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How do you stop obsessing in the first 12 weeks???

(22 Posts)
iloveberries Mon 18-May-15 13:39:43

7 weeks tomorrow and so excited and happy.

But i can't stop obsessing. I had an early scan due to previous ectopics and the baby is in the right place but the midwife said it was too early to see the heartbeat. I have another scan a week tomorrow but every day seems to DRAG as I worry that something is going to go wrong! It's stupid I know as I can't control any of it but it's freaking me out that apart from soreish boobs (not as sore as they were 2 weeks ago) and tiredness (moderate not crippling like with my pregnancy with DS) I just don't feel pregnant....

How can I go through 5 more weeks like this? I am sending myself insane!!!

Ragwort Mon 18-May-15 13:59:12

No idea ............ but then I didn't find out I was pregnant until 10 weeks grin. If I am totally honest having a baby wasn't such a 'big deal' to me as it clearly is to some women - I don't mean that to sound unkind, but it's just the way it is.

I think if you are the worrying type then you will worry whatever ........ just try and think about something else - but I expect you will find that difficult. smile

Stinkylinky Mon 18-May-15 14:02:35

To be honest, you don't.

I worried the whole time before I had my first scan at 13 weeks!

lemon101 Mon 18-May-15 14:10:49

You don't stop obsessing - and if you are like me you just build up to an insane fever pitch prior to the 12 week scan. People at work (who don't know but got the brunt of it) are treating me like I might be carted off to an asylum at any moment!

It is the worst. Officially the worst.

lauraa4 Mon 18-May-15 14:39:16

I was the same as you. That was down to having a mmc last year so I was a nervous wreck all the time this time round! To be honest it was only after my 20 week scan I stopped obsessing.

I think when you go through a miscarriage or ectopic or anything like that you will naturally worry more. Also the sore boobs etc they will come and go. Mine hurt up until about 8 weeks and then didn't start hurting again until about 12.

People kept saying to me that I needed to relax etc but I do know how hard it is for you.

Stinkylinky Mon 18-May-15 14:39:55

It does get a lot better after the first trimester though (well it did for me!) time has flown by, I'm now 32+6

DefinitelyNotElsa Mon 18-May-15 15:22:25

I agree with the PPs... You don't.

I got my BFP at 3+6 and the wait between then and 12 weeks seemed to be forever. I'm now 21+1 and time is flying by!

Hobby2014 Mon 18-May-15 15:25:47

You don't.
You stress until that scan. Then your symptoms stop and you stress until you can feel movement and kicks. Then you stress when you can't feel them as much. Then when they're born you stress more. Mines only 9 months and I still stress and worry about lots of things.
You don't stop... ever.

AbbeyRoadCrossing Mon 18-May-15 16:00:36

I don't stop stressing either!
Currently on 20 week scan stress out countdown. Then if that's fine I'll be stressed until 37weeks as I had a preemie last time.
I'd love to be one of those relaxed pregnant women but I think with me it's a mixture of previous experience and personality - I've always been a worrier
Good luck OP!

OneLittleManOneInOven Mon 18-May-15 16:10:51

Nearly 18 weeks here and I think once you get over one hurdle (dating scan) Etc, then you worry about the anomaly scan and after that you worry if your bump is too big or small and then the birth lol, being a parent is a worry, end of x

LorryHen Mon 18-May-15 16:13:13

I'm 17 weeks and i worried and stupidly googled everything. I've definitely calmed down since 12 weeks but then I spent 2 weeks worrying about the screening results now I'm freaking out about the anomaly scan.

I'm sure I'll find something new after that!

MrsGentlyBenevolent Mon 18-May-15 16:21:54

Yeah, sorry it doesn't stop! I thought knowing everything was ok at the 12 week scan could keep me going until week 20. Ha, nope. Since I haven't felt anything substantial or look very pregnant, the wait for my next scan seems worse than the original wait. Two days to go, I'm climbing the walls with nerves and worry (as is my poor partner). Since I'm not working at the moment, Netflix has become my best friend in keeping my mind off things haha. I have no idea what I'll be like for the next 20 weeks!

