Would you like to be a member of our research panel? Join here - there's (nearly) always a great incentive offered for your views.

Your best excuses please!

(25 Posts)
ejclementine Sun 03-May-15 09:35:09

Hi, I'm 5 weeks pregnant and determined not to tell family and friends until I have made it to my 12 week scan. I've always enjoyed wine and I used the excuse that I'm on a diet at a family meal last night where I said no to wine and Stilton. My sisters made a big thing of a night out we have got coming up and suggest gin and slimline tonic. I don't want to pull 'I'm on antibiotics' out the bag because if they ask me if I'm pg I'll be gutted if I give it away. Ive also got a work do coming up, so I need a bit of help!

Would love to hear some more excuses to add to my arsenal.

ExcitedA3 Sun 03-May-15 09:53:33

Just wondering, why are you so adamant that they don't know? I understand the rest of the world but why your close family? I always went with the idea that I would tell people who I would also tell if something went wrong? If that makes sense?! I told my parents and sister. I would want them there for me if things didn't go to plan... I'm not saying you're wrong by the way!!! Just wondering what the thinking behind it is x

HazleNutt Sun 03-May-15 09:58:53

I didn't tell family either - I didn't want them to worry about me, if something went wrong. As for drinking, I just took a glass and fiddled with it, nobody noticed that I didn't need refills. If you're out, try to order yourself and simply get tonic instead of G&T.
stilton is fine to eat.

ejclementine Sun 03-May-15 10:02:48

Hi, oh I though Stilton was a no no. I think I read that on the nhs site, I'll have to look again as I love cheese!
I don't want to tell them because I want it to be a lovely surprise with a scan picture. If anything were to go wrong I'd have my OH there, but we both really want to get past these first hurdles together and then surprise them all. Fingers crossed! smile

ejclementine Sun 03-May-15 10:04:09

For me it would really spoil the occasion if any of them said 'it's still early days' or anything like that. I'd rather do it once the risk has dropped right down and so would my OH. x

rebbles Sun 03-May-15 10:07:04

I am 13 weeks and still haven't told my family! I am telling mine next week. Order a glass of wine and a tap water and pretend to drink it, or get your partner to sneakily drink it. Orrr order a 'vodka and coke' or 'gin and tonic' minus the spirits- they won't know wink

Alternatively you could just say you don't feel well.

You could keep going down the diet route that seems like a valid excuse, particularly if you say you're doing weightwatchers or something and say you don't have enough points left in the day for an alcoholic drink.

chloechloe Sun 03-May-15 10:11:10

Any excuse for not drinking will always raise suspicion! I found it was much easier to pretend to drink. Try and get the rounds in yourself and if somebody gives you a drink just pretend to sip it until you can dump it somewhere and change it for a non alcoholic one. People are much less observant than you think. I got through an entire hen weekend doing this when I was a few weeks pg!

Alternatively make a point of how you were out the night before and drank waaaaay too much. Order an alcoholic drink as a hair of the dog and then say it's making you feel even rougher not better and that you can't stomach it!

curlii103 Sun 03-May-15 10:28:56

I told my family really early and regretted it because they were so excited and full of it will be fine.(it is!!)..where as I wanted to be practical and get through the scan and tests etc so totally get your point. being hungover can work, getting your own drinks or training for a run or something??

HoppityVoosh Sun 03-May-15 10:34:17

If you order a "vodka and coke" without the vodka make sure it's in a small glass! I ordered this at a work do but didn't think about the glass and my colleague screeched "look at the size of yours compared to my mine!" me hurriedly going "er, um.. it's a double!"

Emjones88 Sun 03-May-15 10:40:21

I am only 6 weeks and have told certain family members and best friends, for the same reasons as ExcitedA3 said. Certain people at work have to know as my job is full on and poss dangerous. But more than anything it turns out I wore my news in the form of a Cheshire Cat-Grin! Perhaps you could say your doing a bet with your OH? Who can last the longest?

newbian Sun 03-May-15 10:52:30

I gave dieting as an excuse when I was TTC. People still give you a hard time about it, but I was actually eating really healthy so if they saw my overall behavior, it wasn't really that hard to believe.

The reality is that if you stop drinking, people will guess or assume that you're pregnant. Your only hope is that they are mature and don't make a big deal of it. A friend of mine who always liked a drink only had soft drinks at a party we held, knew immediately what it meant but acted surprised when she told me anyway a few months later.

But I only really worried about work colleagues and extended friends. Close family guessing wouldn't have bothered me.

