Would you like to be a member of our research panel? Join here - there's (nearly) always a great incentive offered for your views.

Going to NCT Classes all on my lonesome, pretty nervous at the prospect!!

(15 Posts)
Bex174 Tue 12-May-15 21:31:19

I'm starting on an NCT Essentials course on Saturday, much later than planned as I'm due at the very end of June/start of July but family circumstances meant I'm only just getting the 'me and bump' time needed to do this.

Problem is my OH is away at a stag do this weekend and had pre-booked business commitments on 3 out of the other 4 sessions. We didn't see the point in spending the extra for him to just go to one 2hr sesh.

When we planned this a couple of weeks back it was all good by me and made sense, but I got an email from my NCT class leader today and found out I'm the only one going alone, everyone else is taking their partner. No idea why, but this has put the fear of God in me for attending solo!

Has anyone else gone to NCT or any antenatal classes alone? Does it feel awkward or is it really ok?

I know, I know, I'm being a wimp! I'm normally really sociable and used to being thrown into rooms full of people I don't know due to my day job. I blame this on the hormones smile

TarkaTheOtter Tue 12-May-15 21:40:16

Do you have to pay extra for partners? - I'm sure I didn't when we went. I have to admit that in general people bought partners but there was almost always someone who's partner couldn't make it on any given week.

catsdogsandbabies Tue 12-May-15 21:44:43

I went alone, it was fine don't worry.

AlcoholicsUnanimous Tue 12-May-15 22:55:39

I've just got back from an NCT class which I attended alone as my partner is away, as I did last week too. There is some content about the role of fathers and birth partners but I think you could relay it to your OH.

boatrace30 Wed 13-May-15 06:52:26

I went to one of the sessions on my own, it was fine! Others were one their own in the following session. You don't pay extra for partners though. So you could bring a friend/family member. I wouldn't say its late either. I'm due on 7th June and just did my course in the last two weeks.

Hophop987 Wed 13-May-15 06:58:45

One of my NCT friends was alone as her husband works abroad. She did bring her friend to couple lessons since we didn't have to pay for partners either.

roughtyping Wed 13-May-15 07:51:04

When I had DS I went to NHS classes alone, I was the only one alone for nearly all. Didn't help that I was also the youngest by about 10 years, I was only 17. Just got on with it! You'll be fine.

NerrSnerr Wed 13-May-15 07:53:23

It's fine- I went to the first one alone and one of our nct friends did them all alone as she's a single parent. It was fine.

Skeppers Wed 13-May-15 09:22:04

Just interested to read this; I had to pay extra for my partner to come along, even though he can't make all of the sessions! Maybe this is a recent change? Unless I've been conned!

OP- you'll be fine. My original intention was to go it alone as I didn't think it would be DH's cup of tea, but he insisted that he wanted to be involved. Second the suggestion above that you could bring a friend/family member instead; on the weeks my DH can't attend I'm bringing my little sister who's training to be a midwife...figured it would be just as useful for her as for me! grin

ConnortheMonkey Wed 13-May-15 09:31:42

DH didn't attend more than half of mine, he was working shifts. You'll be fine on your own, the women tend to group and chat anyway and most of it is class based exercises

PazRaz1975 Wed 13-May-15 10:08:36

It really will be fine - within 5 mins of getting there you'll find most people really chatty and friendly. Everyone is there for the same reason, to learn all about the birth etc, but in most case to make friends and this is mostly the women!
We had 2 people without OHs, one who bought a friend as her OH couldn't do weekends and another who was a single mum and so decided to go it alone to the class as she needed to just put herself out there to get to know people for the support.

Lipsync Wed 13-May-15 10:19:27

My partner missed about a third of ours unavoidably, but it made zero difference. I agree with other posters that it's primarily about the women making friends so they don't go mad on maternity leave - the information is largely stuff you already know if you've ever read a pregnancy book, or freely available elsewhere, like free NHS classes. In fact it was well over a year before I saw any of the men again after the course, though the women met often after the babies started coming.

In fact, I didn't much like any of the other women on our course and the contact petered out quickly, so the NCT was an expensively, pointless exercise for me, which I wouldn't do again, but I know some people find the friendships valuable. Hopefully that will be the case for you.

Bex174 Wed 13-May-15 21:05:17

Thanks guys, that's made me feel much more relaxed about it. As this will be my first antenatal classes I just didn't know what to expect and finding out I was the only soloist made me start worrying a little...

Mainly I'm heading to them to get a support network going, so I ha e my fingers crossed i have a good groups of people who can take me under their wings smile

BeaufortBelle Wed 13-May-15 21:14:51

Don't worry. My DH came to one out of six. It was the one about water births. He hummed the signature tune from jaws and I wished he hadn't been there grin.

In all seriousness I did feel a bit awkward and did feel a bit that I was the odd one out amongst the "devoted" coupledom. I stayed in touch with my group though. In spite of all that devotion only DH and me and one other couple are still together (21 years on) so really OP, I wouldn't worry in the slightest. It means nothing. Just go and be confident - your relationship is sufficiently strong for you to let your DH do what he needs and to cope on your own.

BikeRunSki Wed 13-May-15 21:15:52

My NCT class had a single mum, a couple who worked opposite shifts and only managed yo come to the class together once or twice and s couple who worked in opposite directions and never both arrived on time. With that last couple the dad was usually on time, and his wife was often late, so he was often "single dad". Anyway, our NCT leader was brilliant and accommodating and involving them all.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now