No comment upon revealing pregnancy

[mountainofdreams]

Hi Ladies (and gents)

I have a very large family of aunts, uncles and cousins who are mostly older than me and who I lived close to and saw in my childhood.
We don't talk much now but may Facebook each other happy birthday etc and see at family occasions or Christmas.
Last week my mum told them all about my pregnancy (as they live in a different country and my mum saw them face to face).
As of today I have only received one message of congrats (funnily enough from one of my much older cousins who due to the age gap I didn't see much growing up).
I'm a bit surprised by the silence, has anyone else experienced this?

[Gillian1980]

That's a shame.

Is it possible that they were waiting for you to make an announcement or something before congratulating you?
I wouldn't congratulate somebody if I'd heard the news via someone else in case they didn't want people to know yet.

[mountainofdreams]

I don't know!
It would be quite usual in my family that news would be passed by a parent (as the aunts and uncles talk more regularly on the phone) and no assumption of it being a secret.
I don't know if they are waiting for some announcement on Facebook so they can 'comment' because I won't be putting the news out there like that!
Another part of me thinks it may be because I'm younger than most of them and unmarried however this pregnancy is very much welcomed, dp and I are financially sound and we are homeowners.
I'm not really worried just confused!

[Charis1]

Do they even log on to face book? I log one once every 6 months or so. To be fair, they are living their own lives in a different country, it isn't really earth shattering news to them. They most probably articulated their congratulations to your mum, didn't they?

[YouMakeMyHeartSmile]

I would never have expected any Facebook congratulations from my extended family. A lot of them don't use it particularly often and others would have waited for me to put something in Facebook (which I never did!) before saying anything publicly.

[mountainofdreams]

Hi Charis yes they are all regulars (daily) on fb. Funnily enough the cousin that messaged me is the least active facebooker.
It's certainly not earth shattering but only one other family member (out of cousins and second cousins) has children (twins) so I thought there may be at least a congrats.
And my aforementioned cousin is the only family member who articulated congrats to my mum!

[Charis1]

well, anyway, congratulations!

[mountainofdreams]

Thank you Charis! That's lovely!
I'm just thankful that all the grandparents and siblings are delighted!

[Orangeisthenewbanana]

I would never comment on something like that on FB, unless the individual themselves had posted something about it. Just in case they hadn't wanted it made so public. I might send a txt if had their number, but probably not for extended family and cousins. Congratulations on your pregnancy

[mountainofdreams]

Hi Orange, I meant more private messaging on fb or texting rather than a public comment.
I always thought we were quite close and supportive of each other but maybe I was mistaken!
Thanks for your congrats!

[sanfairyanne]

perhaps they are a bit old fashioned/superstitious and dont want to 'jinx' the pregnancy til 3 month mark? none of my older relatives would use fb for that kind of message either, i am sure

[brokencrayons]

I'm in the same boat, my mum told my extended family a d I've heard nothing from them. I know it's because they won't say anything until I've announced it personally. It's out of respect I'm guessing x

[Amyyy27]

My family is a bit like that so it won't surprise me when my pregnancy is announced. I imagine they will say congrats to my parents/grandparents to pass on to me and if I happen to put it on Facebook I might get a few congrats then.

Anyway congrats

[BlinkAndMiss]

They're probably pleased for you but as others have pointed out, it's not exactly earth shattering news for them. Wait until you actually have the baby, people are generally more open with congratulations then rather than the early stages.

Don't get hung up on the reactions of other people, you don't always know what else is going on in their lives.

[Focusfocus]

I personally called up/emailed all my parents' siblings - so four aunts and two uncles, emailed all the respective cousins, and e only surviving grandparent - myself. They all replied to emails immediately with love and best wishes and/or congratulated on phone.

Now, had I not done this, and conveyed it to them via my parents, as would be more convenient for me, I am confident they'd express congratulations to my parents for me, but not then go call or text me.

[IfYouWereARiverIdLearnToFloat]

I would imagine if you only really communicate through FB they won't want to put a congratulatory message there incase it's not common knowledge.

I told my gran I was pregnant last week but could she keep it quiet for now as only parents & siblings knew.

She then took it so seriously she didn't mention anything to my mum on the phone until she'd talked about it first bless her.