HazleNutt Sun 03-May-15 11:04:48

stilton www.nhs.uk/chq/Pages/are-hard-cheeses-safe-to-eat-during-pregnancy.aspx?CategoryID=54&SubCategoryID=216#close

oneyorkshirepud Sun 03-May-15 13:14:41

Hi OP, I'm getting pretty good at stealth drinking. Some friends knew we were ttc so are 'waiting' for me to be not drinking. Now I accept a glass of wine, cheers everyone and wet my lips with it. Drink loads of water, fiddle with my glass, wait until DH has finished his glass and then we subtly pick up each other's glasses and I offer everyone a refill, including myself! I think MIL is the only one who might have cottoned on but she is very subtle so won't say anything! Pouring down the sink/in plant pot totally acceptable too!!

Lunastarfish Sun 03-May-15 13:33:54

Schlur in a wine glass was how I got away with it, however, it does mean ordering your own drinks!

Alternatively say you've had diarrhoea so not drinking because you are dehydrated - no one questions diarrhoea grin

wispywoo1 Sun 03-May-15 14:41:36

I've had a few parties and a hen do which I think I got away with. Just order your own drinks and say you're on spirits. Drink those slowly and make sure you only need a drink when everyone else is full. Then you're not in any rounds.

I understand not wanting to tell people. I didn't want them to be excited and let down a few weeks later. Not telling them before doesn't mean you can't tell them if things do go wrong. They'll still be there for you but won't be dealing with their own grief.

ejclementine Sun 03-May-15 18:42:17

Thank you v.much everyone. Some fab suggestions. I can do this! smile

MissTwister Sun 03-May-15 19:22:53

I had to pretty much cancel all social occasions unless I told people. I was previously quite a big drinker AND it was Xmas. I became a hermit.....

jeee Sun 03-May-15 19:35:18

I very rarely drink but do enjoy a glass with a nice meal out. When I was pregnant with dc4 I went on a weekend jaunt with my parents and siblings, and dad suggested sharing a bottle of wine. I did think it was very obvious when I refused, but nobody noticed.

My mum used to offer me stilton to find out whether I was pregnant at any given time, though grin

wowiesis111 Sun 03-May-15 19:48:51

A little trick that we did at a wedding... Partner would go to the bar and buy a sparkling water with lime. He would pour a 'vodka shot' sized amount in the glass with the ice and lime then bring bottle of water to table.
Vodka lime and sparkling water. Could say waters better for you as no calories when your 'on a health kick'. They will think the amount in the glass is vodka.
Worked for us ( my friend even knew we were trying and she didn't guess!)

scarednoob Sun 03-May-15 20:26:43

If you don't mind them knowing you are trying, you can just say you're not drinking because you are trying - that fooled all of us when my brother and SIL told us that! But if you don't even want to say that, small splash of water on ice to look like vodka...

Man, I miss a nice icy cold vodka....!!!

Caterina99 Sun 03-May-15 23:01:40

Obviously it depends if you want to be completely abstinent or not, your choice, but the best way I found to hide it was just to accept a drink and then sip it v slowly, interspersed with soft drinks. People don't generally notice what you actually drink, they only notice the refusal!

Swapping with partner or getting them to order you a "g&t" works well too!

ch1134 Mon 04-May-15 07:09:13

I said I was training for a run and that worked.

CuppaSarah Mon 04-May-15 07:28:46

Accept one glass of wine/booze of whatever kind and just hold it pretending to sip from the glass. Then get a soft drink as well. Tell people your pacing yourself, or that you fancy spirits, or that spirits are less calories. Whatever excuse works for you, they probably won't ask so don't say anything unless asked. But if you have a glass of wine there you can decline top ups without raising suspicion and once people have had a few drinks, they won't notice your never ending wine glass.

TheMidnightHour Tue 05-May-15 17:18:45

For lots of people, paracetamol + alcohol = migraine so you could say you had a headache, forgot and took some so you can't drink?

Also, there's no evidence that small amounts of alcohol cause problems, so you could have a unit, e.g. glass of wine without worrying (try: Expecting Better (book) for the science behind it).

I mostly just had a glass of wine, waved it around a lot without drinking it, topped up other people's glasses and abandoned drinks whenever I could. No one guessed. The gin-less G&T is a good one, as are virgin cocktails and volunteering to drive.

Good luck!

Blackandwhitecat3 Tue 05-May-15 19:19:27

Tell them you've developed IBS and the doctor's advised you to lay off alcohol until your gut recovers. No-one will ask any questions!

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now