the whole thing, but, and maybe it's me constantly needing something to think about but having seen 3 of my friends have babies recently, I'm now worried about how draining the first 2 weeks will be. I am fully expecting it to be hard work and tiring but 2 of the 3 friends I mention have really really struggled. I guess I'm looking for some positivity to help me on my way again.

Having this baby is allllll I'm thinking about and I think it's starting to show. Xx

[BananaToast]

I've got an almost 4 week old and honestly found everything much easier than I expected - labour, recovery, sleepless nights, the lot. I think I expected it all to be so hard that reality was a pleasant surprise. Feeding was probably the hardest bit for me - it was really sore at first but now rarely hurts at all. I know some people do find it difficult, and that I've been lucky, but don't stress too much now as you might find it easier than you think.

[Iggi999]

It was very hard for me but I was also madly in love with the baby so that more than cancelled it out

[Griffomais]

I didn't find things difficult until DD started teething at 6 months. If you're realistic in your expectations you'll be fine. Your baby will cry, you will get much less sleep its all new but if you've got a supportive DH and you mentally prepare yourself then it doesn't have to be the horror story that others portray. People only ever tell you the bad bits. Your experience will be unique to you. I hope you get a chance to relax and enjoy it. As I always tell myself they are only small for a very short time. My DD is 18 months and I'm 8 weeks pregnant with DC2. Best of luck

[AbbeyRoadCrossing]

I really depends on how your birth goes and recovery afterwards, and how easy you find feeding, how the baby sleeps etc. There's so many variables it's impossible to know.
It's a shock (you can't really prepare for the sleepless nights) but it's very worth it! I'm looking forward to my 8 month old sleeping through one day though

[buntingbingo]

Much much harder the 2nd time with newborn and toddler. I shudder when I think about it. My memories of first weeks with first are just being blissed out. It was lovely.

[bwow]

I think so. No one told me about it though. I was worried about the labour. I was blissfully unaware of the first two weeks. However I was BF dd who had a TT. My nipples were bleeding and very sore. I had baby blues about 5 days after birth. It's an emotional roller coaster. Take all the help you can get! Do what you can to make things easier. Don't expect any kind of routine. You'll be a zombie for about a month but it'll pass! Good luck.

[youlemming]

It's difficult to say how you will find it, everyone is different.
Yes it will be tiring as you get used to the day and night feeds and new life with a baby.
But also those first few weeks are great in many other ways.
Having your partner, family or close friends to help out and give you a break will make things a little easier.

[coneywonder]

Thanks everyone. I think my expectations are reasonable and I have a very supportive oh and family around me so I know I'll be fine. Just having another wobble I think x

[BitchPeas]

DS was so hard, had reflux, never slept for more than 20 mins, didn't sleep through til age 2.5! Long and hard labour that knocked me for six for about 3 months.
DD is a text book baby, she's so good and content, sleeps and feeds like a dream. Easy labour, felt fine 12 hours later and have had no problems since.

Whatever happens, be kind to yourself and ask for help and support if/when you need it. And enjoy it!

[TinyMonkey]

Realistically, the first six weeks are hard. Everyone warned me. Whilst you're in it, you just keep on keeping on. It's only once you get past that bit that you look back and realise how difficult it was.

Don't get me wrong, it's not unremittingly awful, but you are getting to know each other, getting used to lack of sleep, feeding, being three instead of two, and it can feel overwhelming...you also don't get much back from the baby.

But then, at around six weeks, they finally smile at you and suddenly it all becomes worth it!

I say all of the above as the mother of a six month old who was, I now realise, a very easy baby. It gets better and better.

Good luck.

[TinyMonkey]

Oh, and the best bit? Having a baby gives you amnesia, so you will barely remember the lowest points in a few months.

[Roseybee10]

The first two weeks are fine. After four weeks I found it harder coz they don't just sleep all the time lol x

[Mintyy]

I found the first week or two weeks ok with both as they did sleep a lot, and I had very low expectations of what I wanted to achieve. So I concentrated on establishing breastfeeding and taking care of my c-section scars, receiving a few visitors and so on. Was fine. Dh was mostly home from work, I felt quite supported.

Weeks 3 - 6 were terrible! I thought I was going mad. But this stage I wanted to be up, dressed and going out to the shops, or doing something other than holding a baby (I had low expectations, just thought it would be nice to empty the dishwasher or make a cup of tea) but both babies became restless and colicky by this age and cried all the time and wouldn't be put down.

By week 8 I'd made it out to a couple of breasfeeding or NCT meetups and got to grips with using a sling and started to feed myself better and make times for regular cups of tea.

By week 12 it was all ok really, apart from sleep!

