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Missed miscarriage

(11 Posts)
Thelly86 Tue 12-May-15 13:45:22

I went for a private scan on Saturday. I told my midwife a couple of times that I was concerned because I was having no pregnancy symptoms but they kept reassuring me all would be fine. I have 2 children & have miscarried once before so I feel I can tell the difference between a developing pregnancy & one that isn't working.
Any way, the scan confirmed my fears. The sac is empty and measures about 4-5 weeks, i was supposed to be almost 9 weeks. I have an appointment with the early pregnancy assessment unit next Monday, 9 days after the scan. Why does it take so long? Why has my body not realised the baby hasn't developed in a month? I've had no spotting or anything. I just don't understand why it's not coming away on its own if it hasn't grown in so many weeks sad has any one else had multiple miscarriages but also had successful pregnancies? I'm 27, i don't drink or smoke, i don't know what i've done wrong sad

afloat Tue 12-May-15 13:51:24

I don't have any practical advice but I just want to say I'm so sorry for your loss. It's almost certainly nothing that you did - two thirds of miscarriages are because of chromosomal faults. There's an article today in the Guardian about how many feel guilty for no reason, and many don't realise that it's actually very common. I hope that you get some comfort from it. Hugs.

www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2015/may/11/misconceptions-miscarriage-boost-guilt-shame-feeling-study

lauraa4 Tue 12-May-15 14:33:30

I had a mmc January last year. I didn't find out until my 12 week scan, baby was not alive but measuring at 10 weeks. For whatever reason it stopped growing and stayed inside me for 2 weeks until it was discovered by ultrasound sad when you have a mmc your body doesn't register what's happened which is why it still thinks it's pregnant, and therefore does not start the bleeding etc.

I opted for surgical management with the option for them to run tests to see if they could find what happened. They didn't know what happened and put it down to bad luck. I still don't know what the cause was, they said normally when things like this happen it's down to issues with the baby, not anything that you have done. I was seen within 2 days of confirming the miscarriage so I do feel for you that you are having to wait 9 days - it's very unfair and heart breaking.

happygojo Tue 12-May-15 15:12:04

You have done NOTHING wrong. This is called a blighted ovum and I had one myself last September. The reason they are waiting is probably because they want to be 100% sure it is an MMC. The limbo is horrible. I hope you have support.

Blight Ovums are the cause of most MCs and are usually due to genetic abnormalities, and the pregnancy didn't develop. It is so unfair. I had no symptoms of MC, no pain or bleeding

I opted for medical management in hospital. I did this because of the small (probably miniscule) risk of damage to the cervix with surgical management as I have already had treatment for abnormal cells and a shorter cervix. It was painful but they gave me pethidine and it was the best choice for me personally.

I fell pregnant again 6 weeks later and I am now 27 weeks. Big hugs flowers

Bristolian1 Tue 12-May-15 15:16:51

Thelly I'm so sorry you're having to go through this flowers it's totally heartbreaking.
When I had an Mmc last year it was very similar circumstances to you. They waited a week for a repeat scan to make sure that there was no growth visible - ie no mistake with your dates (if your baby is measuring <6 weeks it could just not have a visible heartbeat yet but be normal for dates). It is awful to have to wait, but at least you'll know that there's definitely nothing that can be done at the end of it.
I had 2 mmc last year, and the EPU nurse said that my body is just really good at being pregnant, so carries on despite the baby not developing. I'm sure this is just her trying to make me feel better but I found it a reassuring thought.

Thelly86 Tue 12-May-15 16:29:03

Thank you all for your reassuring and informative messages. It's good to know that, even when you feel alone, you're not & other people have gone through it too.
I just want it over & done with now so I can start over again.I don't want the bleeding or the pain or anything but I guess that's the unfortunate ending.
Is medical or surgical better in peoples opinions? I want the least stress & To be normal again as soon as possible. With 2 children at home I have to be practical & can't really be out of use for any amount of time

HopefullyOnedayzz Tue 12-May-15 17:33:37

I'm kinda going through the same thing although it's been going on for weeks. I had a miscarriage in February and no period since, I found out I was pregnant again at the start of April but started spotting a week later so went for an early scan with showed a 5mm empty sac, I had to go back 2weeks later again showed a 15mm empty sac, a week later 19mm empty sac (by this point I'd had enough physically and emotionally and needed answers but they won't class it as a miscarriage yet). On Sunday I had a lot of bleeding so went for a scan today and it was a 21mm empty sac, they said that until it gets to 25mm they can't determine if it's a mc, so I now have to wait another 10days for a final scan. I know it's not going to be a positive outcome but because of my history they can't date me and national guidelines won't write it off until 25mm. I hope they prove me wrong and I see a little fighter in there but after the numerous scans it's hard to be hopeful sad xx

Bristolian1 Tue 12-May-15 17:40:40

Hopefully that sounds horrible. I'm so sorry you're going through that.
I've had medical and surgical managements Thelly and think there's pros and cons to both and it's down to personal preference. With medical my NHS trust send you home to pass the sac and it was pretty scary and a little bit gory tbh. I did find that going through the physical miscarriage sort of helped me to come to terms with it mentally though. Surgical was much 'easier' physically and I had a negative pregnancy test earlier afterwards, but obviously has potential complications and drawbacks too. Whatever you decide will be right for you flowers

Thelly86 Tue 12-May-15 18:00:28

Oh hopefully that sounds like a really tough time to have to go through, but it sounds like there is still a shred of hope? I will have my fingers/toes/everything crossed. bristol thank you for explaining the procedures. I'll probs opt for the surgical option if things haven't started moving by then.

It's so sad that we've all had to go through this heart break. Now all i see are pregnant ppl everywhere. It always seems that everyone else has no problems & always get their babies

lauraa4 Tue 12-May-15 18:12:36

I agree with bristolian - I've had both too. Surgical you don't have to experience everything coming out but it is obviously general anaesthetic so that's a risk in itself. Personally after going through medical management and seeing everything I didn't want to go through that again which is why I wanted to be put to sleep.

HopefullyOnedayzz Tue 12-May-15 19:06:52

Thankyou I will hopefully have some final answers on my next scan fingers crossed. Iv also had 2 previous mc the first was surgical and seemed to b over very quickly but the whole process scared me going under but I'm scared of needles though, the second I had the tablets but my hospital had me stay in over night to monitor me which was nice having the extra care and I found that seeing it happen helped me come to terms with everything quicker. This time tho I think if it's not good news I'm going to go for the surgical as I think my body dosnt want to let go and scared the tablets won't work so I don't want to prolong this whole process any more. Thanks for the kind messages and fingers crossed we all get our babies soon xxx

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