New30 Mon 18-May-15 18:40:48

I'm 22 weeks and feel like every day is spent worrying! Wishing my life away waiting for September! I don't think it gets easier but I do worry a lot and I'm very impatient!

batfish Mon 18-May-15 19:40:32

I was absolutely terrible - I had scans at 6, 9 and 13 weeks and before each one I was absolutely totally convinced that the baby had died - I also had no symptoms (now think myself very lucky) and I was pretty much hyperventilating in the waiting area before each scan with anxiety, I had rehearsed in my head how I would react when I was given the bad news. Totally bonkers but nothing could make me believe things were OK. I had a scan at 18 weeks and that was the first one where I had excitement more than anxiety. So honestly I would say there isn't really any way to stop worrying - your head knows it's crazy but you can't help it! For me it is just time that has made it better and getting past the first trimester with everyone looking OK. Hope you feel better soon, I am sure all will be fine.

Bayswaterbelle Tue 19-May-15 07:30:27

I'm 11 weeks with my scan booked for next week, so I'm getting a bit better at remaining calm and trying to distract myself from worries, but I don't think I'll relax until the baby's born, to be honest, all being well.

I worry when I don't feel pregnant and I worry something's going wrong when I do have symptoms...and I feel very cross with myself sometimes because all I want to do is come home from work and get into bed :-)

One thing that's helped me has been focusing on some things that I can control - sounds really boring but even things like eating cereal with a banana and taking folic acid every morning means I feel like I'm doing something helpful. If you think of a few good rituals for yourself, could be lots of things, and then congratulate yourself when you do them, it might help a bit ;-)

Congratulations and good luck!!

ARV1981 Tue 19-May-15 08:21:27


I think worrying is part of being a mum. I'm 23 weeks and have worried the whole time.

I look at my mum, still worrying about me and my sisters, our husbands, my nephew....the dog.... and I don't think it ever stops! I think it's hard wired once you become a parent and that's just how it is!

Wishing you all the best for your pregnancy xxx flowers

u32ng Tue 19-May-15 10:35:54

I honestly didn't noticeably stop being anxious until after the 20wk scan, after having a mc at 7wks. Sorry! But I remember well the stage you're at and do whatever you can to distract yourself!

I have my 12wk scan on Friday for dc2 and I am more relaxed this time but also quite anxious now to see that baby is in fact ok in there!!

iloveberries Tue 19-May-15 19:54:53

Hoping your 12 wk scan goes well.

I had a hint of nausea today and was delighted!

Seems like it's going to be a long 5 weeks! I know the odds are stacked heavily in my favour but I don't dare let myself imagine bringing our baby home or finally giving my DS a sibling. I let myself think about it for a second and it seemed so wonderful I almost want to not think about it just incase it doesn't happen!

1 week till the 8 wk scan - so hoping to make it and see that heartbeat

u32ng Fri 22-May-15 21:49:12

Not long until your scan berries!

I forgot to say that I had a scan at about 7wks too (after the miscarriage) and I felt so sick with worry in the few hours beforehand. When the sonograoher finally turned the screen and asked if we would like to see our baby (although a mere blob at this stage!) DH & I cried buckets as we could see the heart beating and the relief was immense.

I so wish the same experience for you - to see that heartbeat and to remove a piece of your anxiety.

12 week scan today - all is good and I am immensely relieved.

lljkk Fri 22-May-15 22:10:38

I was too busy puking up my guts to fret about anything. hth.

pourmeanotherglass Fri 22-May-15 22:18:09

Sorry, I didn't manage it either. I had trouble getting pregnant, so was absolutely paranoid about anything going wrong. I'd like to tell you there's an end to the worry - but mine are now age 10 and 12, and I still worry about them - I worry about them crossing roads on their own, cycling to school safely, going our with their friends, etc.

iloveberries Sun 24-May-15 20:50:35

Yes! I have a 5yr old and the worry doesn't stop!
I am trying not to think too much about scan. I just want all to be ok. Two sleeps to go

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