[NickyEds]

The first three weeks with ds were absolutely awful. He had Tt so feeding was a nightmare, I barely ate, never slept, he lost weight, I cried every day, the anxiety was crippling ....I swore I would never do it again (despite all the plans for two close together). By 5 weeks things were much more managable, by 8 weeks I was loving it, by 10 months I was pregnant again! I wish I'd known about the baby blues and how grim it could be because my biggest fear was that it wouldn't pass. Discovering mn was a bit of a Godsend TBH.

[weelamb123]

I think its best to prepare urself for it being difficult and maybe u'll be pleasantly surprised. My ds is 9 years old and I'm 30 weeks with dc2. Ive forgotten what it'll be like but I do remember dealing with things quite well with ds. I'm terrified this time round and preparing myself for it to be hard. Xx

[orangutanhihio]

I agree with pp, assume it'll be hard with not much sleep, then you may find it easier than expected tbh the things I found hardest were recovering from birth and the culture shock of going from 30 years of no dc to having this crying, helpless creature to care for day and night! I do remember getting cabin fever, so try to get out with baby even if it's just a short walk with the pram. You'll be fine, good luck!

[HazleNutt]

Friend had a baby with colic and describes the first months as pure hell.

I found it really easy and didn't understand what people were complaining about. OK, cluster feeding was not that much fun, but otherwise DS only ate and slept, so I was positively bored.

So it really depends on what you get.

[MintChocAddict]

Definitely down to luck I think but if you've got support around you then you'll be fine.

I had good experiences both times with the early weeks/months.

Now the toddler to preschool stage - that's a whole different ball game!

[S2b16]

For me with my 2 dc, the first two weeks were amazing for looking after the baby as your just so overwhelmed that you've made them and run off adrenaline but the after pains and feeding were awful but looking at baby helps
Nothing is as bad as teething or when they are poorly, 11 years of being a mam and I still struggle with them being poorly as your helpless. Everyone is different and I guess if your expecting the worst you can only be surprised.
One bit of advice everyone says is sleep when baby does but I found this impossible as I just wanted to hold or look at baby. My advice to new mums is sod the housework, it will be there a lot longer than your baby is little, crack the whip with dp

[Levismum]

Ive got 6dc.

They were all different. Births different, recoveries different.

Don't worry too much. Nothing is predictable, just go with the flow!

[iwonder24]

I thought it was really hard. Hardest couple of weeks of my life in fact. But I has a really rosy vision of what it would be like so it was a huge shock to the system for me and I just found the whole sudden change of lifestyle so overwhelming. The birth wasn't fantastic so that could be why. It got easier very quickly though and I have fond memories of the time too, it wasn't all horrendous.

Second time I found it so much easier because I knew what to expect and there was no huge culture shock due to already having one child.

Sounds like you're aware that it could be a difficult time so you should be fine!

[lexyloub]

Yes its hard, your insides feel like they're going to drop out, your whole body aches, you've got boobs like bowling balls, you've no idea what day it is, but maternal and superhero powers take over and you just do it. That little bundle of cuteness makes you forget how shit your feeling.
My advice is take each day as it comes don't put pressure on yourself to go visiting or to have visitors, if you feel up to it on the day fine if you don't then get on the phone and say you'll re arrange when your up to it. Also accept help from parents siblings close friends with the household chores if someone offers to do your washing ironing etc snap their hand off. Them 1st couple of weeks are all about you & your baby bonding let someone worry about the rest of it.

[TurquoiseDress]

I think every woman and every baby are so different.

I found it fairly 'easy' the first couple of weeks, definitely easier than I expected. My LO seemed to want to sleep all the time!
A few weeks later and he'd definitely become a bit more lively, but he did sleep well and he wasn't a baby that you couldn't put down.

Had friends who literally had to keep their baby in their arms to prevent crying/screaming.

I remember sitting on the sofa one morning, watching BBC news about the rubbish weather & train delays, looking at my LO asleep next to me and thinking how lucky I was!

Also, I'd say that I didn't have many/any expectations really. It was an unexpected pregnancy, didn't read many books that went beyond the 3rd stage of labour!

Some friends who had planned their pregnancies with military precision, did all the NCT, bought every top of the range product under the sun- they seemed to be the ones who swore never again/confessed they wondered if it had all been a huge mistake!
Good luck

[Ragwort]

Agree with Turquoise - I found it all pretty easy - but I was incredibly lucky in that I had a baby that slept most of the time and was happy to be put down.

Save your energy for the teenage years .

[5YearsTime]

First two weeks were super hard but my baby was in the NICU for almost a week so emotionally we were completely fucked. Then baby came home and the sheer emotional and physical exhaustion hit.

There's also establishing breast feeding which I found pretty painful for weeks, physically recovering from birth, the night sweats and feeling like I was 'on high alert' all the time.

In the evenings I would feed baby and DH would then take her and send me to bed for a few hours. Took a while to relax enough to sleep but these naps kept me sane. Everything's better after a rest.

Once the crazy breastfeeding goes away a hit, it's brilliant!