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Pg, DP doesn't want it, so confused.

(8 Posts)
Barefeet Tue 05-May-15 22:12:52

We knowingly had unprotected sex. Stupidly didn't think anything would happen. It did. I'm in my late 30s & about 7 wks pg.

DP desperately doesn't want this baby (I knew he wouldn't). Our lives are complicated, we don't live together, relationship has been rocky, there is no space for a baby. Practically, a baby is ridiculous. But I want it. I don't know why, I just do. It's madness.

I am bleeding atm - dr says it's likely to be a miscarriage but to wait and see if it worsens. I am booked in with termination clinic next week and also with the midwife. So, all eventualities covered. But I feel sad and confused.

Not really looking for advice, just needed to get it out. I'm too old for this.

girliefriend Tue 05-May-15 22:18:53

Oh bless you flowers

I guess you need to wait and see if you are miscarrying or not sad if you don't want a termination don't have one. All the other 'stuff' can be sorted out.

Barefeet Wed 06-May-15 07:18:52

Thank you. Bleeding has eased up now so looks like it's ok. Well 'ok'. What happens now, I don't know.

I've always wanted more babies but the timing of this isn't great. If dP didn't look so gutted, it'd be much easier but I think a baby might break him. And a termination will break me.

ThumbWitchesAbroad Wed 06-May-15 07:21:33

If your relationship is already rocky, then you having a termination certainly isn't going to fix it.
You having this baby is probably going to break it - but chances are you're going to break up anyway, by the sound of it - so, um, maybe do what you want to do and let the consequences take care of themselves?

Of course, you may have the choice taken out of your hands, judging by what you said in your OP - commiserations if so. thanks

lexyloub Wed 06-May-15 10:33:26

You need to be selfless here and put your needs and wants above all else, if you don't want a termination then certainly don't do it. Your DP can make his own mind up in time if he wants to be part of the babies life or not, he knowingly had unprotected sex with you so he knew there was a possibility you'd get pregnant he needs to deal with it.
It sounds like the pregnancy will break your relationship whatever you decide to do. Do you have any rl support from parents siblings friends etc that can help out with the practicalities?
Regards the bleeding it's more common than you think alot of women bleed when their period would of been due, if your bleeding has stopped that's a good sign. Are you booked in with EPU for a scan?

Barefeet Wed 06-May-15 12:04:59

Thank you. Not booked in for a scan. Properly bleeding now - red and clots. Don't know what to do.

Thank you for your advice. I just feel really sad

girliefriend Wed 06-May-15 17:09:01

Speak to your dr, it sounds like a miscarriage though sad

flowers hope you are o.kay, have you got any rl support?

ThumbWitchesAbroad Thu 07-May-15 15:15:50

You really ought to get a scan, to see if you have indeed had a full MC, or not. Do speak to your GP.

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